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Author Topic: You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....  (Read 92077 times)
okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #100 on: September 11, 2008, 10:15:18 AM »


You installed a whip antenna so you can fly “The Stars And Bars” on your NxStage!
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
G-Ma
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« Reply #101 on: September 11, 2008, 12:49:49 PM »

Well u'all..I hooked up one o them thar CB's to my Saline antenne and I kin talk all the way to Alaska....  :rofl;
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Lost vision due to retinopathy 12/2005, 30 Laser Surg 2006
ESRD diagnosed 12/2006
03/2007 Fantastic Eye Surgeon in ND got my sight back and implanted lenses in both eyes, great distance & low reading.
Gortex 4/07.  Started dialysis in ND 5/4/2007
Gortex clotted off Thanksgiving Week of 2007, was unclotted and promptly clotted off 1/2 hour later so Permacath Rt chest.
3/2008 move to NC to be close to children.
2 Step fistula, 05/08-elevated 06/08, using mid August.
Aug 5, 08, trained NxStage and Home on 9/3/2008.
Fistulagram 09/2008. In hospital 10/30/08, Bowel Obstruction.
Back to RAI-Latrobe In Center. No home hemo at this time.
GOD IS GOOD
Wayne
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Martin (the snorer) & Mack (cat w/renal failure)

« Reply #102 on: September 27, 2008, 12:28:56 AM »

You refer to your machine as the General Lee...
You play darts by hanging an old pizza box on the wall and throwing your needles at it...
You are so excited when your new machine arrives from WalMart...
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Happily Married for 11 Wonderful Years!!! :-)
3/01 diagnosed with fsgs
7/07 listed
4/08 fistula surgery
10/08 pd catheter placed
12/08 started pd
2/09 started hemo
flip
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« Reply #103 on: September 27, 2008, 06:25:20 PM »

You disconnect to go to the bathroom. The nurse thinks you have diarrhea, but you just want a smoke.
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That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
twirl
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« Reply #104 on: September 27, 2008, 07:41:57 PM »

You disconnect to go to the bathroom. The nurse thinks you have diarrhea, but you just want a smoke.


 :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
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kellyt
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« Reply #105 on: September 27, 2008, 09:13:49 PM »

- if you've ever used a toilet brush as a backscratcher at dialysis.

 - if you've ever used a leaf blower to dust your NxStage.

 - if more than once you've given the excuse "alien abduction" as a reason for missing dialysis.

 - if you've ever brought your fishin pole to dialysis.

 - if you've ever asked your dialysis neighbor to "pull your finger".

 - if you've ever burped and said your name at the same time when announcing your arrival to dialysis.

 - if you schedule dialysis in the afternoon so you can watch Jerry Springer in peace.

 - if you die and leave everything to your widow, but she can't get to it 'til she turns 14.

 - if your kids take your empty saline bags and used tubing to Show N Tell.

 - if you've ever been forced to take off your belt buckle before your weigh-in.
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1993 diagnosed with glomerulonephritis.
Oct 41, 2007 - Got fistula placed.
Feb 13, 2008 - Activated on "the list".
Nov 5, 2008 - Received living donor transplant from my sister-in-law, Etta.
Nov 5, 2011 - THREE YEARS POST TRANSPLANT!  :D
Chris
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« Reply #106 on: September 27, 2008, 10:20:45 PM »


 - if you've ever asked your dialysis neighbor to "pull your finger".


That actually happened at my dialysis unit  ??? :urcrazy;
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Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
Katonsdad
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« Reply #107 on: September 28, 2008, 07:15:23 PM »

How about if there are fish guts on the scale because one of the patints
wanted to show off his county record Bass.
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Diabetes 1976
Eye issues 1987
Kidney Failure 1997
CAPD 1997 , Stopped 1997 due to infections evey 28 days
Started In Center Hemo 1997
Received Kidney/Pancreas transplant 1999 at UCLA
Wife and I had son in 2001 , by donor for my part (Stopping the illness train)
Kidney failed 2011 , Back on Hemo . Looking to retransplant as the Kidney is still working



Soft kitty, warm kitty,
 little ball of fur,
happy kitty,sleepy kitty,
 purr purr purr ::
Sheldon and Penny on The Big Bng Theory
okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #108 on: January 06, 2009, 06:27:53 PM »


 - You have to hit the side of your Nxstage machine to get the lights and dials to work.

 - You use moonshine as antiseptic.

 - Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can bring in your supply boxes."
Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
kitkatz
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« Reply #109 on: January 06, 2009, 08:48:47 PM »

If you have to move your boxes of supplies. to bring in yet more boxes of supplies. There ain't nothin like being all stocked up!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Rerun
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Going through life tied to a chair!

« Reply #110 on: January 07, 2009, 12:48:47 PM »

If you have to shovel the snow off the top of your dialysis machine before you set-up.
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Wenchie58
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Always carrying the big silly grin!

« Reply #111 on: January 07, 2009, 12:57:06 PM »


...if you lock your tubing in the gun cabinet so the teenagers
don't use it to siphon gas.
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning Satan shudders and says "Oh s**t, she's awake!"

Right nephrectomy 1963
Diagnosed ESRD 2007
"Listed" summer 2007
Transplant 3/6 match  10/24/08
Chris
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« Reply #112 on: January 09, 2009, 02:39:32 AM »

You must be a redneck if you use your hybrid vehicle to power you dialysis machine as you drive around till your done thinking your helping the enviroment.
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Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
twirl
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« Reply #113 on: January 09, 2009, 10:33:38 AM »

if a couple of your students are kin to Jeff Foxworthy

two of his nieces went to the school I taught at in Gangerland 
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kitkatz
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« Reply #114 on: January 09, 2009, 02:37:09 PM »

you burn the boxes in your back yard in a huge bonfire and invite the neighbors over for weenie roast and beer.
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Angelicfury
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« Reply #115 on: January 11, 2009, 08:12:37 PM »

If your dialysis machine and your pickup have the same racing stripes and front grill.

P.S. Can't forget the camo!
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Has thou felt the fury of an Angel . . . .

In-center 7/7/08
4.5 hrs 3x wk
Formerly 161.8 Kg
Currently 129 Kg (dry)
twirl
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« Reply #116 on: January 21, 2009, 04:05:06 PM »

you burn the boxes in your back yard in a huge bonfire and invite the neighbors over for weenie roast and beer.


what is redneck about that-------- It is called a weenie roast------ :cheer:
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Wattle
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« Reply #117 on: January 22, 2009, 01:32:30 AM »



You use your Tenckhoff catheter as a Margarita port.
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PKD
June 2005 Commenced PD Dialysis
July 13th 2009 Cadaveric 5/6 Antigen Match Transplant from my Special Angel
twirl
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« Reply #118 on: January 22, 2009, 04:19:42 AM »



You use your Tenckhoff catheter as a Margarita port.


oh that is so cute and so true
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okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #119 on: January 22, 2009, 01:17:07 PM »


Just read this whole thread through again - it just cracks me up.

Missing the King of Rednecks, Flip. He shore was funny.
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Chris
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« Reply #120 on: February 07, 2009, 03:16:28 AM »

I'll have to reread it all again.
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Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
twirl
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Posts: 8960


« Reply #121 on: February 07, 2009, 05:59:46 AM »

flipbob   you know you are a red neck dialysis patient if your name has a bob after it     flipbob
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okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #122 on: March 22, 2009, 11:20:54 AM »

 :bump; :popcorn;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
mikey07840
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Her royal highness Queen Ruth on her throne, RIP

« Reply #123 on: March 29, 2009, 05:44:30 AM »



You use your Tenckhoff catheter as a Margarita port.


oh that is so cute and so true

Uh oh. Are all y'all not supposed to do that? I use mine to down vodka and orange juice the "quick way."
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06/85 Diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes
10/04 Radical Nephrectomy (Kidney Cancer or renal cell carcinoma)
02/08 Started Hemodialysis
04/08 Started Peritoneal Dialysis (CAPD)
05/08 Started CCPD (my cycler: The little box of alarms)
07/09 AV Fistula and Permacath added, PD catheter removed. PD discontinued and Hemodialysis resumed
08/09 AV Fistula redone higher up on arm, first one did not work
07/11 Mass found on remaining kidney
08/11 Radical Nephrectomy, confirmed that mass was renal cell carcinoma
12/12 Whipple, mass on pancreas confirmed as renal cell carcinoma

• Don't Knock on Death's door; Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that.

• I'm not a complete Idiot -- some parts are missing.
twirl
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« Reply #124 on: March 29, 2009, 07:08:12 AM »

mikey    that is the same thing Flipbob would do    he loved his vodka    :clap;
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