Husband 45 with no dialysis for 6 days-says he's quitting

[brenda seal]

How horrible you both went through such a day ! Maybe if someone had shown him a little compassion and understanding , they could have talked him round . He obviously is at a point that he is not thinking clearly . Laurie once walked out of our local hospital after a nurse stood toe to toe arguing with him about pain meds he has been taking for over 30 years . She told him he could not leave with the iv  in , he said watch me ! She actually sent the police to our house to bring him back as he still had an iv in . He had in the meantime removed it himself . I know what you mean about strong willed and stubborn . I just wish this was not happening and I continue to send you both my best wishes . I hope you have lots of support .

[amanda58]

Hi John's wife...I understand how he feels, it is not easy to deal with being sick all the time. You do feel like you are a burden on everyone. My grandma lasted for over 3 weeks, and she had just had enough. She had no quality of life, and was not a good sick person. The family just supported her as best they could, and respected her wishes, after all, it was HER life. We just kept reminding her of all the good times we had had with her over the years, and even showed her some pictures of the best times throughout her life. Technology has progressed so much in the last 20 years, and we are able to sustain life so much further than when she passed, but the desire to live is a big factor on how well a person can tolerate the treatment. Some people just feel so lousy that they can't imagine getting any worse. Some people just keep up a brave face, and just carry on. The Lord will take him when the time is right, and really all you can do is love him and offer words of comfort.....tell him all the things he needs to know....be there . God Bless you

[boswife]

   I wish you strength and peace, and Gods arms around you... blessings

[okarol]

  What a difficult time, he should be listened to. It's his life.
Big hugs for you johnswife! 

[willowtreewren]

So many hugs coming your way.

 

I'm sorry that the medical staff put John through all that. Why won't they just listen to the patient? 

Aleta

[Desert Dancer]

johnswife, I'm sorry you had to deal with self-important jerks who felt they knew better than you and John. You two are going through such a difficult time already and certainly didn't need that kind of disrespectful idiocy on top of everything else. 

I wish you weren't in this position to begin with. I really admire your commitment to John's wishes and I wish there were something I could do to ease your pain. Just know that there are many more people than you realize sending strength and healing thoughts your way. 

[AnnieB]

 You are in my prayers.

[amanda100wilson]

You were right and they were wrong, plain and simple.  At the moment, you need to put all your energy in to supporting your family.  When you are in a position to do so, I would love you to do something to redressed the wrong that was done to you and John today.  Complain for sure, butmore importantly, Ithink that you should go to the hospital (I hope it's a teaching hospital, if so, so much the better) or go to this one plus the nearest teaching hospital,not for retribution (bu for that as well if needs be) but to arrange a teaching seminar, where you can  tell John's story and his treatment today and use it as a way to raise discussion why this was wrong in so many ways.  Hopefully, some new docs. Will walk away having learnt avaluable lesson, and with a bit of luck, some older ones will too.  The doctors responsible for this treatment should simply hang their head in shame.

[bleija]

when u said they were gonna do surgery, i wondered why, i mean he has made his decision, he hass accepted what it means and you guys are supporting his wishes, to try to make him dialize i rediculous. what a crazy rediculous day

[MaryJoe]

Lisa, I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.  i know this is very hard for all of you, and I admire your ability to support your husband and take care of your children through all the stress and pain.  I'm glad John is not in any pain.

[johnswife]

Hello to everyone. Just an update John is still here and actually still feeling ok. He's tired ect but it's been almost 3 weeks which the doctors didn't think could be done. Here's wishing for yet another day!

[Brightsky69]

 

[jbeany]

   Sending good thoughts to you both.

[Rain]

Hugz hang in there. 

[AnnieB]

 

[okarol]

Hello to everyone. Just an update John is still here and actually still feeling ok. He's tired ect but it's been almost 3 weeks which the doctors didn't think could be done. Here's wishing for yet another day!

 

[boswife]

   Thanks for contact and bless ya both,

[MaryJoe]

Lisa, Thank you for keeping in touch.  I'm glad to hear that John is still feeling O.K.  Praying for physical comfort for John, spiritual comfort and peace of mind for all of you and of course "yet another day".   

[Marsh]

Hugs!   

[joval]

May God Bless you as you go through this difficult time.......

[Karl Hand]

     Sounds to me like your husband has been dealt a bad hand.  I was only on dialysis for about 6 months.  It was killing me.  I did work out occasionally with weights.  One day I went to dialysis and someone was being prepped for a transplant.  Went home and told my brother that I thought I was next.  Just about got to sleep and my brother was pounding on my door.  When I angrily asked what he wanted, he told me my number was up.  Seems the guy that was to get the transplant chickened out.  The kidney was mine if I wanted it.  It was a cadaver kidney and I am pretty certain they said it had a 50/50 chance of taking.  That was 32 years ago.  Sometimes you just don't know and that is why it is important that you don't give up. 

[okarol]

     Sounds to me like your husband has been dealt a bad hand.  I was only on dialysis for about 6 months.  It was killing me.  I did work out occasionally with weights.  One day I went to dialysis and someone was being prepped for a transplant.  Went home and told my brother that I thought I was next.  Just about got to sleep and my brother was pounding on my door.  When I angrily asked what he wanted, he told me my number was up.  Seems the guy that was to get the transplant chickened out.  The kidney was mine if I wanted it.  It was a cadaver kidney and I am pretty certain they said it had a 50/50 chance of taking.  That was 32 years ago.  Sometimes you just don't know and that is why it is important that you don't give up.

Awesome story!

[johnswife]

Johns sure hanging on for something; I know that. He shouldn't be here-it's been 23 days with no dialysis and he's still fighting. I think he's staying around to tell the doctors kiss my a$$.  They told him with his function he
Wouldn't make it past 1-2 weeks!!

Something very ironic though-he's tried to get disability and was turned down well he got approved now starting september 1st!! What's the odds. It's like a cruel joke.

[Wat76]

Or......Maybe a blessing instead of a cruel joke. Wishing you both well, it is hard. I m  struggling with D. hopefully things will get better soon.

[MomoMcSleepy]

What about his infections?  Is he on antibiotics?  The chest catheter sounds painful.  It also sounds like they agreed to remove his catheters as a ruse, to get him in the hospital and bully him back onto dialysis.  Of course, it must be frustrating to think you can help a sick person and they refuse your help.  They are trained to keep people alive, seemingly at any cost, and to a hammer, everything is a nail...oh, hugs, I am glad he's not in pain!