Giveth And Taketh Away

[PrimeTimer]

My husband just got fired from his job. It's going to be a crappy Christmas. We're not going to tell family yet. No sense in bringing them down during the holidays. Seems like all we ever have is bad news so we're not going to tell them about it this time. We are both down about all this but we know there are others who have it a lot harder and worse than we do. There are people out there who are really suffering. Some need help and that's what we can still do -help in some way. We can still give of ourselves in some way. We do and we did. Amazing how good that feels. Not all is lost, we still have "IT" in ourselves.

[Charlie B53]

Have Faith, that when one door closes another better door opens.

I will keep you both in my Prayers.

From what I gather from your prior postings your Husband may be better off registering an LLC an Consult for his previous clients.

It may be worth looking into.   Insurance may cost.  Do your homework and get advise from a reputable CPA, possibly also an atty.

[cassandra]

O PT  I'm very sorry to hear that. I believe in Charlie's When one door closes another door will open. Wishing you nothing less than better luck, and strength, and keep holding on to that 'it'.


Lots of love, Cas

[UkrainianTracksuit]

Though I know you barely from behind a screen, by this post, I can tell you are wonderful people. 

Again, I am very sorry for what has happened but I truly believe that things will rebound since your husband is highly qualified (and in demand.) It must be so stressful to have dialysis considerations on top of all of this.

Sometimes during this season, we (as in general society) get a little whipped up over ourselves, our needs, what we have and what we don't but, it costs nothing to give time or an open heart. The fact you have said this in such a sad time radiates immense respect. (at least from me...)

[Michael Murphy]

In 2004 I was laid off from AT&T after 34 years, only place I had worked in my entire life.  It was at the start of the massive outsourcing of jobs to India.   Since outsourcing was a big deal about 30 thousand jobs a month were being sent overseas, finding work was next to impossible.  After a year I got a similar job at the city of New York, after 3 years I was again outsourced and laid off.  Just as my unemployment benefits were due to run out was hired by HP to work at the Fed Reserve.  Stayed there till I finally retired on disability.  My take away from this is ration your money, and keep looking I do know for a fact AT&T and NYC both regret terminating me.  Good luck,  tell hubb the only mistake he made was working for idiots.

[MooseMom]

PT, I pray that you and your husband find some peace very soon.   

I am very sorry that this has happened. 

Suffering is not a contest.  Yes, there are people who have it worse than you do, but on a day to day practical basis, that's no real consolation, nor should it be.

I hope the "Giveth" bit comes very soon for you both.

[Simon Dog]

"Is in demand" and "highly skilled" are vague platitudes to someone who is an older worker and faces rampant age discrimination in the hiring process.   Just try getting a tech job if you are over 60 and see how "in demand" you are and how much you "skills" are valued.   Yes, it happens, but stories of people in that situation trying for several years with no bites are common.

One has to realistically assess the market for one's skills given one's current age and make plans according to a realistic assessment of the situation, not the encouragement of people who may not know about how things work in your industry (no matter what it happens to be).

[UkrainianTracksuit]

Simon Dog, your nitpicking of my comments on here is really getting obvious now.  I only mentioned on demand and highly skilled in regard to the previous posts made by Prime Timer on other posts on the same topic. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have said empty platitudes.

Age discrimination works the other way also. Try getting a job in forensic economics (yes, the field exists) and under age 45 to 50.

[KimberlyG86]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and tough times. I know little could give you comfort at this time, but just know the tide will turn and things will get better. It sounds like you have a close family and together you guys will get through this. Stay positive. Holler if you need anything!

[Simon Dog]

Age discrimination works the other way also. Try getting a job in forensic economics (yes, the field exists) and under age 45 to 50.

Interesting.

One of the things I admire about the professions of Law and Medicine is that age is often seen as wisdom, not "over the hill, can we hire someone younger cheaper?".

[cassandra]

I didn't bother checking the US but in the UK both law and medicine have national bodies which controle qualfications, study places, memberships (without membership not allowed to practice etc) No doubt these institutions will have an average age way above 50, and probably a good guess that the variety in surnames is less than 20.

[UkrainianTracksuit]

Definitely in my field, it's an "age is wisdom" component. Many qualified people openly share they have 25 to 30+ years of experience, after education, and this works for their benefit. Not only is it a case of numbers but the wisdom to critically and logically come to decisions, that only experience can teach. It's also a male dominated field, which I'm fine with, but in the era of #MeToo, there are further concerns over hiring young women. (But that's another issue for another thread and time.) And really, I would never claim to have to have the knowledge or wisdom of someone doing this for decades than my "handful of years" experience. So, I am just happy when I get employed... PhD, extra classes and all...

[Michael Murphy]

When I was laid off in 2004 it took 2 years to get a job, when I finally retired in 2015 after I began to receive multiple job offers from head hunters.  It took almost 3 years for the calls to stop.  Tight job market experience counts a lot.  These offers were despite my over 63 years of age.  Competence really counts when there is a skill shortage.

[Simon Dog]

When I was laid off in 2004 it took 2 years to get a job, when I finally retired in 2015 after I began to receive multiple job offers from head hunters.  It took almost 3 years for the calls to stop.  Tight job market experience counts a lot.  These offers were despite my over 63 years of age.  Competence really counts when there is a skill shortage.

Interesting.   Where I come from head hunters do not make job offers, but approach candidates and work to set up interviews with hiring companies and are paid by the hiring firm once the candidate is on the job.

[Michael Murphy]

Your right my history is 4 interviews 4 jobs, so I still should have been more accurate.

[kristina]

My husband just got fired from his job. It's going to be a crappy Christmas. We're not going to tell family yet. No sense in bringing them down during the holidays. Seems like all we ever have is bad news so we're not going to tell them about it this time. We are both down about all this but we know there are others who have it a lot harder and worse than we do. There are people out there who are really suffering. Some need help and that's what we can still do -help in some way. We can still give of ourselves in some way. We do and we did. Amazing how good that feels. Not all is lost, we still have "IT" in ourselves.

Dear PrimeTimer, I just want to tell you that I am thinking of you and your husband and I do hope, good luck comes along for you very soon. I send you my best wishes and keep my fingers crossed for you.
All the best wishes from Kristina.

[PrimeTimer]

My husband had several interviews this past week and one offer letter. He accepted. He starts his new job next week. I am so proud of him because despite being on dialysis and being extremely stressed out and depressed from losing his job, he got right back out there and found another one. He is my hero. He's also a smart man, very very good at his job and well liked. Clients that dealt with him thru his last company have already been calling, wanting to know where to send their requests. Since his last employer did not have a non-compete disclosure and so stupidly fired him, you bet, he's going to peel off some of their clients.

His new employer is a smaller company so hopefully offer a more traditional health insurance plan aka "fully insured". His last employer was a very large company (over 50k employees) and was self-insured, meaning they directly paid all the insurance claims while paying Aetna to administer the plan and handle the paperwork. With a more traditional plan where the insurance pays the claims opposed to the employer paying, I think there is less risk of being fired for costing the company too much in claims. It's hard enough for a person on dialysis that can and WANTS to work but even harder to KEEP a job without worrying about being fired for costing the company too much.

[Michael Murphy]

Way to go, remember after 33 month on dialysis you must change to Medicare,  this switch greatly reduces the cost for insurance companies by a factor of 5.   Check out the company insurance carefully,  so plans fo not reward you for the switch to Medicare in fact they penalize you.  I was getting hit for 800 a month for 6 months since the company plan at my wife’s company required a large deductible before it picked up the full Medicare cost.  It turned out my wife’s company was offering a enhanced Medicare HMO package that had better than Medicaid benefits.  I now pay 160 to Medicare, and 370 for the Medicare HMO.  When I had 3 heart procedures I was not billed a dime.  Emergency room, doctors visits no copays.  I like the fixed known expense every month.  I also chose the most expensive package offered. But it allowed me to have 3 very expensive operations and 2 weeks in the hospital with out worrying about cost.

[Charlie B53]

When Wife went Blind and had to quit work since she was over 65 already on Medicare Part A I got her started on Part B and found  a Part G Medigap through Mutual of Omaha.  NO Co-pays unless it is one of those few things not covered by Medicare.  Cost $154 Month for Part G.  If available it can be a great thing.
Glad to hear he has already fouond another position.

Like I posted earlier, When one door closes......

[MooseMom]

I am so pleased for you both, PrimeTimer!  This is great news and a brilliant way to start the new year!

[cassandra]

Fantastic news PT !!!!!!


             


Lots of love, luck and strength, Cas

[PrimeTimer]

Thanks everyone for all the well wishes and suggestions. We're taking notes and comparing. The issue of insurance is pretty stressful by itself and now hubby has the stress of starting over at a new job. He's relaxing today tho, out shopping for a new book. He loves the bookstore and the feel of a book. He doesn't care for Kindle or anything online. Guess you could say he's old fashioned. He enjoys the thrill of the hunt at a good bookstore and I know this so I don't go with him on these outings. Better to let him enjoy something on his own every once in awhile. We all need an escape. His is the bookstore.


We didn't tell anyone (other than you guys) about his job situation. We didn't want to bring the family down or hear their lectures, especially during the holidays. Besides, our families are too self-centered to care let alone understand what it's like for hubby to be on dialysis and deal with a job/loss of a job. They never will "get it". I am convinced that they are completely incapable of thinking about anyone but themselves. I get tired of it (them). Their lives play out like a boring soap opera and we get tired of hearing about it. If someone in hubby's family insults another family member (which they often do), then that member gets on the phone and tells another member and so on and so on or they air each other's dirty laundry at the weekly dinner table. I don't know if this is an Italian thing or if it is just them but honestly, I do not know why they even have dinner together because it is no secret that they all hate each other's guts....but oh, how they love to get on the phone and tell you about it! Geez. No joke, here's how the most recent scene went:


Hubby's phone rings. He answers it. It's his dad. Before he can say hello he hears "Your sister invited me to play golf. Well, we weren't even in nine holes when she started in on me again. So I packed up my clubs and went back to my car. Gotta go! Bye!"  *click*  WTH??? So hubby wanted to make a run to the bookstore today. After the week he's had, he deserves it! I just pray he didn't take his phone with him...   

[Mr Ken]

They never will "get it". I am convinced that they are completely incapable of thinking about anyone but themselves. I get tired of it (them). Their lives play out like a boring soap opera and we get tired of hearing about it. If someone in hubby's family insults another family member (which they often do), then that member gets on the phone and tells another member and so on and so on or they air each other's dirty laundry at the weekly dinner table. I don't know if this is an Italian thing ...........

It is  an Italian thing........  Family was the same way almost.. Years with the no contact cold treatment.. All of them gone now but had I been older back then I think I would have whacked them in the head and said these are the house rules. You want to be a dick around here I will cut it off!

[Michael Murphy]

Hubby will begin to relax after he starts his job, the first day on a new job is again stressful,  I was laid off in 2004 from a job I had for 34 years, this was in the beginning of the great migration of tech work to India 30000 jobs a month were being exported in computer system support.  It took 2 years to find another job luckily I had a large severance check to tide me over just as the money ran out I found a job.  Thank God.   It sounds like you hubby is the type who has mastered his job,  quality in employees always stands out. 

[justagirl2325]

Hubby will begin to relax after he starts his job, the first day on a new job is again stressful,  I was laid off in 2004 from a job I had for 34 years, this was in the beginning of the great migration of tech work to India 30000 jobs a month were being exported in computer system support.  It took 2 years to find another job luckily I had a large severance check to tide me over just as the money ran out I found a job.  Thank God.   It sounds like you hubby is the type who has mastered his job,  quality in employees always stands out.

Lol it's definitely an Italian thing.

Congrats on the new job for your hubby.