smcd23 thanks for your response, thankfully i deal with someone else now and they have been brill pushed all dads health tests through quick then finally did cross match operation is 2 weeks tuesday, but i always have in the back of my mind what the nurse said incase i ever need another transplant, i can remember going in feeling quite optimistic and coming out thinking ive 2 kids and blood transfusions i'll never get a match! How is your SO getting on now is he on the deceased donor list? That must've been upsetting that your kidney clotted off, did they not know prior about the clotting issue, was this his first major surgery? I'm on it but inactivated, just suspended there accumulation time incase the live donor option fell through. Don't know how soon after the op i'll go off it not sure how it works when ur suspended!