Anymore Brits out there on Dialysis?

[Ken Shelmerdine]

*ahem* Ken?    I eat English Muffins, can i have a royal title tooooo?   

Oh Jesus! WTF!  Everyone wants one! You'll all be wanting to become landed gentry of half of Cornwall next!
Well.......Ahem......... ..............................................................................................................................

I KEN SHELMERDINE, FELLOW OF THE BRITISH INSTITUTION OF THE CRIMINALLY INSANE HEREBY BESTOW ON ALL ON IHD,THEIR SPOUSES AND LOVED ONES HONOURY BRITISH CITIZENSHIP  KNIGHTHOODS OBE'S AND MBE'S.

Since I'm being so kind and generous, may I become an Honourary American, Canadian and Ossie citizen.
Don't tell your customs officials though they'll have me arrested as an ilegal alien.  

[paris]

Ken, have you told the queen that you are handing out royal titles?  You know we Americans love royalty!!

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Ken, you are so much fun!  I was destined for royalty---I dated a guy named "King" and then married a "Barron" and my name is Elizabeth --- so why am I living a commoners life?    "Beautiful Game" was, of course about soccer.   You have a wonderful country and I hope to come back one day.

I knew I had good judgement.

[kitkatz]

I hereby make Ken Shelmerdine an honorary American citizen with the privilege to bitch and complain at our politicians when ever you want(just like we do!); the opportunity to eat yourself to obesity in the American way of life; and freedom!

 

[goofynina]

*ahem* Ken?    I eat English Muffins, can i have a royal title tooooo?   

Oh Jesus! WTF!  Everyone wants one! You'll all be wanting to become landed gentry of half of Cornwall next!
Well.......Ahem......... ..............................................................................................................................

I KEN SHELMERDINE, FELLOW OF THE BRITISH INSTITUTION OF THE CRIMINALLY INSANE HEREBY BESTOW ON ALL ON IHD,THEIR SPOUSES AND LOVED ONES HONOURY BRITISH CITIZENSHIP  KNIGHTHOODS OBE'S AND MBE'S.

Since I'm being so kind and generous, may I become an Honourary American, Canadian and Ossie citizen.
Don't tell your customs officials though they'll have me arrested as an ilegal alien.  

I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT,  but we are going to have to Americanize your name too ok,  you are now going to be known as (trumpets blowing)  Kenizzle Shelmerdizzle     ooooh, me likey   

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Ken, have you told the queen that you are handing out royal titles?  You know we Americans love royalty!!

Of course she does. Lizzie (We're on first name terms don't you kneeow) and I often have a good old chinwag about who should receive titles of the realm. In fact she goes on my recomendations.

[goofynina]

Ken, have you told the queen that you are handing out royal titles?  You know we Americans love royalty!!

Of course she does. Lizzie (We're on first name terms don't you kneeow) and I often have a good old chinwag about who should receive titles of the realm. In fact she goes on my recomendations.

That is good to know, then can you tell her to tell her guards to take a chill pill and stop being so snotty, smile once in awhile sheesh, life aint THAT bad    (or is it) 

[Ken Shelmerdine]

I hereby make Ken Shelmerdine an honorary American citizen with the privilege to bitch and complain at our politicians when ever you want(just like we do!); the opportunity to eat yourself to obesity in the American way of life; and freedom!

 

I already do all this. But Thank-you I am honoured to accept.

[Romona]

Already know the offsides rule. I was an assistant coach! Can I have my title now? I really would like a castle too. And a tiara.  
And I drink English Breakfast Tea.
And don't forget Goofy Nina bad cable tv is necessary in these United States.  

[Ken Shelmerdine]

I'm tired what with all this twoing and froing to Buck Palace.  I'm going to hook up and get to bed. . I just had a thought I'll have to start calling the boot of my car 'the trunk' the bonnet 'the hood' and the windscreen 'the windshield'

Night night everyone.

[goofynina]

Good night Ken, thanks for the Royalties

[LightLizard]

and now that yer an honorary american, what do ya call yer gun?
 

[paris]

Ken, thanks for making this a fun day.  I have been laughing more with each new post.   We certainly didn't stay on topic--but we had fun!

[Ken Shelmerdine]

and now that yer an honorary american, what do ya call yer gun?
 

PIECE?

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Already know the offsides rule. I was an assistant coach! Can I have my title now? I really would like a castle too. And a tiara.  
And I drink English Breakfast Tea.
And don't forget Goofy Nina bad cable tv is necessary in these United States.  

  Sorry Ramona, I.. er.... just presumed hey I'm well impressed. You can be the next prime minister for that! I'll nominate you at the next general election.

  Thanks everybody for making this thread so much fun and special thanks to Sir Stauffenburg of Hammersmith cause he started it all. I've never been on IHD late at night UK time. It became like a chat room didn't it? I've never laughed so much in ages. I'm usually posting as I am now when it's ealry morning across the pond. Thanks again everyone you're the best.



EDITED:  Fixed  icon error - Goofynina/Admin.

[goofynina]

Hi Ken,  Just wanted to say, the feelings mutual friend    We all luv ya 

[Romona]

Ken, Please have someone meet me at the airport so I can assume my Prime Minister dutiies. Goofynina, Kitkatz, Paris and anyone else that wants to go, pack your bags. Please bring the valium, I have never flown before. Also please tell the BBC to film me from my left side, that is my better side. Have I forgotten anything? 
Also I request Handy Andy and that guy with the long wavy hair from Changing Rooms to re-decorate my residence.

[KICKSTART]

Romona the guy with long wavy hair .. i think you mean Lawrence LLewelyn Bowen   ..sorry but he's busy doing my spare room     and im not letting him out !

[paris]

Ken, you really have everyone on a roll!  Just when I think the posting is done--someone else posts and I am laughing again!  Packing my bags and finding valium for Romona!!  First phrase everyone needs to learn is "mind the gap"!   

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Ken, Please have someone meet me at the airport so I can assume my Prime Minister dutiies. Goofynina, Kitkatz, Paris and anyone else that wants to go, pack your bags. Please bring the valium, I have never flown before. Also please tell the BBC to film me from my left side, that is my better side. Have I forgotten anything? 
Also I request Handy Andy and that guy with the long wavy hair from Changing Rooms to re-decorate my residence.

Certainly madam I'll have my man see to it. Of the two limousines would Madam prefer the Rolls or the Bentley? And will Countess Goofynina, Dame Paris of Near Victoria Station and Lady Kitkats be accompanying you?

 Lawrence Llewellin Bowen is is only available for a limited period this afternoon. Unfortunately Madam will not be able to meet him as Madam will be entertaining the President of Mozambique. 




Sorry, accidently hit the "modify" instead of the quote button,  NO ERRORS HERE FOLKS - Goofynina/Admin.

[AlasdairUK]

Hi Ken, I have been a little absent lately, just busy at work. I still have the odd post.

Cricket is my main sport, but I do follow football. I support Arsenal because one of my friends growing up was a Spurs fan. It was lots of fun to rag him about being a Spurs fan and me an Arsenal fan.

I'm looking forward to the Rugby World Cup next month and I even have a weekend trip to France to watch a game.

[goofynina]

Ken, Please have someone meet me at the airport so I can assume my Prime Minister dutiies. Goofynina, Kitkatz, Paris and anyone else that wants to go, pack your bags. Please bring the valium, I have never flown before. Also please tell the BBC to film me from my left side, that is my better side. Have I forgotten anything? 
Also I request Handy Andy and that guy with the long wavy hair from Changing Rooms to re-decorate my residence.

Certainly madam I'll have my man see to it. Of the two limousines would Madam prefer the Rolls or the Bentley? And will Countess Goofynina, Dame Paris of Near Victoria Station and Lady Kitkats be accompanying you?

 Lawrence Llewellin Bowen is is only available for a limited period this afternoon. Unfortunately Madam will not be able to meet him as Madam will be entertaining the President of Mozambique. 




Sorry, accidently hit the "modify" instead of the quote button,  NO ERRORS HERE FOLKS - Goofynina/Admin.

Ohhhhh you better believe it,  I AM SOOOO THERE    I am also dying to find out what the heck a "crumpet" is?  I have heard that expression forever, "tea and crumpet"  at least that is what i think they say, lol 

COUNTESS GOOFYNINA IS IN DA HIZZOUSE!!! 

[Romona]

Ken, I don't know how to do the quote thing.
My entourage will be accompanying me. An oridnary mini van to pick me up is fine (the vehicle of choice for soccer Moms).
Who is going to re-do my home? Kickstart has my decorator tied up.
I guess I'll meet with that guy from Mozambique. But he has to pay for his own dinner. My kids need lunch money this week so funds are tight.

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Ken, Please have someone meet me at the airport so I can assume my Prime Minister dutiies. Goofynina, Kitkatz, Paris and anyone else that wants to go, pack your bags. Please bring the valium, I have never flown before. Also please tell the BBC to film me from my left side, that is my better side. Have I forgotten anything? 
Also I request Handy Andy and that guy with the long wavy hair from Changing Rooms to re-decorate my residence.

Certainly madam I'll have my man see to it. Of the two limousines would Madam prefer the Rolls or the Bentley? And will Countess Goofynina, Dame Paris of Near Victoria Station and Lady Kitkats be accompanying you?

 Lawrence Llewellin Bowen is is only available for a limited period this afternoon. Unfortunately Madam will not be able to meet him as Madam will be entertaining the President of Mozambique. 




Sorry, accidently hit the "modify" instead of the quote button,  NO ERRORS HERE FOLKS - Goofynina/Admin.

Ohhhhh you better believe it,  I AM SOOOO THERE    I am also dying to find out what the heck a "crumpet" is?  I have heard that expression forever, "tea and crumpet"  at least that is what i think they say, lol 

COUNTESS GOOFYNINA IS IN DA HIZZOUSE!!! 

Countess Susie
Crumpets are kind of flourery doughy things about circular in shape, about 3 inches diameter and about 1/2 an inch thick. You toast them and then butter them and add jam or marmalade. My other half Rita sometimes has them for breakfast. I hate the bloody things! http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~jchap/tvcrump.htm

Also it's slang for a pretty girl as in 'Corr there goes a nice bit of crumpet!'

[goofynina]

Thank you Dear Ken for explaining but arent they similar to English Muffins?  Look like them and i eat mine pretty much the same way you described (but then again i do a bagel too)