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Author Topic: Hate This And Being The Baddie  (Read 71 times)
PrimeTimer
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« on: March 24, 2020, 11:31:15 PM »

Because of Covid-19 we are having to stay at home. This means my husband is more tempted to drink water or chew on more ice, drink more coffee, etc. The kitchen faucet is a huge temptation. I feel terrible that he has to limit his fluid intake and right now, he's not doing a good job of it. Being thirsty has got to be one of the cruelest things a person on dialysis has to suffer. I know firsthand just from watching my husband suffer. But I warn him and warn him. He's usually pretty good about it but not right now. He is fluid overloaded and now suffering the effects of that. They've scheduled him for an extra treatment tomorrow. Thank goodness! But I warned him about this and it makes me mad. I'm mad at the whole situation really.....CV19, dialysis, having to be the baddie and remind him to not drink too much water. I hate sounding like a nag and being the baddie. We argue about it. I hate this. I've got issues myself and having an O2 tube up my nose doesn't help. And then I have to be the baddie and tell hubby to stop drinking so much dang water as if I'm the wicked witch of the west. The ill effects and danger of him being fluid overloaded scare the crap out of me. I wish he could understand. Being the baddie really sucks. 
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Husband has ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his carepartner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
MooseMom
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« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2020, 08:17:08 AM »

I'm sorry you have been put in this position, PT.  It must be frustrating and frightening.  I find that if I'm unduly anxious, I get really thirsty, and I am wondering if your husband's visceral reaction to the covid pandemic is one of fear, and drinking more provides some comfort.  I know people "comfort eat"; might he be "comfort drinking"?  I know that sounds silly, but it has happened to me (and I notice myself drinking a lot of water these days).

I hope he is able to resist temptation.  Being the baddie sucks, but baddies can save lives!
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
UkrainianTracksuit
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« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2020, 07:37:23 PM »

OK, I am so confused here.  :lol; Is a baddie a person that is bad or something? Lays down the law? I ask just because I have acquaintances that call themselves "baddies" but they mean they are hot, sexy, girls who are cool and hustle. Pea Tea, you are probably that kind of baddie too but it's just a little out of context.  :lol;

You are doing the responsible thing as a caring wife. If he doesn't want to listen, well, he doesn't want to listen. If he wants to avert the nagging and the fights, HE KNOWS what HE has to do. The sort of information that was drilled in his head from the beginning. It just strikes me as so odd that he knows the repercussions and ignores wise advice. A part of me wants to put on my psych hat and see it as lashing out at losing control in the current context, so, it's like, "don't tell me what to do, I'll drink if I want to, and it feels good!"

As well, I second the whole feeling anxious = thirsty.

It has got to the point of an extra dialysis session. Here is hoping that is all he needs for a wake up call and get back to normal.
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PrimeTimer
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« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2020, 04:19:54 AM »

Thanks MM and UT. He's never fluid overloaded so it caught me off guard. Because of being at home and losing income he's super stressed. I hadn't considered that the stress alone would make him feel so dry. I know anxiety sure does. On the bright side they did at least quickly schedule that extra treatment. They only removed fluid (did UF). Poor guy, today is his third day in a row. I'm so worried for him, for us...for everybody! And then I've got 'roid rage. Was on 60mg of Prednisone, now back down to 20. Have Sarcoidosis with scarring on my right lung, two calcified pulmonary lymph glands, lots of granulomas, nodules and scarring in my spleen of all places and the Sarc rash on my legs and feet and my voice still sounds funny from being on that ventilator. The Prednisone is helping but I am verrry moody and on edge with all this "stay at home" stuff and CV19. I'm gonna get a grip tho.    8)
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Husband has ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his carepartner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
UkrainianTracksuit
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« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2020, 05:45:34 AM »

Pea Tea, you are so used to being a caretaker, but some things have changed now. I mean this not as a way to victimize you (you are no victim!) but you are a patient with special needs now too. It's completely normal to feel this concerned and overwhelmed in any such situation. In fact, I would check the pulse of someone that didn't act as you did/do with all that you deal with as well as caring for someone on dialysis. He's a big boy so hopefully he has learned his lesson as I cannot imagine wanting to do extra dialysis! (Had extra sessions once because my access wasn't working and it blew.)

You don't need to get a grip. You need to just decide where to expend energy. And if all else fails, still blame the prednisone.
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