Sad anniversary today

[Jill D.]

One year ago today, we lost my wonderful cousin, Bob, to ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). Bob was only 46 years old, and left behind a wife and five sons. He was diagnosed in August 2003 and died May 1, 2006. Bob was the greatest guy you would ever meet. He was a firefighter/paramedic and helped people in his job and his every day life. On his off days he had a roofing business, and he and my husband worked on roofing jobs together and became very close over the years.

For many years Bob and his wife, Tina, owned 40 acres of wooded property where they intended to build their "dream house". The years rolled by, children were born, and the time never seemed right to build. After Bob was diagnosed, he told my husband, Jim, that he wanted to get his house built before the disease took him. Jim decided to be the general contractor (he has his builder's license) so he could be Bob's voice and hands when Bob no longer could use either. Jim wanted to be sure the house was built the way Bob wanted. Jim volunteered his labor and skills, and the house was built with mostly volunteers from our church and firefighters. It took 1 1/2 years to build, but it was truly Bob and Tina's dreamhouse....3000 square foot ranch, set back on the property behind a tree line, with the back looking over one of the two ponds on the property. They were able to move into the house in Aug. 2005; it was a blessing for Bob to be able to see his dream house and to live there with his family for 8 months.

Bob was able to walk and talk (with a slur) when the house was started in Feb. 2004; by Dec. 2004 he was in a wheelchair and had lost the ability to talk, but still had limited movement in his arms. By Feb. 2005 he had a wheelchair that he could control with slight movements of his head and had a computer that he used by having a laser dot on his nose. He never complained throughout this ordeal and never lost his sense of humor or caring for others. In fact, he was very upset when he learned I needed a kidney transplant - he wanted to be tested as a donor! For his entire life, even when we were kids, Bob knew more about nature than any one I knew. He could name every plant, animal, bug, tree, etc. He kept bees at the property and made honey for many years. He also had planted an orchard of fruit trees, and the year the house was started he bought baby turkeys and tried to teach his boys how to raise them. (This added a bit more work for my husband, as the boys really didn't "get into" caring for the turkeys and Bob couldn't do it by himself!) Anyway, many people had fresh turkeys for Thanksgiving that year!

Bob was the favorite cousin for me, my brothers, and the rest of my cousins. He was closer to my parents than he was to his own parents. I still can't believe he is gone; it seems like the last 2 1/2 years we had with him went by in a blur.

The firefighters had a dinner in his honor at the station tonight; Tina and the boys are doing OK, but it is very hard for her because Bob did so much when he was well (we always called her the "princess" - she had the babies and he took care of them!) Please pray for Tina, Ben, Tom, Dan, Sam and Joe. We all miss Bob terribly, but for Tina and the boys life will never be the same.

Thanks so much for letting me give this "eulogy" and share my story and memories of someone I loved dearly.

[Yonanamama]

Jill:
What an amazingly eloquent tribute to someone who was obviously cherished by all who knew him.  So sad, it seems that those who deserve the most from life and  make us all better people for just knowing them are taken so soon.  With tears in my eyes I am giving you a HUGE hug and sincere thanks for sharing Bob's story with us.  You are in my thoughts!
Debbie

[kitkatz]

Wow! What nice thoughts for a special man.

[goofynina]

My prayers are with his family Jill, he sounds like an amazing man.  Thank you for sharing him with all of us. 

[Rerun]

Jill it sounds like kindness, intelligences and generosity runs in the family.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Tina and the boys have a long road a head of them and I'm sure Bob is watching from above.

[Joe Paul]

I like to think people like this are building a mansion for the loved ones in heaven. Prayers to you, the family & the Firefighters.

[Sara]

I'm sorry for your family's loss.  He sounds like he was a great guy,and like anyone would be honored to know him.   

[st789]

What a legacy he leaves behind.  Great Man.

[nextnoel]

I'm sorry such a great man was lost - the world needs more like hiim; thanks for sharing.

[Ohio Buckeye]

That is sad.
I feel for his family.

[kelliOR]

Dear Jill,

Bob sounds like a remarkable man.  He must be incredibly missed.  Thank You for sharing a part of his life with us.

Hugs, Kelli

[paris]

Jill, you seem to have a lot of heros in your family.  Of course, you are one of mine.  Sounds like he was a remarkable man.

[Jill D.]

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words. I was so proud of my husband as he was out working on the house every day, even Saturdays, and would often be out there until late at night, just him and Bob, spending time together. It wasn't always easy because he didn't make any income for a year and a half, and I am in commissioned sales and 2003 was my worst year ever but we had great support from our family and church. During the last 6 months the house was being built there would often be days when Jim and Bob were the only ones there, so Jim would be working on the house and taking care of Bob. He would have to feed Bob through his feeding tube, put him on the toilet, and be patient while Bob explained (by spelling words S L O W L Y on his computer with the laser dot on his nose) how he wanted certain things done, who needed to be called, how to pay, etc. It was love in the purest, most beautiful way imaginable. When people would comment to Jim about what a wonderful thing he was doing, he would just say "it was no less than what Bob would do if the situation were reversed." A true statement - they were like 2 peas in a pod.

[Sluff]

This is what can happen when Love controls your heart. Two great men. Thanks for sharing this wonderful memory with us Jill.

[Bajanne]

I only just came upon this post.  Thank you so much for sharing this with us.  In a world with so much that disgusts us these days, this stands out like a breath of pure fresh air - love, courage, determination, sacrifice, strength, and did I say love?
Thanks again and again.