Dilemma

[GoingThere]

Hello everyone!

I have a dilemma. As you know I've been  on D since July 2010. And on transplant list since November 2010. No call till this day. 1 month ago national transplant coordinator was in my centre in told me that 75 % of kidney patients get a kidney transplant within 2 years. But he also informed me that non related living donor can be an option. This was a surprise for me as till that day all neph doctors claim that is not possible.

So I have a best friend who is 31 with a child who insists to donate me a kidney. Ok, we would have to do a match test. But if she is a match I could get her kidney. But I'm afraid. What if something happens to her? She has a small child. i would never forgive myself if something would happen to her.

So I've decided to wait another half a year to possible get a cadaver kidney. And after that start the procedure for non related living donor transplant. What would you do? Have you ever thought about possible bad consequences? What if something happens to her during operation? Or later in her life. She is still young and her child needs her.

regards,

Uros

[big777bill]

 Since it does bother you wait the 6 months and ease your mind. That's what I would do. God Bless, Bill

[billybags]

I agree with Bill.

[cassandra]

me too

[lmunchkin]

Her being young with a young child.   That is hard for anyone to decide.  If I were in your shoes (which Iam not), I would not do it!

God Bless,
lmunchkin
 

[jeannea]

There's nothing wrong with waiting if it makes you uncomfortable. You can always revisit your situation in a few months. And you don't even know if she matches anyway. You may be worrying over a non-possibility.

[Cordelia]

I was in the same boat as you. I had no family at the time that offered to donate other than my hubby.

A very close friend of mine offered her kidney and her child was only about a year old at the time. I felt guilty too. She opted in the end not to proceed due to her doctor advising her not to.  I was relieved for her and her child that she decided not to go forward being tested.

[lmunchkin]

But then on the other hand, if it is what she really wants to do for you, then what?  It is definately a hard choice! 

God Bless,
lmunchkin
 

[Sue]

Hi there I completely understand your dilemma, I have 3 sons all of whom have offered to be tested to see if they are compatible to donate a kidney for me. I just cannot get my head around allowing them to do that, I worry so much that something will go wrong for them either now or in the future because of it. I haven't started dialysis yet, so I guess I'm in a watch and wait place right now. If I were you I'd take my time and if it doesn't feel right then it's not right

[KarenInWA]

Bill, are you in the US? I ask, because I didn't think there were any nephs in the US who believed that non-related live kidney donation was not possible. Why do they believe that??? That is something that has been going on for years here in the US. After all, how many organ-transplant patients are related to their cadaver donors?  Why would that work, but not a living donor?

As for your choice in waiting, that is entirely up to you and what you are comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable with your young-mother friend going forward with this for you, there is nothing wrong with waiting further. Making a decision to receive a kidney, from the cadaver list OR from a live donor, is a very personal decision for each patient. Do whatever feels best and right for you!

I myself received a kidney from a non-blood-related relative (she married into the family) and things were going great up to a week ago, when a hematoma reared it's ugly head and pushed against my newly transplanted friend. I had emergency surgery to remove it, and am now recovering slowly. Creatinine has gone sky high, but is now slowly on its way down. My best advice to anyone - be careful with post-tx biopsies.

KarenInWA

[bleija]

My brother wants to donate to me, but my brother is weird about hospitals, he has always avoided them and is bvery uncomfortable in them. so pasrt of me really doesnt want to put him through it. he assures me he doesnt care just wants to do whatever he can to help give me a normal life. hes 22 and im  21, he doesnt have any kids. my husband and i discussed it, and i talked it over with my brother too, and decideded to let him get worked up, be listed, and see what comes first. when i told my boss about my decision... i told her that i was gonna take the most selfish choice and take whatever comes first. aand she stops me and say ur not being selfish, u've dealt with this for how long now, its not selfish.
whatever u decide, remember she wants to help you, and isnt reqally thinking about the worst case scenario. she just wants u to be better.... this is what my boss told me about my brother

[MooseMom]

Going there, I see that you are outside of the US.  I can assure you that living donation from non-related donors have been a feature here in the US for years.  As a matter of fact, with some types of renal disease, it is best NOT to receive an organ from a blood relative as there may be genetic component that is as yet undiscovered.

I will mention only one thing as this type of a situation happened to me.  Your friend might be willing to give you a kidney, but her husband may well not like that idea at all.  I don't know if your friend is married or still has a relationship with her baby's father, but if she does, he might not want her to do it.

[GoingThere]

Thank you for your answers!

I will wait 6 months.

Regards,

Uros

P.S.: I'm currently training for a small cycle marathon (97 km).