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Charlie B53
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« on: February 22, 2017, 06:03:33 AM »


I asked if there was any news about Martin, the guy that usually was seated next to me as I haven't seen him for almost 10 days.  Last week when I asked I was told "oh, he is in the hospital."  I know Martin is narcoleptic and falls asleep almost mid=sentence sometimes.  I worried as he always drove himself to treatments.

Wednesday two weeks ago he was particularly 'tired' falling asleep and difficult to awake when his treatment was finished.  I am pretty sure the Nurse called his son to come pick him up that he didn't seem able to drive home.  Next thing I know I find out he had went into the Hospital.

When I asked again today the Tech's response was "Oh, Martin died." and walked off.

Seems like she didn't have much, if any, feelings at all.  When she came around next I told her that I had the carburetor of Martins very old outboard motor, that he was to bring me in all the I.D. numbers  off that old motor so I could look up and find a correct diaphragm to rebuild it and make it functional again. I need to find out from Martin's Son what he wants me to do.  She told me to just bring it into the Clinic, that they would return it to the Son.

I guess all I can do it write a note and put it in the container, let the Son know I'm Sorry for the loss of his Father.  That when he is ready if he wants to finish restoring that old motor, which should be a collectors item by now, to give me a call.

I don't think I could be a Tech.  I get too attached to people too easily.  Losing a Patient would be a problem for me.

It sure doesn't seem to bother some of these Tech's.  Maybe they see it as one LESS set-up and run they have to do?

Rest in Peace Martin.
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Kathymac2
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« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2017, 06:48:21 AM »

I'm pre-dialysis with a buried PD catheter, but what you are describing is one of the main reasons that in-center hemodialysis would be my last choice of treatment types. I just would have a very hard time watching people I have gotten to know over time declining and in some cases dying, especially knowing I am in a similar situation health wise.

You seem like a people person, Charlie. Not everyone is and that's OK.  When it becomes a problem is when (like the tech) a non-people person has a job that requires both technical and inter-personal skills. It's hard to watch  the lack of empathy. 

I'm sorry for your loss.

K.
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Jean
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« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2017, 11:59:47 AM »


I couldn't do it either Charlie. I get attached to people so easily. I live in a senior mobile home park and I am co-chairman of the memorial committee. Its a tough job setting up the services for someone you chatted with and laughed with and now you are putting tablecloths on the tables for their memorial. Every time we have one, I swear I am going to quit, but I never do. Somebody has to do it. May your friend Rest in peace.
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kristina
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« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2017, 12:55:34 PM »


Hello Charlie,
To be honest, I could not be a tech either. In fact, I very much doubt that I could be useful in any medical field, because for starters, I can’t see or look at any blood without getting very wobbly, unsteady feet and ... whenever I see anyone in pain, I iinstantly suffer with them ... But at one time I surprised myself whilst I was shopping and saw a stranger in the distance collapsing toward the pavement in – what looked like - an epileptic fit - and I instantly "launched myself forward" and made sure I was catching this person in time to prevent them from hurting themselves with their head on the pavement. I caught them in time and held them in my arms whilst I pleaded with other pedestrians for more assistance. Fortunately a few more pedestrians saw what had happened and instantly helped, because this epileptic fit was much too “heavy” for one pedestrian to handle and it took altogether three more people to make sure the epileptic fit could not do any harm to the affected person... But apart from this... I still can’t see any blood and whenever someone suffers, I suffer with them...
 :grouphug;
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Charlie B53
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« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2017, 02:32:12 PM »


Neigbor called me yesterday morning early to tell me a common friend, a very sweet od lady, pasted during the night.

I would bet money it was congestive heart failure.  She had a LOT of water in her.  Legs so massively swollen I gave her a bunch of my support hose I no longer need.  She couldn't get them on, legs too big.

I had talked with her on many occasions about how Dialysis could pull the water off, clearing her lungs, reducing the swelling in her legs.  I doubt if her Dr seriously listened to her, just kept giving her those water pills that failed to take it off.

I was so swollen I was 'leaking' daily.  Dr agreed to get me started even though my kidneys were still at 20% then.  Legs looked almost normal within a week.  That was almost 4 years ago, now at 4%  I am very glad I started as early as I did.

It just sucks to learn of two friends gone within hours.

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Michael Murphy
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« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2017, 05:23:47 PM »

One of the sad facts as one ages so do the people we know.  Past 50 the number of people you know that pass increases each year.  My 92 year old fil doesn't know many people anymore.  Basically it's the great circle of life.  The one thing in centers is the HIPA laws mean the medical people are limited in what they could say,  this has lead to the feature of dialysis in which people just disappear, no one marks their passing its sad.
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Blake nighsonger
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« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2017, 05:43:34 PM »

Sorry Charlie,  the circle of life is so pronounced, in- center. Martin sounds like my friend . we talk Wood Smokers  that's all we talk about ,i went out and bought one.  Take it easy .
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Xplantdad
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« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2017, 08:02:44 PM »


I asked if there was any news about Martin, the guy that usually was seated next to me as I haven't seen him for almost 10 days.  Last week when I asked I was told "oh, he is in the hospital."  I know Martin is narcoleptic and falls asleep almost mid=sentence sometimes.  I worried as he always drove himself to treatments.

Wednesday two weeks ago he was particularly 'tired' falling asleep and difficult to awake when his treatment was finished.  I am pretty sure the Nurse called his son to come pick him up that he didn't seem able to drive home.  Next thing I know I find out he had went into the Hospital.

When I asked again today the Tech's response was "Oh, Martin died." and walked off.

Seems like she didn't have much, if any, feelings at all.  When she came around next I told her that I had the carburetor of Martins very old outboard motor, that he was to bring me in all the I.D. numbers  off that old motor so I could look up and find a correct diaphragm to rebuild it and make it functional again. I need to find out from Martin's Son what he wants me to do.  She told me to just bring it into the Clinic, that they would return it to the Son.

I guess all I can do it write a note and put it in the container, let the Son know I'm Sorry for the loss of his Father.  That when he is ready if he wants to finish restoring that old motor, which should be a collectors item by now, to give me a call.

I don't think I could be a Tech.  I get too attached to people too easily.  Losing a Patient would be a problem for me.

It sure doesn't seem to bother some of these Tech's.  Maybe they see it as one LESS set-up and run they have to do?

Rest in Peace Martin.

Hi Charlie,

Techs, like nurses have to learn to separate their feelings from their job. Cold and callous, maybe...but they, like any other professional that has to deal face to face with the public-and adding in the stress of patients who aren't feeling well and a job that requires the tech to do things exactly right or jeopardize the health of their patients...it takes a special person to be a tech...and be friendly!

When my daughter Holly was a baby and really sick...the nurses that we had when we were in the pediatric intensive care with her the FIRST time (and had become comfortable around) would not be her nurses on subsequent admits, due to them becoming attached to her...and possibly affecting their care for Holly. That was a real eye opener for us...and we were lucky enough to have a veteran charge nurse explain a lot of things to us way back when...which made things easier.


One of the BIG reasons that we pulled Holly from the dialysis center (and started the home hemo on NXStage) was that 3 of her friends at the center died within a month and a half (These were all much older folks than Holly...but Holly can get along with a 75 year old as easy as she can get along with a 5 year old :) )   The losses of the 2 ladies and one guy really devastated her as they sat on either side of her 3 times a week for over a year. The day after Holly's transplant we found out that Holly's favorite "buddy" at the center passed away on Christmas eve.

So sorry to hear about the loss of your friends. May God be with them...and their families.
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My name is Bruce and I am the caregiver for my daughter Holly who is 31 years old and received her kidney transplant on December 22, 2016 :)
Holly's Facebook Kidney  page: https://www.facebook.com/Hollys.transplantpage/

Holly had a heart transplant at the age of 5 1/2 months in 1990. Heart is still doing GREAT!  :thumbup;
Holly was on hemodialysis for 2.5 years-We did NXStage home hemo from January 2016 to December 22, 2016
Holly's best Christmas ever occurred on December 22, 2016 when a compassionate family in their time of grief gave Holly the ultimate gift...a kidney!
smartcookie
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« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2017, 08:42:08 AM »

For the techs at my clinic, they care a lot.  It may not seem like it when a patient asks about a patient who passed and they reply, "Oh, he passed away," but I have seen them cry, attend funerals and still come in willing to do their job.  Some of the techs here even take favorite foods to a patient's house when he/she aren't doing well or visit in the hospital.  One of the techs recently was taking a patient who was very ill a milkshake because he had stopped eating and the tech thought he might drink a milkshake.  When she got to his house, EMS was there and he had passed.  I just had a patient I was close to pass yesterday.  She dealt with a lot of loss in her life and had never gotten over her husband's death four years ago.  I held her hand and hugged her when she cried over him just last week.  It doesn't get any easier losing a patient, so you have to suck those emotions down and keep going.  Sometimes all you can say to the other patients is that he passed and quickly walk on so you don't cry in front of the patients.  I am so sorry for your losses, Charlie. 
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PrimeTimer
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« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2017, 10:21:03 AM »

Sorry for your loss, Charlie B. His son would probably find comfort in knowing he had a friend in you that he could talk "shop" with. Maybe you could put your name/number down in a sympathy card and someone at the clinic can give it to him or the family if they want the carburetor. Who knows but maybe your friend sensed his time was coming and left his carburetor in your care as a sort of token because as a mechanic he knew you'd appreciate it.   
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
cassandra
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« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2017, 02:08:02 PM »

I'm very sorry for your loss Charlie? I know how you feel, I think. It's the lack of info about the situation as a whole. Of course it's understandable that the paid people can't afford to get emotionally involved, they would breakdown than etc. But it's virtually impossible for most patients to not get involved.

For the techs at my clinic, they care a lot.  It may not seem like it when a patient asks about a patient who passed and they reply, "Oh, he passed away," but I have seen them cry, attend funerals and still come in willing to do their job.


That's the whole point Smartcookie, why do patients have to ask!! why is there not a notice on a board to like hang the card that the family (probably) has sent to inform them? Or just write it in a tactful way themselves? Some fellow patients know each other for years, but won't be on the "must inform by passing" list of the family. Most clinics or hosps are.

So to just pass on the info they do have might be a help?

Love, Cas

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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
iolaire
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« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2017, 02:29:43 PM »

why do patients have to ask!! why is there not a notice on a board to like hang the card that the family (probably) has sent to inform them? Or just write it in a tactful way themselves? Some fellow patients know each other for years, but won't be on the "must inform by passing" list of the family. Most clinics or hosps are.
I've seen a notice in my clinic lobby on a table of some sort of remembrance for about three people who passed - as if maybe its something they do once and while for multiple people.  But the one person who passed on my shift I knew about because I might have asked where he was.

I'm sure there are all sorts of privacy laws limiting them from flat out telling us when something happens.
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Transplant July 2017 from out of state deceased donor, waited three weeks the creatine to fall into expected range, dialysis December 2013 - July 2017.

Well on dialysis I traveled a lot and posted about international trips in the Dialysis: Traveling Tips and Stories section.
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« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2017, 10:16:04 AM »

That's the whole point Smartcookie, why do patients have to ask!! why is there not a notice on a board to like hang the card that the family (probably) has sent to inform them? Or just write it in a tactful way themselves? Some fellow patients know each other for years, but won't be on the "must inform by passing" list of the family. Most clinics or hosps are.

I think they need to have permission from the family before they can say anything.  There have been a couple of times where a nurse came to me and whispered to me that someone had died because they weren't really supposed to tell anyone.  In my clinic, when they have permission, they will put up a photo of the person who died on the counter in the waiting room.  Also, I live in a small place, so if someone should die, it's usually not hard to figure it out.
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transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
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Michael Murphy
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« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2017, 02:01:28 PM »

The penalty for HIPA violations are extreme.  Plus family filing lawsuits is a definite possibility.  If the clinic fixed cars they could tell everyone but the medical privacy laws are very strick. A family member who was in the hospital and the social worker called the house I felt there was info the hospital needed to know.  I started to tell the social worker some facts that were relevant social worker told me HIPA did not allow her to talk to me. I explained the law allowed me to speak tell her what I knew and what she couldn't do was comment.  It worked out.
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smartcookie
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« Reply #14 on: February 27, 2017, 06:48:50 AM »

Michael Murphy is right.  HIPA is the reason we can't really say anything or post anything.  Also, companies do not like you telling patients that other patients died.  It looks bad for the company.  My experience is that deaths come in bunches so I might have three deaths this month, but none for four or five months.  But to the patient looking at a memorial wall, they just see that there was three deaths in a month and start doubting the skill and care of our team.  I know that sounds bad and twisted, but that is how the higher ups look at it. 
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kitkatz
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« Reply #15 on: February 28, 2017, 10:28:52 PM »

I guess I am odd one out on my day shift because I transferred in from nocturnal to the day shift with a longer treatment so I come in at an odd time and do not sit and chat with anyone.
I really do not chat with anyone but the techs and nurse.  I sleep most of the time I am at dialysis.  I did get to know a few people who passed away.  My heart ached each time.
I guess I do not really get to know people beyond nodding hello at them. 
I have noticed that I just do not get to know people around me as well as I probably could. I am not nosy and do not pick up on names often.  I have a friend who knows everyone in her center at her shift and tries to tell me about them from when I was there for around a year.  She mourns everyone when they leave or pass and is involved in their lives.
I just do not do it. 

I am involved with my friends here on IHD.com.
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« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2017, 04:58:48 PM »

I think I get to know people in my center because they try to get to know me.  I look a lot younger than I actually am (unless you ask my mom. *L*) and I think that makes them take an interest.  I'm actually the "senior" patient at the center, because I've been there the longest, and I can usually answer questions that they have.  I've gotten to know a lot of my fellow patients, and I've lost count of how many we've lost, but I can't stop talking to them, especially the newer patients, who tend to have a lot of questions, and the nurses can't answer all of them.
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Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
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HD - Dec 2008-present
Charlie B53
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« Reply #17 on: March 08, 2017, 05:36:27 AM »

.......... I can't stop talking to them,.............

I had to chuckle just a bit at this.  My in-clinic Tech and the Nurse keep telling me to 'Shut Up!' I have a Venous Cath and they keep telling me that the vibrations from my voice upset the machine causing alarms.  That and I turn my head to the right which also somehow makes a small difference in flow and alarms go off.  Some days they are very often having to come over and push buttons to turn off the noisy thing.
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« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2017, 09:34:12 AM »

.......... I can't stop talking to them,.............

I had to chuckle just a bit at this.  My in-clinic Tech and the Nurse keep telling me to 'Shut Up!' I have a Venous Cath and they keep telling me that the vibrations from my voice upset the machine causing alarms.  That and I turn my head to the right which also somehow makes a small difference in flow and alarms go off.  Some days they are very often having to come over and push buttons to turn off the noisy thing.


One of the 100's of reasons I'm so much 'happier' at home. And Charlie even when you are very much likely returning to PD, this is a good opportunity for you to learn a bit about this machine. When you talk and the flow changes you could 'relieve' the nurse or tech and press the button your self. Although that might be also prohibited in the US of A too?

Love, luck, strength, Cas
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
Simon Dog
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« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2017, 12:31:05 PM »

Quote
When you talk and the flow changes you could 'relieve' the nurse or tech and press the button your self. Although that might be also prohibited in the US of A too?
I am a home hemo patient, but have used many clinics while traveling.  They have ranged from "Oh, you know this machine, just let us know if you want any help" to "Patients are not allowed to touch the machine".   When told the later, I channel Bob P and respond "Actually, the rule is I am not allowed to touch the machine when someone is looking".   It's good form to use gloves when touching the machine, as this is the policy (at least at FMC) for staff.
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Charlie B53
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« Reply #20 on: March 08, 2017, 08:16:13 PM »


LOL

I've already been told Do NOT Touch the machines. They won't even let me turn my chair so I can LOOK at it.

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Simon Dog
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« Reply #21 on: March 08, 2017, 09:29:13 PM »

I've already been told Do NOT Touch the machines. They won't even let me turn my chair so I can LOOK at it.
If Mohammed cannot go to the mountain, bring the mountain to Mohammed.   Have them turn the machine so you can see it.

I've never been refused this courtesy in any of the dozen or so clinics I have used.
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Michael Murphy
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« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2017, 03:37:53 AM »

I generally use 2 clinics one in New Jersey the other in  the Adirondacks in New York.  The Adirondack center angles the chair and machines so the patient can see the screen.  This angled setup  means I never have to ask "what time am I getting off?".     When I asked the charge nurse in New Jersey about doing the same thing she replied "Absolutely not, we need to be able To see the screen from the nurses station"".  Then I realized the difference between the two centers, Adirondack center did not have a nurses station in that clinic.  In New Jersey They had a constantly occupied nurses station.  The Adirondack clinic  staffs two nurses for 16 chairs one of which is the clinics nurse manager the New Jersey clinic has  a nurse manager and  usually 4 additional nurses  for 18 chairs.  This
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Simon Dog
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« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2017, 09:45:47 AM »

Quote
When I asked the charge nurse in New Jersey about doing the same thing she replied "Absolutely not, we need to be able To see the screen from the nurses station""
Everything sucks in NJ.

If there is an alarm, they should get up and service it.   If not, do you really think they are monitoring the pressure readings from the station?
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« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2017, 12:41:38 PM »

We have a nurse to patient ratio of 1:3, at least during the 2 day shifts.. for those 2 shifts, all 16 chars are usually full... in the evening, we have 3 nurses on, no matter how many people are in, and I don't think I've ever seen 9 patients in the evening... I think there's usually 6 of us in the evening.... though, we don't have techs, so that's why we have more nurses...

As for turning the machines, the nurses have no problem doing that.. they have to get up and do a check every hour anyway, and if there is an alarm, they have to check it.. that much is a safety thing.. having to see the screen from the nurses station is a load of bull.. that center is staffed with lazy nurses...
« Last Edit: May 22, 2017, 05:34:26 AM by Riki » Logged

Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
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