Generosity received, generosity given

Generosity received, generosity given

By Trish Wallace
Meramec Journal
May 12, 2007

Because Tanya Moder, 44, knows she cannot repay all of the recent generosity shown to her family, she wants to pay some kindness forward. The Barnhart mother is donating her kidney.

Moder said she has wanted to be a living donor for a long time, but her teenage daughter's diagnosis with spinal problems put those plans on hold.

Brandi Moder, 17, has three spinal conditions and Type 1 diabetes. The family must raise $50,000 for Brandi to undergo an experimental surgery to heal her spine. The overwhelming support of the local community and from places as far as London and Australia moved Tanya to action.

"I can't repay everybody, so what better way than to save somebody's life?" she said.

Moder went to several Web sites hoping to find a child in Missouri in need of a kidney. Finding none, she searched for a Missouri adult, with no luck. So she turned to http://www.MatchingDonors.com <http://www.matchingdonors.com/>. That's when she found Judy Ogiejko, a 54-year-old woman from Riverhead, N.Y., near Long Island.

As Moder poured through more than 200 profiles, she kept returning to Ogiejko's story, even though she admitted she saw nothing remarkable or amazing about her. Believing the odds of her being a match were extremely slim, Moder sent Ogiejko an e-mail, contacted a donor representative and began the testing process.

Not only did Moder match Ogiejko's tissue, blood and gene types, she had no antibodies that would fight against Ogiejko's system.

"They told me, 'The only way you could be a better match is if you were her identical twin sister,'" Moder said.

Ogiejko suffers from Polycystic Kidney Disease, a hereditary disease that affects her entire family and killed her grandfather and mother.

The disease causes cysts to grow on the kidneys. Right now, Moder said, each of Ogiejko's kidneys weighs 15 pounds because of cysts. Ogiejko has been on dialysis for nearly two years.

"Dialysis can keep you going for a long time, but it takes a heavy toll on the body," Moder said.

Ogiejko has three siblings who have had successful transplants, and both of her children will have to receive transplants as well.

Moder hopes for the procedure to take place mid-June to allow her recuperation time before her son graduates from boot camp.

Although past surgeries made her nervous and she confessed a profound fear of flying, Moder feels little anxiety about the trip to New York and transplant surgery.

"The only thing I'm nervous about is not being able to help her," Moder said.

Moder is hoping for a laparoscopic procedure, which requires only small incisions and the kidney is "sucked out through a tube." But because of her previous abdominal surgeries, scar tissue might require a large eight- or nine-inch incision and the possible removal of a rib.

"I have to tell you, I'm not really thrilled about being cut in half," Moder said.

Still, her determination has not wavered, and she and Ogiejko have already decided to celebrate kidney birthdays. Moder said she already considers the organ Ogiejko's kidney, and that she has only been housing it for her until now.

The two women have never met face to face but correspond often via phone and e-mail.

"We've become friends," Moder said. "This is a woman I would welcome into my home. She's just a joy."

Moder's only hesitation when she first began searching for recipients was Brandi. Kidney failure is a common complication of Type 1 diabetes, so Moder told her daughter she would save her kidney if she was a match. But Brandi encouraged her to proceed with Ogiejko.

"She's my biggest supporter."

In fact, Moder credits all of her family and friends for being supportive, as she becomes more of an advocate for living donors.

"Every one of the people at work say, 'Why would you do this?' My pat response is 'Why wouldn't everyone do this?' You only need one kidney to survive," Moder said.

The organ donation has "put a cramp in fund raising," but she plans to dive back into it after she recovers. To date, the Moder family has raised a little more than $27,000 for Brandi's surgery, but time is running out. All but one of the discs in the lumbar part of her spine have herniated, and the last one is already bulging. Once the disease extends beyond the lumbar area, the surgery will not be possible.

A yard sale to raise money for Brandi has been scheduled for May 19. For more information, call 314-330-7506.