Look at all the new faces! It looks like a new generation has joined up. For those who ask what this is all about; too bad, I'm not going to explain. Awright, a small update. I am the resident zombie. The AMA has tried to kill me a dozen times and it remains debatable about their success. Worse, I survived dialysis.Soap Opera: As the pervious episode closed, the Hunter-Killer nurse was tromping through the forest looking for me. Damned if she didn't find me. There I was, still in my jammies lounging on my "kick-your-feet-out" chair. The front door shuddered, the doorbell range and Auggie the Chihuahua guard dog, prepared for an attack. Arf! Alas, Auggie barked but his tail wagged. I'm gonna fire that dog one of these days.It seems this nurse wants to stick no less than four needles in my butt. Second choice was in love handles. First of all this infusion of Immunogloblin takes two hours and I don't want some strange woman gazing at my butt for two hours with four needles plus four tubes hanging out where the sun shines, well, not when my wife is there. Second, my love handles represent a substantial investment. It cost big bucks to get them love handles up to proper size. So, being master of my world I said, "Stick 'em in my arm. Two here, two over there." Na, na, na, whine, groan and there isn't enough fat." Having been a longtime powerlifter, I checked my arm; there was a drooping tricept from ten years of doing nothing. "Stick it there". She likes my arms, that was nice. I flexed my arms for the remainder of the day.I survived but she taught my wife how to stick those needles and all of whatever else they do. Nurse came here for three Mondays (I get this infusion once per week) indefinitely. They said the same thing about renal failure (two weeks to live) and dialysis (three times per week for life) but I beat both of them. I beat my fourth major cancer and you people are stuck with me. Birthday next month.
Not enough mischief around here. How can I tell? I was just sitting here pressing the "go up" button followed by the "go down" button. It wasn't exciting.
Hello all:It has been a while since my last post. As I gaze around the room I see an entirely new generation of potential victims for my satirical appetite. Oh yes, I was a dialysis impatient patient for eight months. Then I went on strike. No longer do I have to put up with nurses who fart and walk away, or do water calculations and argue with the nurse about it, or watch right-wing TV on a postage stamp size monitor, and I do not have to beg to be unhooked so I can stroll to the restroom to take a whiz. Now I have kidneys that function at 35% of normal. I pour water in and water comes out, what more can I ask.What have I been doing? Chasing women, trying to get off Facebook, chasing women, involved in politics, and I'm trying to grow a few veggies during this drought thing. On the other had I still get immunoglobulin infusions once a week for a suppressed immune system (caused by chemo). Needle Hell - four of 'em. Then my doctor has me lifting weights again. I'm 76 years old. And they put me on a diet - does anyone have a donut? Send it UPS to me. Okay, I sold all my Harleys because my eyesight has almost disappeared. Macular Disentigration. (sp). Hearing is gone and hearing aids made me cough. But I am here ladies. So, what do we have to drink?Kootie J
How did I beat dialysis?I don't know. A few years back my upper abdomen suddenly grew large. My GP told me I was constipated but it turns out it was three cancer tumors that decided to grow large. Got very tired, went into hallucinations and they wheeled me into the hospital and was immediately diagnosed as having experienced renal failure. Cancer and renal failure all at once, my lucky day. Still hallucinating, they wheeled me into surgery and pounded some sort of catheter into my chest via the collar bone. Immediately was placed on dialysis. I woke up and saw some gruffy looking fellow reading a women's magazine. A machine was grinding away next to the bed and to my horror I was connected to this monster machine that sounded like a coffee grinder. At this point I didn't know what my medical problems were. Mr. scruffy told me.Later that day they started chemo. It was some sort of "anti-body" juice. My Oncologist said it would "knock down those tumors" quickly but I would remain on chemo for about two or three years. I stayed in the hospital for a week then I got up and left. The hospital didn't like that and they sent a cop to my home to talk me back to the hospital which is thirty miles away (I live in the forested mountains). Chemo lasted two years but it destroyed my immune system so I get these immunoglobulin infusions every Monday. I stay away from people because they cough a lot.Those hallucinations were a whole story by themselves. If interested I'll tell you.I spend my time on the computer now even though I have trouble seeing the keyboard and reading those two over-sized monitors, and I am all about politics since politics was a big part of my career. (Retired City Manager) And I am seriously concerned about the these United States and its future. After eight months of dialysis and arguing about how much water to take out, I demanded a test to see if I could exit that place. I passed with 20% kidney function. In the next several months those kidneys improved to about 35-40%. And here we are.
I Hate Dialysis Message Board
I Hate Dialysis Message Board
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