*huggles* required, please

[del]

Lots of huggles!!!  Can you contact a private therapist or counselor.  I know our doctor often recommends counsellng instead of drugs.  Hubby had to have therapy when his mom had to be put in a nursing home.

[Poppylicious]

I woke up ridiculously early today (about 6am) needing a pee and then I couldn't get back to sleep even though my GP appointment wasn't till 8.30am. I was very tempted to just keep walking when I got to the surgery road, but decided that I'd come this far. 

I had a brief overview of how I felt written on a note app on my phone so I let the lovely (junior) doctor read it.  Then he just chatted to me to get more info and then he did that little question thingy they have to do over here. I scored quite highly. I told him I didn't want to go on anti-Ds and the reason why ... so I'm not on them, but it is an option. I cried. He couldn't find any tissues. I said I'd like counselling, he said that was fine but the wait at the surgery after referral is about two months. He's going to contact the transplant clinic because they have a counselling service and he thinks they might see me quicker.

He's given me a leaflet to read, and I have to go back next week to see him and talk more about the available options. I'm also having blood tests next week so that they can rule out thyroid issues.

He said well done for going in to see him.

I feel calmer now. Still empty and sad, but definitely calmer.

Thanks for your support, lovelies.

[lainiepop]

Well done Poppy, glad your doc is helping you . Hopefully the tx clinic will C u quicker (a perk of being a donor

Lots of love
xxx

[galvo]

Hang in there Pops!

[Angiepkd]

Thinking of you, Poppy!  Glad you made it in to see the GP.  At least you have the ball rolling and will hopefully feel much better, soon.  Sending you huggles!

[lou]

Hi Poppy, just saw this and wanted to say well done for going, it was brave of  you to do it and hopefully you will get an appointment soon. I haven't been on here for a while but always look out for your posts when I do as think you're lovely and hate to think you are going through a difficult time. Lots of *huggles* to you and hope things improve soon xxx 

[billybags]

Poppy I am so sorry that I missed your posts. I have just popped in for a look see. I am really sorry you are going through this but you are heading in the right direction hopefully the doc will put you right. I send you loads of hugs only wish I could be with you to do it in person.

[looneytunes]

Poppy....I also just popped into IHD with only a spare moment and read your post.  I am sending you the biggest cyber-huggles there ever have been.      You have taken good positive steps and I am cheering you on in my prayers!      

[Poppylicious]

Fancy an update?  Well, you're getting one.

 

March was a nightmare, April wasn't much better and the future is full of pot-holes and stumbling blocks (none of which has anything to do with the initial feelings I started this thread about.) However, I am on antiDs (seven weeks now) and I've had four sessions with the counsellor (I bypassed the LONG wait for the one at the GP surgery and see the renal one at Hospital ... a perk of being a living donor I think!)

Talking to someone makes me feel ridiculous - both because I hate talking and because I rarely ever talk about myself in the Real World, but I think it's helping a teeny bit, if only because I'm getting my head round things that I already knew.

Yesterday I brought up the ihd UK Meet because it's been playing on my mind. I am completely stepping out of my comfort zone by meeting a bunch of people I barely know and we established that I'm worried those of you I meet will judge me, hate me, think I'm uninteresting and consider me too quiet. And that you won't want to be my friend anymore.

She's going to help me establish some strategies for dealing with my thoughts and anxiety. I think I need them.

*sigh*

[gothiclovemonkey]

i have the same type of anxieties about meeting people. i know how hard that can be. *huggles* but i cant imagine people not liking you, ur awesome!
its also very hard to talk to a councelour, but im glad ur finding urself able to try at least.

[cassandra]

Completely agree with Gothiclovemonkey. I'm meeting you tomorrow too, and there's no way I won't like you, or think you're quiet, cos you sound incredibly nice, and am really looking forward to meeting you.

Lots of love, Cas

[MooseMom]

Oh poppy, I don't know why I am just now seeing your post regarding your GP visit.  I'm so glad I caught your update.

I am hoping that speaking to a counselor AND being on anti-ds will help in the long run.  I'm so happy that you have been able to finally get some help, so well done you!

Maybe it would help if you don't think of your counselor visits as being "the Real World" because really there are few places more "unreal" than a therapist's office!  LOL!

My guess, and it is only a guess, is that you will end up being so delighted with finally meeting fellow IHDers that you won't even think about how you appear to others.  Just think, there may be some people attending who are worried about whether or not YOU will be judging THEM.

Have a wonderful time. 

[Poppylicious]

My guess, and it is only a guess, is that you will end up being so delighted with finally meeting fellow IHDers that you won't even think about how you appear to others.  Just think, there may be some people attending who are worried about whether or not YOU will be judging THEM.

Have a wonderful time.

Thanks MM. As it happens I had a blast.  I think I was quiet, but I don't think anyone really noticed ... *ssshhh* ...

 

[cassandra]

Oh Poppy, it was so lovely to meet y'all. Was I too loud? Oh don't answer that.

Love, Cas

[MooseMom]

Poppy, so glad to hear you had a good time!  Cas wasn't too loud, was she? 

[smcd23]

I'm tardy to the party so to speak, but life around these parts has been pretty crazy and I am rarely on my computer.

I think what you are feeling and going through is pretty normal given your situation. Tony and I have been seeing someone together for awhile now, and she says I have something called "adjustment disorder" which is basically feelings of sadness/anxiety/depression which pop up after a stressful or traumatic life event. Things in these parts are still generally pretty stressful so while I can generally hold myself together well enough, I go through these periods especially after things get particularly stressful where I get so super anxious and sad. I could totally see how if you already had some depression going on how that could make things overwhelming. And I am very glad to see you were able to start seeing someone! I find counseling helps, especially with Tony there because sometimes a large part of what I am stressed and anxious over is directly related to him. Would Blokey be willing to see someone with you?

I am glad you were able to speak here, and got to see someone to start working through those feelings. It really feels awful (and I know this from experience) when you have nobody to talk to, or are afraid to talk to someone because you don't want to burden them. Big hugs from afar, and I hope things keep improving! But know that you are not alone in how you feel, and there is always someone around to listen (hell you can send me a message on FB even if you want to talk ever, trust me I totally understand and can sympathize with what you are going through and have gone through!)

I am also sad I don't live in the UK because I would have totally gone to a meetup, but happy to hear it went well!

[MooseMom]

scmd23, I am so happy to "see" you here and am very glad you and Tony are seeing someone.  You two have really been through the wars and need as many allies as you can get.  I wish we here on IHD could be of more help to you, but I'm glad you are getting some help out there in the real world.   

[Poppylicious]

I am glad you were able to speak here, and got to see someone to start working through those feelings. It really feels awful (and I know this from experience) when you have nobody to talk to, or are afraid to talk to someone because you don't want to burden them. Big hugs from afar, and I hope things keep improving! But know that you are not alone in how you feel, and there is always someone around to listen (hell you can send me a message on FB even if you want to talk ever, trust me I totally understand and can sympathize with what you are going through and have gone through!)

Thank you, pumpkin! I'm not sure counselling with Blokey would help, purely due to the fact that (through talking) I'm of the opinion that the reason I needed it stems from the past, pre-Blokey. I do tell him what we talk about though. Since I've been on the antiDs I haven't been as mean or moody and that's helped our relationship (which was fine anyway, but we do have some issues to work through.)

Big hugs from afar back!

Oh Poppy, it was so lovely to meet y'all. Was I too loud? Oh don't answer that.

Love, Cas

Ha ha! No. But you scare me with talk of adding photos of me on here! (Please don't!)

 

[Poppylicious]

My MiL has been diagnosed with lung cancer. This year is fast becoming my 'annus horribilis'.

*sigh*

[cassandra]

Oh no, Terribly sorry for all of you. Lots of love, and hugs to all of you

     


Love, Cas

[lainiepop]

So sorry to hear that poppy

[galvo]

Bummer!