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Author Topic: Mum is slipping away.....  (Read 13840 times)
Darthvadar
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« on: July 05, 2014, 11:23:02 AM »
Hi All... My darling mum is fading fast... Not eating or drinking... Sleeping most of the time... Not even very coherent when awake, and I couldn't say she's really awake... She's also a very greyish colour... I think they plan not to give IV antibiotics when the next infection strikes... She's also very dehydrated... They couldn't find a vein to put her on IV fluids, so they're giving her sub-cutaneous fluids through a small needle under the skin of her abdomen, just to keep her comfortable... Nurse told me to come home and get a few hours rest... Please pray for us... Lord, please guide me...

I'm doing something that I hoped never to do... I'm packing a bag for the funeral director... Trying to decide what I'd like her to wear,... Bright colours, anyway... Going to ask people who are attending to wear something bright too... Mum was NEVER what you could call 'dull'....

This caring lark's an emotional mountain to climb....

Love to all....

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
SooMK
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« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2014, 12:00:09 PM »
Oh Darth. My heart is with you. May you find comfort in your faith.
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SooMK
Diagnosed with Uromodulin Kidney Disease (ADTKD/UMOD) 2009
Transplant from my wonderful friend, April 2014
Volunteering with Rare Kidney Disease Foundation 2022. rarekidney.org
Focused on treatment and cure for ADTKD/UMOD and MUC1 mutations.
Darthvadar
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« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2014, 12:03:27 PM »
Thank you, Soo...

Wish I had a strong faith....

Love... Darth....
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
Jean
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« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2014, 01:18:45 PM »
So sorry to hear this Darthie, we have all known this day was coming, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept it. Keep you chin up old girl.
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Darthvadar
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« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2014, 01:25:13 PM »
Thanks Jean....

Feeling the strain!... Please pray for Mum...

Love...

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
cariad
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« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2014, 02:12:00 PM »
I am so sad for you right now, Darth. Having read about your mother and seen you two in an interview on television, I can only say that yours is such a beautiful relationship, overflowing with love, respect and admiration for one another - and one could never forget the wicked humour that you both clearly share. I don't know how you say goodbye to her, but I am hoping for strength, wisdom and peace for you through this heartbreaking time.
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aharris2
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« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2014, 03:07:59 PM »
Darth.

You are and have been a wonderful daughter to your mother. I wish you strength in this hardest of times. Please find solace in all that you did for your mom. If this is your mother's time I hope she passes gently.
:cuddle;
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My dear Rolando, I miss you so much!
Rest in peace my dear brother...
MooseMom
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« Reply #7 on: July 05, 2014, 03:12:38 PM »
Ah, Darth.  I am so sorry to hear this.  :cuddle;  I wish you both peace and comfort during this most difficult of times. 
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
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« Reply #8 on: July 05, 2014, 03:36:02 PM »
I understand very well what you are going through.  :cuddle;

I haven't seen my dad for a few days, but have heard that he was quite incoherent at times while I was gone.

You are so right: this ride is a rough one, but it does come to an end. I'll be thinking of you. My dad is not quite as far along as your mum, but my time is coming soon.

Sending lots of love.

Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
PrimeTimer
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« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2014, 07:20:48 PM »
My thoughts and prayers are with you both -mainly with YOU, Darth. Please allow me to explain...I recently lost my Mother and know what pain and sorrow feels like. No doubt you are about to go through some of the same. Your mother? Well, she's about to have what sounds like a long awaited and deserving rest. But YOU are about to go through a lot of work just to get through grief. You will miss her but, she will be there in special places for you. You will have to look for those special places. Some days will be easier than others. I hope you will have or can make the time to let yourself grieve (something I wasn't afforded), whether that be by surrounding yourself with friends and family or some time alone. The ihd site seems to be a nice warm place to turn to. 
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Husband had ESRD with Type I Diabetes -Insulin Dependent.
I was his care-partner for home hemodialysis using Nxstage December 2013-July 2016.
He went back to doing in-center July 2016.
After more than 150 days of being hospitalized with complications from Diabetes, my beloved husband's heart stopped and he passed away 06-08-21. He was only 63.
Joe
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« Reply #10 on: July 05, 2014, 08:09:11 PM »
Our thoughts and prayers for all that is needed are with you Darth.
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okarol
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« Reply #11 on: July 05, 2014, 11:13:00 PM »
BIG HUGS from me to you Darth - wish I was closer. Take care and lots of love to Mum.  :'(
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Darthvadar
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« Reply #12 on: July 05, 2014, 11:38:17 PM »
Thanks Folks....

Just spoke to the nurse looking after her... She's asleep, and seems to be pain free... Best we can ask for right now.....

Appreciate your support...

I'll text Kitz if there's any major change....

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
cassandra
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« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2014, 11:55:56 PM »
All my love to you Darth. I agree with Primetimer. When my dad died he found his rest. And in a way that was, and is a huge comfort.

Lots of love, and strength, Cas
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
lainiepop
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« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2014, 12:47:22 AM »
So sorry to read this Darth. Thoughts and prayers are with you xxx
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1982 - born with one imperfect kidney and no bladder, parents told i would not survive
1984 - urostomy op
1990 - bladder built out of colon
2007 - birth of son, gfr fall from 3O to 26
July2011 - birth of prem daughter, gfr 17%
August2011 - gfr drop to 10%
29th May2012 - RECEIVED KIDNEY 4/6 match from my wonderful dad !
Darthvadar
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« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2014, 12:48:16 AM »
Thanks Everyone....

Yes, at this stage I think the very best I can ask for is for my darling mum to have what we Irish call 'a good death'...

So much for me stressing about her going into a nursing home, and rushing around trying to find the 'right' one... Really don't think that'll happen now... And if I'm honest, I'd rather it that way... She knows all of the staff on Osborne Ward, they've been treating her for seven years... She feels safe in their care....

Please pray for us... For a gentle exit from this life for Mum, and acceptance for me....

Thank you all....

Darth....
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
Darthvadar
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« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2014, 05:30:23 AM »
Lazerus may have done it... Again!.... Nurses said she wasn't interested in food, or liquid at Breakfast time... Didn't even have a cup of tea...

I went into her expecting her to be asleep... Wide awake!... Had a little chat... Then lunch arrived... Roast pork, cabbage, swede and mashed potato... She looked at it, and said 'Oooh, cabbage... Think I'll have some of that!'... Then asked where the butter was for the potato???... When I went off to get some butter from the kitchen, she drank half a glass of milk!...

When I left her to here meal, she issued me with my instructions... A bottle of Pepsi, and some bullseyes sweets!!!... I'm going to bring a flask of ice, too... She may drink more if the drinks are cool... Oh Lord... This roller-coaster's got me shattered!... Thanks for all the support, and the lovely thoughts... Please keep it coming!...

Love...

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
Bambino_Bear
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« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2014, 07:53:15 AM »
 :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :grouphug;
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I am a caregiver to my wonderful husband,  He is 4p and started PD October 2013. We have several living donors waiting to be tested for a transplant. Dialysis is a bridge to get us where we need to go. 
He had a transplant in November 2019.
Jean
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« Reply #18 on: July 06, 2014, 10:56:27 AM »
Way to go Elsie!!!!!!!!   :bandance;
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okarol
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« Reply #19 on: July 06, 2014, 02:17:00 PM »
 :flower; Thinking of you both.
Your post made me smile Darth.  :waving;
Please give Elsie a hug from Jenna and I!
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
nursey66
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« Reply #20 on: July 06, 2014, 08:51:58 PM »
So sorry to hear this , and happy there are some good changes , too. Good to know she isn't in pain.
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galvo
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« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2014, 11:50:22 PM »
May she go peacefully when the time comes and may you find the strength to soldier on!
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Galvo
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« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2014, 10:35:58 AM »
Oh Darthie, sending oodles of *huggles* for both of you ...
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Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
Darthvadar
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« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2014, 12:14:03 PM »
Well, Mum a bit more alert this evening...

Slept most of the day, but had an egg and onion sandwich, and a cup of tea.... She fancied some Pepsi, so I brought a flask of ice in with me, filled a Thermos mug with it, topped it up with Pepsi, and she drank most of it... Amazing how much easier it is to drink a cool Pepsi!... Ice machine on the ward hasn't worked for months...

Anyway, I can only plod on until the next crisis strikes!...

Humour hasn't gone, though, although any little bit of tact certainly has... One female doctor hasn't got the nicest legs in the world... Mum said today, loudly 'Doctor Stumpy Legs was here today!'... The other patients howled with laughter!.... I didn't know where to put myself!...Thank God ' Dr Stumpy Legs' wasn't there!!!...

Love to all...

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
MooseMom
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« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2014, 01:51:00 PM »
Thank you so much for the update!  I'm glad she is doing a bit better.
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
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