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Author Topic: It's a hate/love thing  (Read 400 times)
bhgammon
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Care partner for my wife

« on: December 23, 2016, 05:41:12 PM »

Hey ya’ll!

My name is Bruce, and I am 76 years old; don’t take my greeting as an indication that I am a born & bred southerner, as I was born & raised in Rochester, NY, lived in MI for a few years but settled here in northeastern North Carolina in 1971. I am the care partner for my “southern belle” wife of 34 years. I work, part-time, 20 hours a week, for our town government Planning and Zoning Department.

My wife has been on home hemodialysis for 1 year. Treatments started out as a real rollercoaster ride, but have leveled out fairly well. We treat 5 times a week which sometimes, on the days that I work, stretches me out a bit. My health is good for an older person, considering that I have had a heart attack, both hips replaced, one kidney removed due to cancer, and prostrate radiation for cancer.

Although my wife is wheelchair bound, she still cooks great meals, does most of the laundry, and light housecleaning. As time and energy permits, I take care of the heavier cleaning and the normal inside and outside care and maintenance.

Since starting dialysis, my wife has experienced a very significant improvement in her overall health, which makes it all so rewarding.

There are times when we wish that we had someone that could step in as an occasional care partner, but both family and friends are too hemophobic to qualify. I was a medic in the military and blood and needles are not a problem at all. I believe that others think that I am heartless and calloused, but it helps when something goes wrong and you can keep a clear head when trying to gain control of a situation.

We both wish that things could be different. My wife often thinks that she is a burden, but I have always been a realist; I almost left this world during my kidney surgery when I developed two pulmonary embolisms, but I realize now that the Lord was not finished with me here and I praise Him for keeping me here to be able to care for one of his best children. By the way, I saw that “white light” when the embolisms occurred, scary, but comforting at the same time. Later, the Dr. told me that my heart had stopped for 4 ½ minutes while I was laying on the C.T. machine. He sensed that something was going on, but had no explanation as to what other than “we’re not supposed to know everything”.
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Never look down on someone unless you're helping them up.
Simon Dog
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« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2016, 05:51:05 PM »

Welcome.  I grew up outside Rochester NY and worked there for 4 years early in my tech career.
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Michael Murphy
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« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2016, 07:52:08 PM »

Check with your clinic some have people who will come and do dialysis to give you a break. 
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PrimeTimer
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« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2016, 11:10:19 PM »

 :welcomesign; Welcome to the site, bhgammon! You're in good company here. Come rant, rave or share experiences. Many categories to choose from and you can even create your own. Good luck!
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Husband has ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his carepartner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
Rerun
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Going through life tied to a chair!

« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2016, 04:38:14 AM »

Glad you have joined.  Welcome Welcome.

Welcome - RERUN, ADMIN. 

 :welcomesign;
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Charlie B53
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« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2016, 06:14:34 AM »


Welcome to IHD.

As another Vet, I fully understand your feeling that God has a 'Mission' for you, that we will continue to live and serve until that mission is accomplished.


There are many of us that are here to help you, any way we can.  You've only need to ask and we will try to answer.

Take Care,

Charlie B53
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cassandra
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When all else fails run in circles, shout loudly

« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2016, 01:55:33 PM »

Welcome to the site bhgammon

   :welcomesign;


Have a good Xmas, Cas
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
kristina
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« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2017, 12:48:57 PM »


By the way, I saw that “white light” when the embolisms occurred, scary, but comforting at the same time. Later, the Dr. told me that my heart had stopped for 4 ½ minutes while I was laying on the C.T. machine. He sensed that something was going on, but had no explanation as to what other than “we’re not supposed to know everything”.

Hello bhgammon and welcome to IHD.
I have read your introduction with interest and wonder whether you could kindly explain a little about this experience? I have recently read an article about it and was most surprised to read, how many people write about going through a "white light" and it seemed to have given them an opportunity to either stay there and carry on or "return" and it was fascinating to read that all those different people had all the same experience.
I send you my best wishes from Kristina. :grouphug;
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Bach was no pioneer; his style was not influenced by any past or contemporary century.
  He was completion and fulfillment in itself, like a meteor which follows its own path.
                                        -   Robert Schumann  -

                                          ...  Oportet Vivere ...
Jean
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« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2017, 01:05:11 PM »


What a great introduction!!! Welcome to our group, we are glad to have you here. Don't think you will need much help, but if you do, this group is here for you. So, enjoy and   :welcomesign;
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
SooMK
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« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2017, 04:36:43 AM »

Welcome bhgammon!
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SooMK
Diagnosed FJHN/UKD 2009
Transplant April 2014
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