Gerald Slept Here!

[willowtreewren]

Support coming your way from here in Tennessee.  Have had you on my mind today as I have sat in my hyperbaric chamber getting super oxygenized....

Take care, Gerald!

[aharris2]

...I always liked approval by smile because it helped me, and being a Liberal, it helped others too...
The odds are two to one in my favor, and having survived ten months of this, I can beat this too - - okay, that’s what I’m telling myself.

Gerald, forget about the numbers, they are history. You beating this thing will change those numbers - an even greater percentage surviving. Medicine moves forward and outcomes improve.
You already have a leg up on survival - a diagnosis, a good doctor fresh out of medical school who will be up on the latest innovations, and you yourself - informed and ready to fight.

Here are some smiles for you:          

[Gerald Lively]

Wow!  If your feet were sticking out I should have been there to mercilessly tickle your tootsies.  Then, after finishing with that, I coulda' played "this little piggy went to market . . . . "

gl

[Gerald Lively]

A small story I posted on another forum:

How do you shop in a town that has no grocery stores?  If you live in Yakutat, Alaska where there are no connecting road to any other community and no store larger than a 7/11, you have a problem.

Here is what we did:  We called up Fred Meyer (by old-fashioned telephone) grocery store in Juneau, about 500 miles away, and asked them that very question.  By mail, they sent us a catalogue of everything in their store which included hardware, pistols, rifle and ammo. We called back and placed our order, got a price/total and sent them a check.  Two days later our groceries arrived on Alaska Airlines.

That worked so well that we called up Sears and bought a chest freezer in the very same manner.  Then we located a butcher shop near the Juneau airport and ordered $1,000 of cut to specs beef and wrapped for freezing, all by Alaska Airlines.  All of the stores paid the freight.

I didn't have to deal with a checker.  That was in 1989.

[Hemodoc]

A small story I posted on another forum:

How do you shop in a town that has no grocery stores?  If you live in Yakutat, Alaska where there are no connecting road to any other community and no store larger than a 7/11, you have a problem.

Here is what we did:  We called up Fred Meyer (by old-fashioned telephone) grocery store in Juneau, about 500 miles away, and asked them that very question.  By mail, they sent us a catalogue of everything in their store which included hardware, pistols, rifle and ammo. We called back and placed our order, got a price/total and sent them a check.  Two days later our groceries arrived on Alaska Airlines.

That worked so well that we called up Sears and bought a chest freezer in the very same manner.  Then we located a butcher shop near the Juneau airport and ordered $1,000 of cut to specs beef and wrapped for freezing, all by Alaska Airlines.  All of the stores paid the freight.

I didn't have to deal with a checker.  That was in 1989.

Gerald, we lived up in Nome from 1966-1968 and got groceries and supplies three times a year shipped by boat. I remember well our Sears and Montgomery Ward catalogs. They worked just fine with no internet at all. In fact, Nome only had two small towns we could drive to and no TV at all in those days. When I was 10 years old, I could walk into a store and buy pistol ammo just with the money in hand. Times have changed.

[Gerald Lively]

Monday.  Today wasn’t just any old Monday, which is bad enough without embellishment, but today was “Triple-threat Monday”.  The past week wasn’t going to get any praise either, having learned that I have some health difficulty called Pulmonary Embolism.    Health difficulty are my words;  which means, some parts of my lungs aren’t doing the job.  What could be worse than that - - a triple-threat Monday would be worse.

And that triple threat is:

1.   Ultra-sound of the legs.  Here is how this chip falls; a pulmonary embolism is a blood clot, you know, like dried up blood.  When a blood clot is in a vein the normal blood flow is interrupted.  Ehh, so what?  These rascally blood clots usually get their start in the legs, although it can come from anywhere. The clot breaks off and floats to the lungs or the heart and there it stops up the works.   This could be a by-product of surgery, stubbing your toe during your usual wild domestic Thursday night orgy, or something like chronic bronchitis.  Yep, the legs.  That is the usual case.  Your doctor wants to find where it came from so he can deal with it directly.  If the clot has already broken off, it is properly called a Pulmonary Embolism; before it deposits itself in other parts of the body, it is a thrombosis something or other.  Well, the news is, they didn’t find anything in my legs, which means, the original clot is somewhere else and is much more difficult to locate. Uh oh!
2.    Ears, the ones on the side of my head.  Got a hearing test today, the one with the beeps, tones and bells.  I had one about fifteen years ago and back then, they said I had only half of normal hearing.  The Doctor said 60% today.  “Alright,” I said with a certain amount of jocularity, “my hearing improved.”  Yep, my doctor knows a wise-ass when he sees one.  After the appropriate eye-roll, he says, “Your pointy little ears are 60% deaf.”  Then he tells me all about his recent vacation in Wisconsin and how great the fishing was.
3.     Of course, this doctor didn’t stop there, he is the guy who looks up my nose into my sinuses and says, “Boy, you have a bad case of the snots.”  Ya see, it was last week when he took a CT scan of my head to see if he could find anything.  Some would say there isn’t anything there, but this Doctor, a guy who goes all the way to Wisconsin to catch a fish on a freezing day, wants proof.  His CT pictures are the proof he is looking for, it shows trouble.  Sinusitis, he says gleefully, tossing out these medical terms right any left.  He wants to operate. Tears filled my eyes. I asked for a Kleenex. I blew my nose in it – but it failed to clear out those sinuses.

By golly, the Sun is still up and it is still Monday, and I have wasted three downs – I’ve gotta punt.  That means taking the time to think about all this.  Yep, I’m thinking. 

[skg]

Bummer of a day.

Don't know about the others, but sinusitis is an old nemesis. Doctor's comment after the CT scan, "Well ... your sinuses will never be normal ...."

Their rule of thumb (or maybe it was just based on my particular, abnormal sinuses) was that so long as I didn't have four or more sinus infections requiring antibiotics in a year, then it probably wasn't worth operating. Since then (20 years or so) it's only been one or two a year, so I've kept my abnormal sinuses just the way they are. A combination of flonase and sudafed has worked most of the time. The infections did get markedly less frequent after my daughter with the cats got her own place. And I haven't had one since my kidneys started acting up back in November. (Good thing, since I don't think I'm supposed to take sudafed anymore.)

I'm kind of surprised the transplant team hasn't told me I need one (or more) tests to get that part of my head checked out. (Aargh, I suppose I should bring it to their attention and make sure they didn't overlook it in the medical history. )

Hope everything works out quickly and well for you. And the rest of the week is bound to be better than Monday!

cheers,
skg

[Grumpy-1]

Gerald  Just wondering,  How do you cope with it all?   I going to a dermatologist Friday. I'm trying not to predict what the outcome will be, but can't help thinking the worst. (skin cancer)  If that turns out to be the case, I have almost decided to "QUIT"  To continue with dialysis until the cancer gets too bad and then quit dialysis and let nature take over.   How do you do it?   Grumpy

[Gerald Lively]

Grumpy-1;

[How do I cope?]  I don’t know how to answer that one. 

I have had cancer four times, five if you want to count a minor skin problem, and I have lost count on the number of times I’ve been put under for surgery – one of those was a radical prostatectomy lasting four and a half hours and four days in the hospital and it ruined everything.  I had an eye surgery for cataracts and they didn’t put me under enough and, yes, I felt the cut on my eyeball and I’m told I verbally expressed myself, grabbed the surgeons arm and I don’t remember anything after that. It was all over in minutes. The eye doctor says she’ll never forget that experience but will not repeat what I said.  Inquiring minds want to know!

By far the worst medical experience I’ve had was dialysis.  The process eats away at your defenses.  If you happen to be the type of person who is slow to recover, then your one day off between dialysis sessions is not enough, under ordinary circumstances.  This isn’t the slippery slope we hear about, it is, instead, it is a relentless repetition of a process that you know with absolute certainty, will not cure you of your kidney ailment. You’re the half-dead fish on the stringer.  That message was brought home one day when my dialysis nurse farted then walked away.  I couldn’t walk away.  I was tied to a machine, stuck in a chair and I couldn’t hold my breath long enough to avoid the flavor of my nurse’s internal colon atmosphere.  There I was, a prisoner suffering a torture worse than waterboarding.  I’d been fartorized.  Listen carefully, I just revealed how I cope.

Look for the irony, find the humor, then find a way to express it all. 

Your reaction to what I write is saving me.  Your nonmedical reaction helps me minimize the forthcoming trauma.  And isn’t that what this forum is all about?  Take a few moments and think about it; this is a mind trick, a way of taking your conscious thoughts off your problems even if it is only slightly off-point from the actual problem.

If they have you stretched out on a gurney headed into surgery, sing, or tell an off-color joke - - anything that takes your mind off anything serious.  Invent something – (MooseMom is my mother) // cariad is an international drug dealer // HemoDoc is an NSA operative and his name is a code //  and Michele Bachmann wants your body but can’t find you.  Do you want me to set you up?)

Go ahead, ask me a question, ask anything.  Without a doubt I won’t know the answer.


gl

[willowtreewren]

Love you, Gerald!

Lots of folks need a dose of your attitude for a better life! 

People keep asking me how I stay positive.... I dunno.....it beats being negative! 

Chin up and keep them wondering!

Aleta

[galvo]

'a relentless repetition of a process that you know with absolute certainty, will not cure you of your kidney ailment.' Gerald that is the most wonderfully accurate description of this barbaric process we undergo in order to continue our miserable existence!

You are not only a gentleman, Sir, you are a wordsmith.

[Gerald Lively]

I'm being spoiled here.  All of you are much too nice to me.  Uh . . . don't stop!

[Grumpy-1]

Thanks Gerald.  I too enjoy your thoughts and ramblings.  Yes a positive attitude helps, and finding humor in things works too.  I also find that helping others helps me.  It takes my mind and thoughts away from me (you know the self pity party) and focus on someone else.   Thanks again for the the thoughts, we'll see what the Friday Doctors visit brings.  Grumpy

[boswife]

                                              oo
                                          o        0
                                       o     g l     o
                                         o        o
                                            oo

ok,,  thats a big personal hug around ya gl.... And actually, that took all my extra brain for the day so hope ya really feel it    

[Gerald Lively]

My wife is into style, the latest, although her preferences do no extend into clothes.  I can be thankful for that much.  She likes “gizmos”. A few weeks before Samsung came out with their fourth generation cell-phone or “pocket computer that can control the World”, she bought me a Samsung #3 cell-phone. 

Normally I do not use a telephone, since I cannot hear very well.  I certainly don’t call anyone.  Until lately!!  Yes, I have actually picked up that cell-phone and dialed a number because - - - - - it is a hell of a lot easier to fumble through the dialing pattern than it is to walk all the way to the far end of the house.  Uh huh!  That’s correct, my cell-phone has become an inter-com system.  Explanation?  Okay!

The house is a hundred feet long and I converted the garage area into a rather sophisticated quilting room – where my true love spends endless hours.  The computer I sit at is an old fashioned PC Dell that I took to the computer hot-rod shop where I put on new rims and tires, had a precision valve job with two large monitors and chrome exhaust pipes running up the bookcase where this system resides. I sit there a lot.

I might have made six or seven inter-com calls during the last six months. 

Consider the plight of the NSA Analyst assigned to the task of monitoring my cell-phone;  He/she had to get every word exactly correct.  If my NSA analyst is a she, there is most likely a lawsuit in the works to put me away for sexual deviancy, at the very least there is concern at the NSA about me and throat cancer.  That leaves five other unchallenged phone calls.   Hmmmmm! 

The Founding Fathers most definitely had me in mind when they wrote the 4th and 1st Amendments.  It wasn’t just concern for my right to privacy, rather it was worry about my potential for corrupting the world.  Already we see that the Secret Service cannot resist a good looking Ho.  They talked with Pinch and he made the arrangements for the big “get-together”.  That’s his job.

Not enough for ya?  Just check out your history book;  Tapping my phone was all under control until someone “leaked” my calls to Bill Clinton, and you saw what happened there.  Right in the middle of her blue dress.  I own the patent for the cigar trick. 

And there is the problem;  those NSA geeks will steal your ideas and will get rich, and no one will know where the idea came from. Hey, it can happen!  So, I’m opposed to phone-tapping.




gl

[cariad]

If they have you stretched out on a gurney headed into surgery, sing, or tell an off-color joke - - anything that takes your mind off anything serious.  Invent something – (MooseMom is my mother) // cariad is an international drug dealer // HemoDoc is an NSA operative and his name is a code //  and Michele Bachmann wants your body but can’t find you.  Do you want me to set you up?)

(*anxious giggle*)
Yes, what an imagination you have, Gerald! International drug dealer, me? It's funny because it's so preposterous. (*inappropriately loud laugh*) Also, my kids are certainly not highly trained drug mules whom I sent to Spanish Immersion school so they could blend in seamlessly at the Colombian airport, nor is my husband learning karate so he can earn the respect of the Yakuza. (*wipes brow*) Finally, references to "organic produce" or "herbal blends" are not code for anything at all.

Now that that's settled, let's never bring the subject up again.

[brenda seal]

Gerald using your cell phone as an intercom is far superior to the wireless door bell system we have in place in this house . However , I will not suggest using your idea to Laurie as I would be very afraid of the possible consequences if ASIO

[brenda seal]

were to tap our phone line !!!

[Gerald Lively]

MRI brain scan tomorrow AM.  Looking for brain damage from continuous syncope (fainting) over the past year. 

[natnnnat]

I doubt they will release the results to you Gerald, but it sounds like they will go straight to the NSA

[willowtreewren]

Good thing you say you don't hear well. Those MRIs are noisy.....and I think that is where they get the sound effects for many scifi movies.

 

Aleta

[Gerald Lively]

At first I recognized that I hadn't been here in some weeks, so I wasn't surprised that I had to sign in anew.  So, I did.  The website computer tells me that I'm not known around these parts.  I do it again, this time carefully typing in each letter and number.  Nothin'  A tiny window tells me to poke at a certain link for a new password.  What happened to the old password?  I do it again.  If did it this many times with my old girlfriend she would have declared me Superman.

I try the new password.  The website doesn't like it, it seems there must be a mix of upper and lower case letters and some numbers.  New password and I am finally in.

Hmmmmmm!  I forgot what I was going to post.

[galvo]

Still in fine form, Gerald!

[Gerald Lively]

I signed in, registered my quip and the next day the website wouldn’t let me in.  Try as I might, I was on the outs.  It was either: (1) my humor had gone stale; (2) I had bad breath; (3) the mechanics at the website were on strike; (4)  HemoDoc and MooseMom got married. 

Then, as if the sky opened up and the Sun sent rays of enlightenment through the dark dense clouds, I remembered my password.  Yes, I am becoming an old fart.  So, here I am with nothing to say.

Boogie!

gl

[Gerald Lively]

If you haven't seen the old movie "Hysteria", watch it if you see it on your movie menu.