SEX! Yes, I said it lol lol

[texasstyle]

With out going into any personal details, for the most part can men on dialysis take a pill for, you know.......lol.  Or is it not safe for a dialysis patient to take. If it's not medically/physically safe, what are the medical reasons for that? In my mind I'm thinking it may really mess up the BP.  Sorry for the embarrassing question, but it's important to me if you feel open enough to sharing your thoughts/experiences with it. Thanks.

[RichardMEL]

ha! I bet you KNEW I would be drawn to a topic like this from you dear TS!!! 
 

I can't add much to the question unfortunately because well.... I never got to that situation - mostly due to lack of appropriate opportunity most of the time, but the rest of the time I didn't need a pill so much (that part wasn't the problem  ) - the whole low hemoglobin/energy part was. I can't say that I heard of any problems with having the little blue pill but obviously it would be important to run by the neph.

I just want to say though for you/hubby - this is a pretty common issue amongst renal patients from my reading and understanding and while it's (ahem) hard to bring up when talking to docs, I think it best to bite the bullet - they've heard it all before really and it is a reasonable question to bring up.

I wish you and Mike all the best in this dept!!

 

[iketchum]

I have had to try a number of little pills for the problem, and none did the job. The pump was a disaster too, wont go into details there. I hope with the transplant something will improve.

[jbeany]

I could be wrong, but I don't think Viagra works by increasing blood pressure.  It works by making muscles contract that constrict blood flow in the wrong direction.  That's why it was being prescribed to help those with gastroparesis who were having problems with reglan, the usual med/muscle contractor that helped speed along digestion.

[Poppylicious]

Sex?  Sorry, I don't understand ... what is this?

I hope with the transplant something will improve.

Hehe! Yep, me too.  (But with my blokey, not with you.  Obviously! Although I'm sure you're lovely ...)

 

But seriously texie, I have no experience with pills so can offer no advice.  Good luck!!

[Traveller1947]

texasstyle: Kudos to you for asking an embarrassing question.  Here's a short answer: there's no particular reason that dialysis patients in general can't use Viagra.  If there's a reason it wouldn't be a good idea for your husband to take it, e.g. heart disease, takes nitroglycerin, etc., the doctor will tell you that when you ask about a prescription.  It isn't always helpful, however...All the best to you.

[billybags]

Well Tex, we tried the little blue pill once. Had a script for 4,    3 still in draw  It was so funny we sort of sat waiting or lying in bed waiting for some sort of reaction, did the usual things, but nothing happened, we could not stop laughing. haven;t tried it since. I would say give it ago, then through the rest of the pills in a draw or may be not. LOL

[mcclane]

I think it is more of a mental thing.

With all that goes on with a dialysis patient (dr appts., hospital demands, time issues or lack of time), there is alot of stress.  I feel rushed in anything I do, just so I can allocate enough time for myself as free time plus have enough time for dialysis.  As well, the doo dads the hospital installs on a patient (pd catheter, central line catheter for hemo) is not sexy at all.  Looking at the mirror, having this catheter hanging off your gut or chest is unappealing and sexually unappealing.

I just feel with everything that goes in a dialysis patient's life, sex is the last thing on their minds.

[billybags]

mcclane,I am sorry that you feel that way, I am used to seeing my husbands cath dangling, it is part of him now. It does not get in the way of sex, there are ways around this.I am just pleased that now and again he can manage it. Bless him.

[tbarrett2533]

As well, the doo dads the hospital installs on a patient (pd catheter, central line catheter for hemo) is not sexy at all.  Looking at the mirror, having this catheter hanging off your gut or chest is unappealing and sexually unappealing.

I second this right here!!!
I do not feel very attractive at all anymore, in fact one of the reasons it took me so many months to decided to do PD was the fact that I was going to have a 12 inch power cord (thats what my BF calls it  ) hanging from my stomach......My BF claims that he does not have any issues with this, but I really do!!!!  its sad, b/c I really enjoy sex, just do not feel comfortable about it anymore 

Thank you kidney failure for taking just one more thing from me that I enjoyed, oh how I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mcclane]

mcclane,I am sorry that you feel that way, I am used to seeing my husbands cath dangling, it is part of him now. It does not get in the way of sex, there are ways around this.I am just pleased that now and again he can manage it. Bless him.

my wife takes the same view, but from a patient's point of view, it is not attractive at all.  Looking at the mirror and seeing stuff hanging off of your chest/gut area, that last thing I am thinking of is sex (being a guy, fancy that  ), but the first thought that crosses my mind is yanking that thing outta there.    (tempted, but no, I wouldn't actually yank it outta there)

I guess we are all influenced by what we see in movies, ads, and yes, sexually explicit material.  People we see engaged in such activities don't have catheters dangling from their bodies, they are all neat and clean, no medical apparatus hanging off anywhere.

So you compare them and yourself, and it just doesn't seem right.  Before having anything installed onto me, i did feel sexy, I did feel intimate, but with all these tubes and crap hanging off me, I just don't feel it anymore.  Maybe it'll change once the central line is removed, who knows. 

I know loved ones will accept you for who you are, and not the physicality, which is a good thing.

[mcclane]

As well, the doo dads the hospital installs on a patient (pd catheter, central line catheter for hemo) is not sexy at all.  Looking at the mirror, having this catheter hanging off your gut or chest is unappealing and sexually unappealing.

I second this right here!!!
I do not feel very attractive at all anymore, in fact one of the reasons it took me so many months to decided to do PD was the fact that I was going to have a 12 inch power cord (thats what my BF calls it  ) hanging from my stomach......My BF claims that he does not have any issues with this, but I really do!!!!  its sad, b/c I really enjoy sex, just do not feel comfortable about it anymore 

Thank you kidney failure for taking just one more thing from me that I enjoyed, oh how I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's too funny, 12 inch power cord !!! 

i just called it a PITA. 

[RichardMEL]

billybags - I reckon if I was in a similar situation as you and hubby were(are) I'd be laughing (and waiting) too!!! I just loved thatpost because I could picture it (er well, not literally!!! ) but just the idea of waiting for something to happen and laughing at the situation.

bottom line for me: if you can't laugh you'd probably cry, so I kind of like how you, ahem, handled it (but I'm sorry it didn't help ).

[texasstyle]

Thanks for all the replies. I've thought about the physiological impact as well and I'm glad to see some of  the points of view as well. I guess it effects both partners psychologically because sometimes I'm the one who  feels yucky about myself. Hey, I thought sex was supposed to only be confusing to teens! lol

[HouseOfDialysis]

I've noticed a few changes in my wang fu since starting dialysis in February. I've noticed a decreasing hardness when we start the art of wang fu, and as the session goes on, it wanes more and more. We start out harder than a Dying Fetus album, but then we wind up finishing at like Simon & Garfunkel.

[texasstyle]

Oh yikes House. Hope it doesn't turn out to only be a Barbara Striesand "Memories" for you. lol   

[Lindia]

I've got a suggestion that may apply.  Kidney problems really play havoc with hormone levels.  My hubby got his testosterone level checked several years ago - and it was LOW, and this was before starting dialysis.   Its like pulling teeth to get the doctors to check this hormone. 

In fact, they've checked it once, years ago, made a prescription for some "andro gel"  and haven't checked it again.  We occasionally have problems with insurance - refusing to pay, and it is a hassle.  But -  it has been worth it for us,  not just for sexy time, but also to help with low energy and feeling tired.   Any male having these problems may want to have their testosterone level checked,  that can be another part of the puzzle.

[billybags]

I've noticed a few changes in my wang fu since starting dialysis in February. I've noticed a decreasing hardness when we start the art of wang fu, and as the session goes on, it wanes more and more. We start out harder than a Dying Fetus album, but then we wind up finishing at like Simon & Garfunkel.

that made me laugh so much "the art of wang fu  I love it.

[Brightsky69]

I can't be the only one...sex is something I have no interest in what so ever.    On dialysis...no interest, 2nd transplant still no interest. It just seems like work.

[tbarrett2533]

I can't be the only one...sex is something I have no interest in what so ever.    On dialysis...no interest, 2nd transplant still no interest. It just seems like work.

I think this depends on the person just like any other illness.....shoot I remember my ex father in law who was 80 on his death bed was still wanting sex   

I also think that some people just want/like sex more than others!!! its normal....no two people are alike!!!

me... I love it!!!! and I hope that I continue to have a high sex drive b/c I think its very healthy and a great workout too 

[Brightsky69]

tbarrett - I use to like it.  Maybe I need to get me some hormones 

[Lindia]

tbarrett - I use to like it.  Maybe I need to get me some hormones 

Yes -  get them checked, if they are normal, you'll know.   If they are LOW -  you can feel a lot better.

[Annig83]

@tbarrett-  Just wanted to let you know I feel your pain... I too have the power cord, and my boyfriend as well, doesn't care that it's there.  He's ready to go whenever    but I am the one who is self-concious.  How do you feel sexy when you need to be plugged in?   

[tbarrett2533]

@tbarrett-  How do you feel sexy when you need to be plugged in?   

I do CAPD and that is one of the reasons why I am a little scared to do APD....... I don't want my sack sessions timed.... "ok hunny before I plug in, lets get it in."  thats for the birds..... I want sex when I want it, I don't want it planned out!! I am just so worried about the way I look, and I really should'nt be considering my BF really could care less... hes not thinkin about my power cord, hes thinkin when am I gunna get it in LOL