Dialysis never got the chance to be really hated

[paris]

My heart is breaking for you.  I lost my husband 15 months ago. The last week he was in ICU hooked up to everything. His doctor talked with us (the last time Barry was able to talk) about his wishes. I kept asking "honey, do you understand what the doctor is asking you"?  He did and he was tired and ready to go.  Within minutes the ICU room turned into a Hospice room, all monitors were turned off, all life saving measures were stopped and they gave him as much pain meds as he wanted.  It took several days, but I got to sit with him around the clock. One afternoon, our Pastor stopped by. Fortunately all our kids were there so we surrounded Barry, holding hands while the Pastor gave us such beautiful words of peace.   He said "Amen" -- the Hospice nurse looked and me and said "He is gone".   All I could think is that Barry had just been prayed into Heaven.  What a gift that was for our family.   

I will be holding you in my thoughts and prayers. It is the hardest thing you will go through.  I'm still a mess.  Be good to yourself.  It is good to cry and be angry.  I am so very sorry. 

[MaryJoe]

I pray Walt will continue to be content and at ease, I don't know a better way for him to be, I just wish you could be feeling the same way. I understand the emotional pain and conflict you are having, I just wish you could be at peace as you go through the coming days. I'm sure feelings of anger and resentment are a natural part if the circumstances you find yourself in, you are living through a nightmare and your mind and heart will rebel at every turn. I hope you also have times of peace and ease and that you have loving, supportive people around you to help you through this painful time. 

It is good of you to keep us updated. You are both in our thoughts and in our hearts, and of course, in our prayers.

[waltswife]

My dear husband Walt passed away on Thursday.  The last words he heard were I love you.  Then he took his final gasp.  This site has meant so much to me, you have all given me strength, compassion and support.  I wish you all the best in your struggles. 

[galvo]

May he rest in peace.