How to meet people and make new friends?

[KICKSTART]

If any of you have read any of my other threads then you will have some background info on me , if not ..... Recently moved , hubby left me when started dialysis nearly 2 yrs ago (not a problem ..lol) Prior to dialysis my life was horses, horses, horses , i ate ,drank and slept horses. I have had horses for over 35 yrs! However enter dialysis , exit horses. Ihave had to give up . But now the problem is having moved , and all my friends were connected through horses, i find that they have moved on , so to speak . Friends i have non-horsey (only a couple) are married and work full time and always busy!. When i do hear from them i usually get .."oh we didnt think to ring you, to do such n such , because we know you cant come because you have to do that dialysis stuff" Even though i have told them i CAN  come with a bit of notice! I think they feel awkward around me somehow, or thats how it seems, on the rare occasion i do see anyone. So whats the best plan of action for making new friends , i mean people i can actually do stuff with ...not that my new ' virtual friends ' on here are not fantastic !!!! Before you suggest evening classes , no thanks ,not my thing. Also im pretty shy ,till i get to know people. Any suggestions ?

[Rerun]

Go to a nearby stable and offer your assistance in training or something.  Don't give up totally on horses.  Sounds like you have a lot to give the community.  Maybe offer to help with horse shows. 

Just a thought.

[angela515]

What state do you live in?

[KICKSTART]

Hi guys i am in the UK ..sorry but have been told the risks of messing with horses outweighs the damage? i could do ..no heavy lifting..if i get on a horse only gentle walk , im sorry but i have owned/competed/broken/trained horses for years. Stables here dont work like walk in and offer help, they tend to employ school leavers for peanuts and dont want you on a yard unless you can 'muck-out' as well as muck -in. Its not a shortage of being involved with horses, its the restrictions make it very hard for me to be around them now ..much as i love them Its kinda like sitting someone in a wheelchair (who used to sprint ) next to a track and saying watch these races. Thanks for your suggestions though ..even horse charities dont have anything because i cant do the heavy/strenuous work!

[Epoman]

http://www.renalromance.com  I know it's a new site, but place your personal ad and see what happens. 

- Epoman
Owner/Admin

[kimcanada]

Hi Kickstart

Your post reminds me of what I moved from my hometown many years ago,  fitting into peoples busy lives seems harder as the years go by, I think that we also get fussier about who we want to be friends with.

What about volunteering?  Is that something that you might like?

Kim

[KICKSTART]

Thanks kimcanada , it is something that i have considered but ..there is always a but ! with doing home dialysis 4 x times a day , i dont have an awfull lot of time inbetween, which also makes it hard work! Possibly by the time i had travelled anywhere i would have to turn round and come back !  I dunno the solution and there is no easy answer i guess. Sorry if i seem negative to suggestions but its got to be something i know that i can reasonably do and fit around my dialysis. This site is brilliant and soooooooo supportive , but i have to admit i miss person to person interaction!

[KICKSTART]

Epoman ..er i have just got rid of one husband ..and i am in no hurry to find another !

[kimcanada]

I do know how you feel Kickstart,  when I was in Ontario I juts about posted someting in the newspaper looking for a walking buddy, but then I got nervous about who would answer such an add!

 

Kim

[kitkatz]

Literally run the grocery cart into someone else's cart and apologize and start a conversation with them. 
Go to the movies. Get here early and talk to people.
Join a church group.
Join Toastmasters in your area.  This a speaking organization.
Join my our local city council or whatever it is in your area.
Walk your neighborhood and be friendly.

[Sluff]

Literally run the grocery cart into someone else's cart and apologize and start a conversation with them. 

That'll get you shot(literally) around here.

[jbeany]

A book club, a crafting class, photography club - find something of interest that fits your new schedule, and you'll meet people there.  Seems like you need to find something to take the place of the time you were spending with the horses.  Find a new hobby, and you should find more friends to go with it, perhaps.

[angieskidney]

If any of you have read any of my other threads then you will have some background info on me , if not ..... Recently moved , hubby left me when started dialysis nearly 2 yrs ago (not a problem ..lol) Prior to dialysis my life was horses, horses, horses , i ate ,drank and slept horses. I have had horses for over 35 yrs! However enter dialysis , exit horses. Ihave had to give up . But now the problem is having moved , and all my friends were connected through horses, i find that they have moved on , so to speak . Friends i have non-horsey (only a couple) are married and work full time and always busy!. When i do hear from them i usually get .."oh we didnt think to ring you, to do such n such , because we know you cant come because you have to do that dialysis stuff" Even though i have told them i CAN  come with a bit of notice! I think they feel awkward around me somehow, or thats how it seems, on the rare occasion i do see anyone. So whats the best plan of action for making new friends , i mean people i can actually do stuff with ...not that my new ' virtual friends ' on here are not fantastic !!!! Before you suggest evening classes , no thanks ,not my thing. Also im pretty shy ,till i get to know people. Any suggestions ?

That is actually why I spend so much time here.

All of my friends hardly EVER visit except for 2 oddballs who 1 is from out of town (Toronto) but will be moving to California next month and the other is annoying. Actually both of them are but the other is worse.

I have another group of friends (they all are friends together but the first group is the non-drinking, restaurant eating, 50's movie watching, Sci-fi weird group and the other is the drinking, partying, stoner group) but I only see them if I go to parties they are throwing and I haven't been going to a lot of them because I find I drink more (non-alcoholic drinks) there as most of them smoke and my throat gets so dry.

My parents don't really visit but I do see them at least once a month to go other places (they pick me up). I hardly see my brothers unless my parents take me there as I have no car and neither do they.

I literally spend weeks without any visitors and seeing no one. I spend all my time on the computer playing computer games or talking to my fiance who lives long distance.

Sorry to go into my story here but I wanted to just tell you I can relate to you KickStart!  And to say I am here for you! I think we all are!!  

Also everyone here has great advice! Hopefully something will help! Are you also a member of the UK forums?

[Ohio Buckeye]

I've made a lot of friends at church.
Does your area have a community center or anything like that where
you can go overr to walk, exercise or swim or anything like that?
I like to go to the library, but haven't met anyone there.
It is hard in the winter here to get out.
It is hard to go it alone that's for sure.
I'm sure glad we have our friends at IHD.

[okarol]

I was thinking about my friend who is recently divorced. She walks her dogs twice a day, and there
seems to be a ton of people out doing the same thing. She ends up talking to a lot of people who
also have dogs, it's a very sociable and easy to do pastime for her.

Of course if you live in the snow, it's probably not that easy right now!