The First Dialysis Story written by US!

TheFirst Dialysis Story written, by members. As of today Just thought you may like to see what you have, unedited.

Samantha was tired. The day had been long and it was not over yet. Dialysis was waiting for her next. She swore at the hallway walls as she pulled her bra off and threw a shirt on. She was running late as usual and would probably get caught in traffic on the way to the dialysis center. She packed a small bag of snacks and barrelled out the door. She told her cat goodbye as she closed the door to her apartment.
Samantha walked briskly down the hallway to the elevator hoping no one would be in it. She didn't feel like being delayed at all by chatty people. Not that she minded a good conversation but she didn't like coming across as rude as the door opened and she had to cut the conversation short.
She pushed the button and waited for a minute until the door opened and she was glad to see her luck was with her today. She rode down to the lobby and then walked out to ...
.. the hallway lined with wheelchairs. The stench of bleach and plastic filled the air. That familiar smell that made her sick to her stomach everytime. As she entered the office the waiting room was full. Not a good sign as that meant they were running late. The receptionist was on the phone so "Sam" as her family called her, waited patiently. When the receptionist hung up she....
...said to her, in as nice a voice as she could make it, "I am here for my dialysis session. When do you think I would be able to go on?"
"Well, as you can see, " the receptionist drawled, as she hooked the chewing-gum from her mouth, "the waiting-room is full. No telling when you can get a chair."
Sam slumped into a chair in the waiting-room. Just then she saw that Jim was there waiting too. 'Should I go over and say 'hello', or just stay here, pretending I didn't see him?' she asked herself. He was the shift before hers and was usually leaving when she was coming. She remembered the first day she met him when.....
he was alone and looking frightened and nervous. Must be a "first-timer"
Sam thought. Just as Sam decided to go over and see how Jim was
doing, the receptionist called his name. She was rather glad. Not in the
talking mood anway. He stood up to go with the nurse and ............
smiled at Sam as he passed by. "Hey" , Sam kinda half-smiled at him as he went into the treatment room. She was weary today and weary of the never-ending sessions still ahead of her. Even though the common denominator for everyone in the waiting room was dialysis, Sam still felt like an alien among the complainers, coughers, and vacant-eyed patients who seemed to dominant this particular clinic. She had been in others over the many years. Some better, some worse. It was always a breath of fresh air to meet someone like Jim, who seemed to not be defined by the repetitious but unavoidable life support system that joined all of them together for long hours every few days.
The sound of her name "Samantha" startled her and she jumped. "We're ready for you" said the nurse. Wow, that was fast she thought. She picked up her things and followed the nurse to the scale. "Crap" she thought I'm over 1.4kg. That usually meant a rough run for her. But, she tried to think positive. "You'll be in the back on chair 4 today". She hated being switched from one chair to the next everytime. Couldn't they just give her the same damn chair! Then she rounded the corner and they sat her right next to....
Jim! He was already seated and hooked up and had his headphones in. Sam got her standing BP while seeing if Jim noticed that she was seated beside him. Then the nurse/tech made a comment but Sam didn't hear it and asked her to repeat it. She said ...
..try to look sexy just in case Jim lookes up at you". She then sat down and got comfortable. She had a chest catheter so she had to wear a mask while the nurse unbuttoned her top and pulled out her catheter ends for the bloodlines. Then she smelled something bad.....
.. it was the techs in their breakroom, burning the microwave popcorn again! But this time it looked bad!
Smoke was accumulating near the ceiling across the room. No one seemed to notice! She glanced over at
Jim and...
...he looked back at her with a look of horror across his face. Sam pointed the smoke out to the nurse/tech. The nurse rushed into the breakroom with a fire extinguisher, leaving Sam's top still unbuttoned and catheter ends out. She looked back at Jim, who was looking back at her with a dreamy look about his face. They looked into each other's eyes for a brief moment, and then...
Jim turned his head and threw-up. The smoke and smell was really getting to him.
Sam remembered her "clamp, cut and run" training, and begin to clamp off all her tubing. Then she began to look frantically around, realizing that there were no scissors anywhere in reach.

The nurse with the fire extinguisher came out of the breakroom, loudly declaring that everything was fine, just a small microwave fire, but all was well. Sam breathed a sigh of relief, looked over at Jim, and said, "Glad they weren't doing any REAL cooking in that thing!" As she looked over at Jim, who appeared a bit embarrassed, she smiled and said, "I was going to pretend to be aloof and mysterious, but given that we've just been through a major disaster, I guess we can consider the ice to be broken!" Jim laughed and said.......
"Yeah, but I can't believe I already puked in front of you. We haven't even been on a first date yet!" He smiled at her with vomit still in his teeth. Sam was disgusted at his sight and decided to discontinue the flirting. They finished their dialysis sessions in silence and went their separate ways. Later that day...
Sam was awoke from a dead sleep by the phone. She said "hello" in a groggy voice. "Hello", said .....
Jim. It was Jim on the phone, another Jim, Jim from work. "What is it with you? I just got to sleep and you call me?" she ranted into the phone.
"Better check your clock, Sweetie."he chirped into her ear. "You are late for work today. The boss is looking for blood this morning, too."
"Oh crap!" she mumbled at the phone receiver. "I will be in as soon as I can."
She slammed down the phone, threw back the covers, stood up, and promptly...
...headed for the kitchen. I need coffee before I can face THIS day, she thought. Why me? If it
weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all!
Sam wasn't going to hurry. It was too late to slip in unnoticed. She was just going to have to show
up late to work and face the consequences. She looked over the newspaper as she sipped the hot
coffee, and on the front page she saw...
She saw that her buddy at the dialysis center, Jim, had gotten into a fatal car wreck with a drunk driver. The drunk driver had crossed over the yellow line and hit Jim's car head-on. Jim was killed instantly. "At least he didn't suffer," Sam thought to herself. She knew this week wasn't going to be a normal week whatsoever; she would have to attend his funeral in a few days. She then wondered if the drunk driver was an organ donor? What a thought to think after her friend had just died! She couldn't help it; she's a dialysis patient and needs a kidney!
As Sam pondered the ironies of life, her phone rang again. She thought about not answering it, then remembering how she had been scolded by her transplant co-ordinator for missing a couple of calls, relunctantly got up and answered, knowing it was work again. "Hello?" "Samantha, it's Carol. Are you ready? We've got a kidney for you!"
Sam sat down abruptly, mind racing through all the questions she had planned out. "Before you say anything", gushed Carol "this is a perfect match for you, and the donor had a closed head injury from a drunk driving accident."
"I'll be right there!" shouted Sam. "You can give me the rest of the details when I get there."
She hopped in her car and her cell rang. It was one of her friends from the unit. "Did you see the paper?"
"I know, but I'm on the way to the hospital. I just got the call" Sam replied.
"Omygosh! That's great!" said Sheronda. "But I gotta tell you....Jim's okay. The paper got it wrong! The drunk driver was the one killed!"
"Oh wow," thought Sam......that could mean...........
the light suddenly turned red and Sam slammed on her brakes. Man, that is all I need, Sam thought, is to get in a wreck myself on the way to the hospital. She fumbled with her cell phone so she could call her parents. "Hello, Mom? I'm on my way to the hospital, they have a kidney for me." "No, don't come yet until I'm sure it is a go." The light turned green so she clicked her cell phone closed and started out once again. A million things ran through her head........
Now where was the list of questions she was supposed to ask about the kidney when she go to the hospital? In the over night bag she hoped. It was driving her crazy. All the waiting came down to now, a kidney for her. Would it work? Would it be viable? Was she going to get it?
She checked in with the transplant coordinator at the hospital and began the slow blood draw process for compatability...
...wondering why so many conflicting thoughts were running through her head. What about Jim? The idea that he was still alive filled her with such a thrill. But why should it? And if this transplant works out, it means she might not be seeing him again. 'Oh well,' she said to herself.'Let me focus on what is going on right now. This is the most important thing for me.' But certain thoughts just wouldn't go away. Just then the nurse said......
"Samantha", she said quietly. "You're running a low grade fever today. They're sending you home, Hon."
"Crap!" she thought and out loud, "Was it a good match?" The nurse replied, "No matter what the match, it wouldn't be a good 'match' if we made you sicker, now would it?"
"Right", Sam whispered as she began to gather her belongings for the long, slow trip back to the dialysis world. For a few brief moments, she had traveled out and away from that place to a hopeful future free of machines.
"Try not to get too down", the nurse gave her a hug and then let her go.
Try not to get too down, easy for her to say thought Sam as she was leaving.
In a flash new hope for her future had vanished. Well, she thought I just have to accept that
this time was not meant to be for some reason. Would she ever get a kidney, would it
ever happen for her she wondered. Part of the day was shot. She debated whether she should
go on to work or just go home as she traveled down the highway. Then........
...she decided she was hungry and stopped off at a fast food restaurant. She then realized that she had forgotten her binders, because she thought she would be getting a transplant and wouldn't be needing them anymore. She's had a really rough day, though, and figures that it would be OK to skip them with this one meal. She splurges and orders a big juicy hamburger with extra cheese, fries with lots of salt, and a large chocolate milkshake. While waiting at the drive-thru window, she ponders, "So I wonder if the kidney I was going to get was from the drunk driver that I thought killed Jim?" Then they handed her the food she ordered, and she was on her way home when...
her cell phone rang. She fumbled around in her coat pocket for it and caught it on its last ring. "SAM" a voice yelled! "Yes" she said. "This is Jagdeep Sing at the hospital" she said in a thick East Indian accent. "The thermometer was malfunctioning. It said we all have fevers! Come back as soon as you can to see if you indeed have a fever." Samantha shuttered at the thought. "What a p*cking roller-coaster" she said. She started to turn around...........
... and her car sputtered, lurching forward, it chugged along - then died. What in the world...? she thought, What now!?! The driver in the car behind her leaned on his horn. She stared at the dash and he honked again. Rolling down her window, she waved him around. Unfortunately the traffic heading out of town at rush hour filled the oncoming lanes. There was no where to go. She reached for the key and tried to restart the car. It seemed to catch for a moment, then whimpered to a dead silence. Now the driver behind her was flashing his headlights AND honking. Sam put her head on the steering wheel and began to cry. Suddenly there was a sharp knock on her driver's side window. Startled, she looked up and ...
...there was Jim! She never felt so happy to see someone before.
"How can I help?" he asked. "I was coming in the opposite direction and saw you here in a bind."
"Please help me push this car over to the shoulder. And I need to get to the hospital right away! Can you help me?"
"It would be my pleasure! Please don't cry anymore!"
Jim just took over the situation. He asked her not to cry, but pure relief made her weep even more. He sent for roadside assistance and they both got into his car. 'Nice car,' thought Sam, but she decided to say nothing. Then Jim looked over at her and asked.....
"So what you are going to the hospital for? Are you okay or did you get the call?" She was so happy to tell him that she got the call but it has been a crazy day. Anything that could go wrong was going wrong. She told him about the fever and then the call back about the thermometers. He laughed in disbelief and they drove on their way.
She had chatted so much about how bad her day had gone so far that time flew and they were there. As he parked she stole a glance and noticed his strong jaw line as if she had never noticed before. Maybe it was the fact that he came to her rescue that he seemed now like a prince in shining armor. She was lost in thought when he suddenly asked, "Are you coming?" "Oh ya!" she snapped to! "Sorry it has just been a long day!" He locked the doors and they walked toward the hospital in silent thought. Then he turned to her and asked, "...
"....so, did you bring a bag or anything?"
"Oh, great! I must've left it in my car! I'm usually not such an air-head....ok, maybe, SOMETIMES, I can be an airhead, but really, I'm usually pretty good in a crisis...not that this is a crisis or anything...I mean, its a really good thing that this is happening, but it started out so weird...I mean first I heard you were dead and then I get a call saying I'm gonna get a kidney and then I find out you're alive but I'm NOT gonna get a kidney and so I go get a HUGE meal of junk food which I'm just about to scarf down and then I find out I MIGHT get a kidney but my car dies and then you're suddenly there to rescue me....and ......I'm babbling randomly aren't I...."
"Um....you thought I was dead?" asked Jim.
"Oh," Sam replied.She figured he had seen the newspaper. "Yeah, it was on the front page of the newspaper this morning. It said that you had gotten into a car wreck with a drunk driver. Someone later called me and said that they got the name wrong. Turns out it was James Beam, not James Bean. It was just a typo."
"Oh. I didn't get the paper this morning." Jim replied as they entered the building. Just then....
hree nurses came running up to Sam.
"You are here finally! Let's go!"
Bewildered Sam went with them. They whisked her away to an exam room and told her to strip down. A thermometer went into her mouth and onto a gurney she went. One nurse took her blood pressure, another called the doctor, the third took the thermometer out of her mouth.
"Uh Oh." the nurse on the phone said. She turned to Sam and asked. "How long have you been on dialysis?"
"About 15 years", Sam replied.
"Well, when was your last heart cath?"
"I've never had one." Sam was getting nervous now. She'd always hated the idea of someone jamming, THREADING, a wire into her pumping heart. That particular procedure always sounded more suited for those hearts that had already stopped beating.
"I've never needed one, she continued. "I always passed all the cardiac tests with flying colors....the echo, doppler, stress test...all of 'em. When I had my evaluation a couple of years ago, they didn't think I needed it then..."
"Hmmmmmmm," Nurse Ratchitt pursed her lips and turned back to the phone.
Sam slumped, staring in space...'What now?' she thought.
She straightened up.
"NURSE!!" she yelled. Get me the transplant coordinator NOW!"
The nurse turned and said, "She's with the donor family," and turned back to the phone.
"Well we need to talk. I have some questions of my own!"
Just then Carol, the TC came through the door. "Hey, how are you? Looks like they're
getting you all checked out!"
"Carol, listen. I have been thinking. I know I should ask questions. I couldn't think until now, but I need to know.
What can you tell me about the donor? How old is he? What about his health history? Can I ask what the injuries are? Is he married?
I just need to know more before we go any further."
Just then Nurse Ratchitt marched over to Carol and Sam and said...
"SHE should've had a cath done when she had her work up. She's never had one! Now we have to waste time getting that cath and I just don't know if she's even gonna be able to get this kidney now!" All that was missing was the finger snap in Carol's face.
Carol just rolled her eyes and then calmly told Nurse 'I Know Everything About Everything', "Excuse me doctor.........Oh! You almost had me fooled for a minute......the way you were talking, for a moment there, I thought you were the transplant physician."
And to Sam, "C'mon Samantha, let's get you upstairs where all your questions can be answered."
Sam and Carol left Nurse Ratchitt spluttering her objections to an empty room.
"Amazing, that nurse can sure find ways to prevent a transplant." the TC muttered under her breath. Sam grinned at her as they whisked her on the gurney up to the transplant waiting area. The surgeon stepped out of the surgical area not smiling at all.
" Well Sam. It is not good news. The kidney is too damaged from the car wreck to use. The other one has already been sent out of the area."
Sam groaned along with the Transplant Coordinator. " Awww.Hell."
Sam laid there on the gurney for a while trying to absorb this devastating news.
"how could it be?" she thought. "Twice in one day a chance for a new kidney
gone". She was so depressed. She finally remembered that Jim had brought her in
would be waiting in the waiting area. She would have to ask him to drive her home.
She would have to tell her parents the bad news. Then.........
She dressed into her civilian clothes out of the hospital garb. She said goodbye to the nurses and tried not to cry on her way out of the building. She ran into Jim as she crossed the waiting room and stopped in surprise.
"What are you still doing here?" she asked.
"Waiting to hear about you." he replied looking surpised. "What happened?"
" Nothing. Not one damned thing. The kidney was too damaged in the car accident to be used and the other one is gone to another county. Not meant to be." Tears cascaded down Sam's face.
Jim offered to drive her home. They walked out to his car in the parking lot.
"Let's just go get stinkin' drunk...." Sam said suddenly.
"What?" Jim said, "wait a minute."
"I mean it!" Sam cried,"I'm sick of this. I wanna be drunk and I wanna be drunk, right NOW!" She turned to Jim with her hands on her hips, just about stomping her foot. The look of surprise on his face stopped her and she realized how ridiculous she must sound and look.
"Ummmmm......I'm thinking that fluid restriction is not primary in your mind at the moment?"
"DARN right its not!" Sam looked up and down the street. Where's the bar that's always right around the corner from the hospital in all the medical shows? The one where all the interns meet after their shift to discuss who's going home with whom.........not a bar in sight.
"C'mon," she pulled on Jim's arm toward the Denny's across the street.
"Sam, I don't think they serve alcohol in there," he hesitated.
"No, but they've got chocolate malts and I'm having the biggest one they've got!" Sam declared and started across the street.
"Damn There's the Transplant Coodinator." Sam said as she and Jim entered the diner. "No chocolate shake tonight."
Sam turned around and she stalked out of the diner. Jim trailing behind her.
"I am so damned frustrated. It just isn't fair! I have to go back to my life." Sam yelled at the parking lot as they walked toward Jim's car again. Jim was silent. What could he say that would help? Nothing. It was pretty awful when you thought about it.
Sam pulled on the locked car door and stopped. Her head rested on the top of the car.
"You going to be all right?" Jim asked.
"Yeah. Take me home. I have dialysis tomorrow." she said.
They stopped next to his car. Jim put his hands on her face and told her how sorry he was. He took off his coat and put it around her shoulders. "Let's get you home. Do you feel like eating?" said Jim, as helped her into the car.
"Please..." whispered Sam, "I just cannot be alone right now." They got in his car and she told him how to get to her house.
She and Jim rode in silence. "I know I should call my mom, but I just can't." Jim reached down and held her hand. She felt a connection with him just then. Here he was, rescuing her again when she really needed someone. Somehow she felt like she had known him forever.
They got to Sam's place and went inside. Jim went to the kitchen to make something for them to eat as Sam headed for the shower.
Sam came out of the shower dressed in her robe and slippers. Towel wrapped up around her hair. Her face was still tear stained from the sob session she had done in the shower. Even with the radio turned all the way up in the kitchen Jim had heard her crying. He acted like everything was okay, when she appeared in the kitchen. It looked like he was preparing scrambled eggs until he dipped the bread into the eggs.
"Is French toast okay with you?" he asked.
"Anything is OK at this point. I don't even care." She sat at the table watching Jim cook the French toast, pondering what will happen next in this peculiar day. Jim brings her plate of French toast to the table in front of her. She realizes just how hungry she actually was and began scarfing down the warm, syrupy French toast. Jim watches her with stars in his eyes and a slight grin on his face. When she finishes, she looks up and locks eyes with Jim again, gazing into his very soul, wondering what he is thinking at this very moment.
"Penny for your thoughts" she said with a gleam in her eye. Jim started to speak and then paused, "I am just so happy to be here with you tonight. I've been wanting to get to know you for a while now, but didn't think I would have a chance." "Have a chance?" Sam replied. "Yeah, you know, with you. You are so amazing." "Amazing?" Sam Repeated. Her mind spiraled. What must Jim mean? Does he really like me, or is he maybe trying to lead up to leaving? Just then Jim took her hand in his and leaned over to her and said......
"What I mean is I just started down this road you have been on and I don't think I could handle it as well as you do! I can't help but be ... " she noticed that he was blushing now as he continued, "b- be attracted to .. to .. to how you handle yourself!" She nearly choked on her bite. She just stared at him in shock and said, "R-Really??"
"Yeah, really," said Jim. "You just never give up. Remember the fire at dialysis? You were ready to clamp and cut! And today, with being whipsawed with all the transplant drama, you just kept going. I don't know how you do it. You are wonderful," he grinned.
"Well, it may look like that on the outside, but on the inside I feeling like a raving maniac! Ohh...! And I didn't even thank you! I'm sorry... you came through when my car broke down... and you waited to be sure I was okay at the hospital. I am so grateful. On top of that, you make great french toast!"
Just then Sam's phone rang, "Honey, it's Mom. What's happened? You cell phone is off or dead and your dad and I are out of our minds with worry!"
"I'm sorry Mom, the transplant fell through. It's been a really tough day, but I am okay. I will call you tomorrow."
She hung up and turned around as Jim was getting his coat.
"No where are you going?" Sam said louder and more anxious than she intended to sound. Jim looked startled and laughed. Then he explained, "I thought you would be on the phone a long time so I thought I would give you some privacy." Then she followed his eyes to the phone. "Oh .. umm.. I let her go! I said I would call her back tomorrow," she said while realizing that her mom being sick with worry probably didn't appreciate her hanging up so fast. "I didn't want to be rude and we were in the middle of dinner."
"Well that is okay. I already finished eating anyway. Why? Did you want dessert? I can go get us something." He said smiling at her now. His smile made her cheeks grow warm and she didn't know why. Then she stumbled over her words but eventually said, "Yes I would LOVE to have dessert with you!" Then they both were blushing and laughing as he grabbed her coat.
The phone in the apartment rang again. Sam picked it up.
"Samantha, if you hang up on me, so help me I will come over there and tan your hind end." her mother's voice practically leaped through the phone into her ear. "Are you okay? Want me to come over tonight?"
"Mom, I am okay. I have a friend over with me tonight." Sam answered. She smiled at Jim.
"Okay. I know how disappointed you are. Things will work out, honey."
""I know Mom." Sam answered. "I am out the door going for some dessert right now. Love ya. Bye bye"
Sam hung up the phone. The phone rang again. Sam ignored it. Phone calls hurt too much today. She closed the apartment door and she and Jim went down the stairs to his car..