Some People Should Be Barred From eBay For Their Own Good.

[Paul]

Came back from the psychiatrists on Tuesday feeling really, really depressed. I'm sure that is not the way it is supposed to work! Decided to try my own anti depression therapy, but that therapy involves beer, and my liquid limit does not allow me enough beer to get thoroughly therapised. So decided to try that "retail therapy" that other people rave about.

Hit eBay and bid on a lot of stuff from China (really cheap if you buy direct from China, instead of via an importer - although perhaps not now in America thanks to your president's tariffs). Most of this stuff was ornamental - carved jade, opal, silver, and a nice carved wooden dragon. But I also bid on a couple of amazing items from China

Firstly a set of dinosaur eggs. These are often fake, but I know these are genuine because they are guaranteed, absolutly guaranteed (or your money back) to hatch out into baby dinosaurs.

You cannot say fairer than that.

And second amazing thing I bid on is a genuine fossilized dragon's heart. Those are really rare. Must be, because you don't see many dragon's these days do you?

Amazing the great genuine stuff you can get on eBay, isn't it?

[cassandra]

Wow Paul that's amazing, FANTASTIC!!! And a real dragons heart!!! And eggs too!!! Did you win?
How are you feeling now?


   

[Paul]

Did you win?

Auctions end Monday. (Although one of the more serious auctions ended and I got a nice jade and silver pendant for a pound.)

How are you feeling now?

Gullible.

[cassandra]

Just think of all the nice things you can do with that pendant!!! You could give it to someone you care about. That is supposed to make you feel less depressed Paul.
And then there's Monday's chance of a big win still to come!!! Is it the dragon?


How big is your place? With the dinosaur eggs surely hatching?


Love, Cas
 

[Charlie B53]

Oh, Oh, OH!!!!


I wanna Dinosaur too!

Do they have more than just those two eggs?

Maybe I should up the bid.

I got 3 acres so I should have enough room for at least their first couple of years.

Did they say what kind?

I don't suposse you'd give me that ink?

If I said "Please!"


Oh, hard liquer works far better than beer.  Doesn't take near as much 'fluid'.

[Paul]

Just think of all the nice things you can do with that pendant!!

It is a silver Phoenix on a jade disk, actually bought it because I collect small items of oriental art (even mass produced items like this).

You could give it to someone you care about. That is supposed to make you feel less depressed Paul.

I don't actually like human beings, being nice to them makes me feel more depressed. I suppose I could achieve the effect you suggest by giving it to a dog (I like dogs) but I have never known a dog who collects jade pendants.

[Paul]

I wanna Dinosaur too!

Do they have more than just those two eggs?

Maybe I should up the bid.

I got 3 acres so I should have enough room for at least their first couple of years.

Did they say what kind?

I don't suposse you'd give me that ink?

If I said "Please!"

There are lots of Chinese people selling these dinosaur eggs on the British eBay. There used to be lots of Chinese people selling stuff on the US eBay, however I have not checked recently, but the reason there was so many of them is that they could sell cheaper than local retailers. And since Trump has put really high tariffs on most Chinese imports, I doubt this works anymore. So most or all of these dealers will have stopped listing on eBay USA.

So if you want dinosaur eggs you will probably have to buy them on eBay Canada or eBay Mexico, and smuggle them across the border.

[Paul]

Do they have more than just those two eggs?

I've actually bid on a set of six eggs, and my thinking is this: In Britain out biggest turkey farmer/wholesaler is Bernard Matthews (or his company now, as he died a few years ago). He started off when he saw a cheap incubator at an auction, and bought it on impulse. Then he then bought half a dozen turkey eggs, hatched and grew them in his small apartment before selling them at a good profit. From then on he developed the business so that long before he died he was the biggest turkey farmer in the country. But the problem with turkey farming in Britain is that most British people only eat turkey on Christmas day (and after that for however long the stupidly big turkey they bought for Christmas takes to finish off). So to extend his selling period to the other 364 days of the year, Mr Matthews created several turkey based frozen convenience food items, that people would eat all year round. One of these items is "turkey dinosaurs", pieces of processed turkey meat shaped like dinosaurs and covered in breadcrumbs.

My idea, as like him I have six eggs, is to do the same thing. But I intend to cut out the middle man, instead of frozen turkeys shaped like dinosaurs covered in breadcrumbs, I'm going to market real frozen dinosaurs covered in breadcrumbs. Now admittedly, you are going to need a sodding big freezer if you are going to put a breadcrumb covered tyrannosaurus rex in it, but maybe I could make even more money by also setting up a business selling sodding big freezers.

See, I've thought this thing through, it is not just a stupid impulse buy, it is a bright new future for me!

[kickingandscreaming]

Sounds like a lot of my "brilliant" schemes over the years.  I'm still not rich.