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Author Topic: Bully Nurse.. what do I do?  (Read 1126 times)
Riki
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« on: March 03, 2019, 04:28:44 PM »

I'm not sure if this is the place to talk about this, but I figure if anyone would know what I should do, it's you guys.

I have an issue with one of the dialysis nurses.  It's been ongoing for a few years now.  She has this pick on me, and I don't know why.  She argues and disagrees with me on everything.  If I told her that the sky was blue, she would argue with me that it was pink.  She does small things against policy just because she knows it'll piss me off.  It's nothing that will really hurt anything, it's just against the routine.  One day, I came in and the machine was on the wrong side of the chair.  I told her that it needed to be moved.  Any other nurse would have said, "yeah, okay" and moved the machine.  Not her.  She told me that it was new policy and that the machines couldn't be moved.  When I told her that was bullsh*t, she got mad at me over the language. 

Another thing that she does, against policy, is take my needles out before I've done a standing blood pressure.  My pressure has a tendancy to drop, so this NEEDS to be done before the needles come out in case I need some extra saline.  She always pulls the needles before I have a chance to say anything to her.  She knows this needs to be done first, but she still pulls the needles every time.

On Friday, she did this again.  This time, she wouldn't let me hold the sites myself, at least, not at first.  She said it was because they were bleeding, but when I took the bandages off there was hardly any blood on them.  She was holding so tight, not just with her fingers on the sites, but with her thumb on my arm, that she was hurting me, and I said so.  This is when she let me take over holding.  I looked yesterday, and there was a bruise on my arm where her thumb had been.  After I was finished holding, since I hadn't had a standing pressure, and I don't know how to work the machine (I also don't want to know how, I don't want them putting their work on me) I called to her to come and take the blood pressure.  She was talking to the other nurse who was on, and when I called her name, she stopped for a second, then continued on with her conversation.  She did this twice.  She was less than 15 feet away, and if I'd had a balled up piece of paper, I could have hit her with it.  That's saying something, considering that I'm visually impaired and don't have that great an aim.  After she ignored me the second time, I took the blood pressure cuff off and left.  I walked right past her and she never moved.  I can't read the scale either, so I need someone else to take the reading off it.  I waited next to the scale for 5 minutes before they even noticed I'd left.  I was about to start putting my boots and jacket on just as someone came out to help me with the scale.  So, on Friday, I left without a standing blood pressure, and almost without and end weight.

This isn't the first time that I left without a standing pressure, which makes me wonder what she puts in the chart when she ignores me.  BUT the last straw was the bruise on my arm.  I don't know why she wouldn't let me hold my own sites until after I told her she was hurting me.

I know I need to report her, I just don't know who to.  I'm on the evening shift, so all the administrative people are gone before I get there.  I'm afraid that one night I'm going to go off on her and the report will be that I am verbally abusive, when it's her doing all these little things that set me off.  As far as I can tell, she doesn't do this to anyone else, just to me, and she's even laughed about arguing with me.  She thinks it's funny.  I think it's a form of bullying, but I don't know what to do about it.

Any thoughts?
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Michael Murphy
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« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2019, 07:21:43 PM »

Do not let her work on you, ask for a different nurse or tech,  if neccessary speak to clinic manager.  Also get a photo of the bruise.  Note that you are not getting a standing BP tell your nephrologist and clinic manager.  Several of the people on my shift only allow certain people to canulate them.
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kitkatz
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« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2019, 09:23:47 PM »

Take this post you have written here and turn it into a letter asking that she not be allowed to touch you in the future.  You  re willing to wait for someone else to be available to work with you.  You do not have to put up with bad treatment from anyone in the center.  Give it to the charge nurse with a word that it needs to go to the center big wig person.  REPORT HER!   :Kit n Stik; :Kit n Stik;
« Last Edit: March 03, 2019, 09:25:35 PM by kitkatz » Logged



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cassandra
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« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2019, 05:24:09 AM »

I agree with Michael Murphy and Kitkatz. This is unacceptable.


Good luck, and strength, Cas




NB this IS the perfect place to post this  :laugh:
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
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Charlie B53
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« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2019, 05:01:06 AM »


Ditto all the above.

She is risking your health by her Neglect.

Go over her head.  You have the Right to Refuse to let her treatment and the Clinic has the Responsibility to switch Tech/Nurse.
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Riki
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« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2019, 08:29:52 AM »

There are only 2 nurses on for the evening shift, usually, because of the nurse to patient ratio, so it's hard to say that one shouldn't work on me.  Thankfully, she wasn't there yesterday, but she was probably at home with her kids because it was a  tstorm day.  I have an email address for the head nurse to send her stuff from Davita for my trip, so I might just email her and tell her what's been going on and see what she says
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GA_DAWG
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« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2019, 09:08:40 AM »

Definitely put it in writing so you have a paper trail. Also, report it not only to the charge nurse and director, but also send it up the chain directly to Davita. By applying too much pressure she is not only causing you pain, she is putting at risk your fistula. The Drs at the vascular center have told me one of the biggest causes of clots and other problems is too much pressure applied to the fistula or graft causing it to squeeze shut.
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Riki
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« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2019, 12:49:27 PM »

Davita doesn't own my centre.  I'm in Canada, so my centre is in a government run hospital. *G*

I'm working with Davita on a placement for when I go to Philadelphia in July, which is why I have the head nurses' email, so I can send her anything they send me.

I think the majority of what this nurse does, she does because she knows it bugs me, like a bully.  This is the first time she's ever done anything to cause me injury
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Michael Murphy
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« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2019, 01:45:09 PM »

The need to deal with this is that if a bully enjoys bullying you you canít be the only victim, this type of slime does this crap to either enjoy peopleís pain or some deluded sense of entitlement.  You stop adult bullies by shinning a light on them.  Stop it from treating you and itís one step in the string of exposing this sick individual.  These creatures thrive in the dark step. On them
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iolaire
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« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2019, 07:25:02 AM »

Riki, sorry I think you are in sensitive place given you are treated by a small team and probably don't have other treatment location options should this one sour.  My worry for you is that if you escalate it and you are not believed or supported by the head nurse is that you will still need to receive treatment by the other nurse and you might face even more care issues.

Once suggestion is rather than a complaint instead ask the head nurse for a meeting with the head nurse, the nurse you have concerns about and you to talk about your case.  That would allow you all to discuss your care concerns before things get out of hand.  Stress that you its probably miss communication or not intentional on the nurses part - and that is the reason you'd like to talk it over.  With the main message being you would like to be able to talk about it in a safe place and try to resolve your concerns before it gets to a point where you need to file a formal complaint. 

That would give the team sort of an out to address your concerns diplomatically without it becoming a formal complaint.  And it leaves you with the formal complaint should things not get addressed.

And well all that happens document your concerns each treatment, take photos of the bruising etc...
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« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2019, 05:22:12 PM »

I can only say: This is your life. She needs to treat you with respect and dignity. I do understand you want someone else to treat you and I would visit the clinic director and tell her you do not want this nurse treating you again.

 :Kit n Stik; She is a bully.
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GA_DAWG
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« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2019, 11:12:47 AM »

As suggested above, I would put this in writing and send it to EVERYBODY I could think of. I know the bruise is worrisome, but the greater damage possible is that by holding the site too tightly, she could cause it to clot. The people at the vascular center have told me that is maybe the leading cause of clots they see.
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Riki
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« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2019, 08:41:01 PM »

I exploded one night, and unloaded all of this on another of the nurses, one that I trust.  Since then, the bully nurse has not been my nurse, and for a while she wouldn't talk to me.  She still doesn't really talk to me, but she will say hello to me when I come into the unit and she is cordial if I need her help with anything.  Problem solved, for now anyway.
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Michael Murphy
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« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2019, 03:28:32 AM »

Again Yay You.  Graduate and bully repelled in a short time.   Bullies do not survive in a reputable place with a light shown on them.  Like the lowlife vermin under a rock they scurry away when the rock is turned and day light hits them.  Good job for yourself and for other potential victims.
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GA_DAWG
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« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2019, 09:30:43 AM »

I agree with Michael. Most bullies do not enjoy having someone stand up to them. They would prefer to find someone else they can bully who will stay silent.
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cassandra
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« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2019, 09:43:23 AM »

Well done you!!! :thumbup;

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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
kitkatz
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« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2019, 07:02:43 PM »

Great plan and implementation.  You could have used my stick! :Kit n Stik; :Kit n Stik;
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
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