Men!!

[rsudock]

Again thank you for all your honest opnions I appreciate it so much....I just followed my heart and my guy and I parted ways...feeling relieved, scared, sad, and hopeful....can't help thinking "I my die alone on dialysis after all..." I know it is sick but that's the raw human emotion I have....

xoxox,
R

[Poppylicious]

Awww, I'm sorry to hear that R.

*huggles*

[boswife]

i admire your stength Rach...You are doing what your heart sais and not just grabbing hold so as....'not to be alone later in life' ..   If it is to 'be' then it will come around again, and it may be even clearer to you.  I love how you think and feel Rach. your a thnker AND full of heart too.  This may be one of those...." theres people for a season"  relationships, that you will always treasure it for what it was, but not the one to share forever with..  I dunno, I just send you all my best wishes always.... 

[rsudock]

Awww, I'm sorry to hear that R.

*huggles*

i admire your stength Rach...You are doing what your heart sais and not just grabbing hold so as....'not to be alone later in life' ..   If it is to 'be' then it will come around again, and it may be even clearer to you.  I love how you think and feel Rach. your a thnker AND full of heart too.  This may be one of those...." theres people for a season"  relationships, that you will always treasure it for what it was, but not the one to share forever with..  I dunno, I just send you all my best wishes always.... 

Thanks ladies...you know I am a trooper....being "sick" gives you perspective. Their are worse things that breaking up with a boyfriend...

xo,
R

[Grumpy-1]

my replies

1. What is the most important factor in a relationship? (work ethic, compatiable personalities, etc...)  open honest communications

2. Is it possible to keep that "head over heels in love" feeling throughout an entire relationship?  NO - it will be affected by simple misunderstandings, to tragic events that you don't have control over.  Each bump in the path,  and how you both react will change the relationship just a bit.  Sometimes (hopefully) for the better, sometimes for the worse.  you each will deal with that in different ways and that will change the relationship. As time goes on, that "head over heels in love" will change to just a wonderfull feeling of security, support, and acceptance. None of those are bad things.

3. How does marriage change people?  YES - when dating and courtship - you are always on your best behavior, look your best, act your best, etc. After marriage you fall into your comfortable routine and your spouse then sees the real you.  Hopefully, the real you and your dating best are very or somewhat the same.

4. Did you feel 100% ready to get married...how did you know?  Don't think so.  When you are ready to get married, you'll know but it will never be 100%.  There is always some questions and worries.  But those seemed to be pushed to the side.

5. If you could change anything about your relationship what would you change? (sex, chore distribution, work schedule?)  For me I would have liked to know how to please my wife sexually.  When I was young and dumb, it was "wham, bang and thank you mam"  I didn't know what to do to please my wife and I think our marriage sufferred because of that.  For her I think it would be more home chore distribution.  I went to work, came home, had my hobbies and play times, ate and slept.  She took care of all the house and the kids. Looking back that was not good for our marriage. BUT neither of us knew any better - came from the generation and raised by a generation that the man worked the woman ran the house and took care of the kids. 

Grumpy age 60 and 40+ years of marriage to the same wonder woman

[Whamo]

My wife puts a lot of though into gifts, so I try to do so as well.  If I got her an iron for her anniversary she would pull out every hair left in my left arm.  I always try to get her what she wants.  We have an anniversary coming up and she says she doesn't want anything, but I know she does.  I have a smaller gift picked out.  She loves cake, and they have these cake pop things at Walmart.   With one you can bake your own little cake pops like the ones they sell at Starbucks.  But that's just a $20 gift.  I need to find her something nice.

[billybags]

Whamo, aren't you the romantic!

[jbeany]

Whamo - why not a cake pop book to go with the pan?  bakerella.com is run by a fellow kidney transplant patient, and she has an awesome cake pop book.  (I have it - it's got great directions on doing the original version where you smush the cake with frosting and make the pops of the cake-clay.)