What can I expect?

[KiranCooper]

I hope this is the right place & if not I'm really sorry! I know my older sister has been saying for years now (5+) that she'd like to donate a kidney to my mom, but something always "comes" up. She wants to settle into college, then graduate college, and now it's settle into her new home with her boyfriend. I'm afraid my mom is going to die from something else while she's still busy with one thing or the next. My mom has been on Dialysis for 8 years now. I turn 19 in May and I'm glad my sister has entertained the thought, but I think my mom is too polite to push her (I know nobody should need to be pushed but I also know my mom hates dialysis) so I want to donate MY kidney.

I've thought a lot about it and I won't sugar coat anything and say I don't party, because I do. I'm taking a break from college at the moment due to personal issues but I'll be going back, and I'm living with her and moved out of my first apartment because it was getting harder for her to do things (like carry laundry or stand for long periods of time to cook, etc) and I just hate seeing her live this way. I'm 100% sure at this point it's what I want to do, but I go out with friends a lot - will I even be able to do that anymore? If not, it'd be okay. I'm just curious what I need to expect before and after the transplant.. I want to know the difference between what's rumor and what I really need to look forward to. All I know 150% is that I want to give my mom my Kidney as soon as I can start testing to see if I'm a match. We have the same blood type, but since I haven't brought it up to her yet (I want more information) I don't know what else I need to know.

Anything would be great! I must sound like a bonehead. I'm just a little fed-up at this point waiting for my sister to "get her life together." She's obviously unsure, and that's fine. I just hate how she's stringing my mom along instead of flat out saying if she doesn't want to donate. It's fine if she doesn't. It's not like anyone could be angry with her over it.  I just know that I'm sick of waiting, and so I can imagine how my mom feels. I want her to be around for me and if I can give her my Kidney to help her stick around a little longer, that doesn't seem like such a hard thing to do.

[Traveller1947]

Hi, Kiran, and welcome!  You HAVE come to the right place for help and support and information.  The good people here are very generous in sharing their experiences and you'll learn a lot by reading the boards and asking your questions.  I myself have no experience with transplant, but many here do.  All the best to you and your Mom!

[sparklelady]

Kiran, welcome!! You will find a ton of information here. The people are great and very knowledgeable. Your first call should be to your mom's doctor or transplant hospital. They will get you started and fill you in on all you need to know.
My brother donated to me a year ago and he is totally back to normal life.
by the way, God bless you for what you are doing.

[willowtreewren]

Kiran, all you need to do is contact your mom's transplant center and tell them that you would like to donate. They will walk you through the process and answer any questions that you have. They will NOT even tell your mother that you have approached them until everything is a go. That way, if you change your mind, there will be no pressure from your mom, or no disappointment, either. In fact, if your mom knows that you are going through the testing and you DO change your mind, they will simply tell her that one of the tests proved negative.

I think that living donors are wonderful. I wish you the very best in this process. 

Aleta

[billybags]

KiranCooper    to the site.

[MrsFishy]

Hi, Kiran!  I am in the process of trying to be approved to donate a kidney and have also been looking for information on what I can/can't do pre-donation.  I do know that the entire process to become approved can take 6-9 months before the actual donation takes place.  I was told that I do not need to have any special diet to follow or dietary restrictions.  As a precaution, however, I am not going to drink any alcohol before I donate unless I find out I am not a qualified donation candidate......in which case I'd probably go drink myself under the table!  LOL  I haven't had any alcohol since Sept. or Oct. so it won't be any big deal for me to wait.  Not entirely sure what you mean when you say that you "party" but if that involves any marijuana, that may be something that has to be ceased entirely for a certain period of time before donation.  I think the forms I had to fill out on my initial questionnaire asked if I had used any within the last 6 months. 

As far as post donation, I have read numerous pamphlets and web sites that say donors will not have any dietary restrictions but I have seen some say that drinking only in moderation is advised.  I suppose that's advisable regardless of whether we are donors though.

[Poppylicious]

  Kiran!

Going out with your friends won't have to stop.  As MrsFishy says though, they will ask if you are a regular user of recreational drugs or have used any within the last 'howevermany' months.  If you've had any tattoos or piercings within the last six months they won't start testing you, and likewise, you'll be advised not to get any as it stops the whole process again for six months.  (At least, that's how it is in the UK, and I'd imagine that's pretty standard throughout the world!)  They'll ask about your alcohol consumption, but I wasn't told I needed to stop drinking (but then, I rarely drink ... we decided my average was about two to four units a week and they were happy with that.)

Even though it didn't affect me (I donated to my husband) at my initial *I want to donate* meeting I was informed that sometimes it's discovered (through bloodwork I assume) that you may not actually be related to the person you want to donate to (I'm assuming this mostly affects father/child and sibling/sibling, but don't know) and if you're not do you want to be told the truth.

You obviously also need to be aware that going through the process of being tested could potentially throw up some medical issue which could affect you in the future, or already be creating problems.  I looked at that as a good thing because at least I'd find out before it got to the stage where perhaps it was too late, so to speak.

As Aleta says, your mum doesn't even need to know yet; just contact her transplant centre.

As for your sister, have you sat her down and had a good old heart to heart about it?  Perhaps she needs to hear that no-one is going to blame her for not being ready yet and that if she's changed her mind then it's best to get that into the open. 

Oh, and you don't sound like a bonehead!

... if I can give her my Kidney to help her stick around a little longer, that doesn't seem like such a hard thing to do.

It's not, but it might be a bit painful!

Hope it all goes well for you - keep us updated!

 

[Rerun]

Hi Kiran and welcome to IHD.  Would you please go introduce yourself and maybe a small part of your story.

http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?board=14.0   Thank you!  Just hit "new topic" and go for it.

Looks like you have to stay clean for six months and then you go donate girl.  You are the best.  Just go do it.  You will live a full life with one kidney. 

Rerun, Moderator   

[jshabanian]

You sound like a daughter any mother would be proud to have! 

My friend donated a kidney to me and the only restrictions the transplant team suggested to her was not to engage in extreme sports type of activities.  Things like skydiving etc.  You want to avoid activities that put you at a high risk of damaging your remaining kidney.  Other than that her life is the same.  She does sports, dances, drinks etc. 

The transplant team will screen you so thoroughly that they will find anything that would make it dangerous for you to donate.  When you are done with screening you will have a clean bill of health, if you pass.  It is not an easy thing to be a donor because the standards for health are very high.

I agree with an earlier poster that you should contact the transplant nurse and she will answer all your questions and pre-screen you.

Good luck!

Janet

[smcd23]

Hi Kiran! I donated a kidney to my SO back in 2008, at the time I was 25. I had some minor recreational drug use in the past (and if you do, DENY IT or call it "youthful experimentation" as I did lol) and at the time I was drinking sort of regularly, like a drink or two every other night. I think I told the transplant team I was a "social" drinker. Why did I tell white lies? Well I figured the work up is so intense, they would have picked up any problems that might have happened from my past. Post surgery, I was told I could still drink, and I did on occasion. But honestly I found after donation I really wasn't that into it anymore. Sort of made me appreciate what I had, and I will now have a beer or two on a social outing, but nothing like I had been.

After the surgery you will both be sore. But that goes away after about 2 weeks. I was cleared to go back to work after 2 or as soon as I could put pants on because anything but yoga pants bothered the incision, but I stayed out for 5 I think anyway just to be safe. I have no diet restrictions or anything like that. They basically just want you to eat a well balanced diet - no protein loading. They also recommend not getting pregnant for a year. I sort of broke that rule too lol (was pregnant about 4 months later). Also you won't really be able to take Advil or any other NSAID's that go through the kidney, so basically you will be limited to tylenol or prescription meds, and that sort of stinks because tylenol doesn't always cut it.

If you want to shoot me a PM I will be more than happy to answer any questions you have. Donating my kidney was one of the best experiences of my life, and if you're healthy and able, I think it's a wonderful, selfless and caring thing to do. Not everyone sees it that way which is sad, but it truly was an amazing, life changing experience!