to ginger...with love

[statesidela]

hi there ma'am my name is bren how are you today? great she tells me i say that is good because i want you to be in a good mood when u stick me..i see her smile...i tell her you have such a pretty smile ma'am...she nudges me on the arm and says stop calling me ma'am...i say yes ma'am with a cheeky smile i ask what should i call you she tells me my name is ginger i think to my self i have never attually met anyone named ginger but never the less i can tell she is really cool and i really want to get to know her more

sittimg in my chair all hooked up ginger comes by she grabs her little chair and sits by me we get talking about all sorts just really general chats at first...before i know it my time is up...the next time i goto dialysis i am kinda hoping she is there again...this lady is so so gorgeous a beautful smile nice big brown eyes and she has an amazing heart

anyways i don't remember if she was there that day or not but whenever she was working it really made my days we would talk for hours so much so i was worried she would get fired for spending time with me i felt guilty about it but deep inside i loved the conversations we would have and just be honerd to be spending time in her presance

my marrage was really bad at this time so i was more than happy to be spending time with her and i guess the inevitable happend i fell for her in a big way...we would talk and laugh and we had so much in common conversations would get very flirtatous at times

i was always worred that she would get fired because of the time spent with me and i worried about other techs overhearing our coversations if she got fired that would really suck for me and her

one day i arrived way to early she was off work that day but she was there visiting her daughter in law...sarah she is a tech too...we get talking as we usually do i sneek around the side of the building for a sneeky cigarette ginger being a smoker too comes with me and we smoke cigerettes, talk...flirt etc..i think to myself i have a few minutes she is here i am here we both like each other i should kiss her...she is talking away to me and i just gently grab her chin i put my lips to her sweet lips she was waring lip balm i guess cause all i could taste was sweet strawberries mmm i am in heavan she sticks with it for a minute or two then pulls away she says i am sorry i have to go and she briskly walks away to her car and drives off and i went on to do my dialysis and i was so happy the rest of the day

that day my wife picked me up she was being a bitch to me screaming and talking like a crazy woman per usual nothing new there but i could not care any less because i was just happy and had not been that happy in a long time the wife used to always accuse me of cheating i never did cheat on her to till that day if only she knew huh?

the next time i saw ginger everything was still the same between us which i was kinda releaved at because i was not sure if she regreted it and i did not want to lose our friendship we never talked about it but i knew with the way she looked at me that she enjoyed the experance with me we continued to talk and flirt up until i quit dialysis i miss her and wish i could have went out with her outside of the dialysis thing but i have never seen her since i quit i think i should write to her and let her know i am ok and maybe we could catch up again some day i know for sure i would love to make love with that sweet angel

so this is my story of ginger my dialysis tech who would have thought it would have happend i know it was the last thing i thought that could have happend but i am glad it did

[monrein]

This may just be me and my crazy boundaries talking  BUT, in my opinion, Ginger should have been fired for inappropriate behaviour with one of her patients and a married one at that. 

[statesidela]

smiles i respect your opinion monrein and you are probably right hence the reason i was so worried about her getting found out about our connection...i am not one to live by boundaries but i can not help wonder why segregate your self from possibilities?...besides it was me that was the one pushing the the so called "boundaries"

its just a story of a connection two people had and at that time in my life i was glad to have it...if this lady was fired i think it would be a great loss to our center as she was great at her job had a big heart and was awesome with all of her patients...who would have been more hard done by if she was fired?...it would have been us the patients loss as good people are few and far between

take care for now

Bren   

 

[paris]

Any close environment can create an intimacy that seems so right.  My son-in-law has a high position and has lots of contacts with female employees.  Yep-- just like you, he " fell in love".  He is packing and leaving his wife and their 4 children in the next 10 days.  His excuse "she makes me feel good about myself".   So, he is turning his back, will not consider any counseling or therapy and is leaving my daughter high and dry -------and since everything is in her name (house, credit cards, etc - because she has great credit) he is not responsible for anything.  My daughter's lawyer said last week that it wouldn't be worth the time or money to sue him.      So, I appreciate your writing.  I think you are great expressing yourselve.  All I could think about was your wife who has stuck by you through kidney failure.   Keep up your writing, but please understand you may stir up feelings and get responses that won't be nice.     And did you ever think that the tech was paid to be nice and take care of you?  It was her job.     I'll end this post because it is upsetting for me.  You say "..a time in my life and I was glad to have it"  Wonder if your wife was glad too?    I'm sure she is a great tech---but she should have been fired. There are rules for a reason. #1 rule, don't get involved with a married man.  If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.

[statesidela]

hi there paris thank you for you post i love it i am also truly sorry to hear about your daughters situation your son in law is a very....well i won't pass judgment on that but i am sure we are all thinking the same thing on that......i also won't get into the the rights and wrongs of the situation between me and ginger.

my wife who you assume who has stuck by me through my kidney failure....we might still be together if that was the case but never the less my marriage was over the day she told me she wishes she had left me to die when my kidneys failed i believe i said a few words about this in my other posts have a look for more insight i may get more into the details of my future posts but i feel marriage does not relate to this site so i don't feel right about posting it here...maybe one day

i do understand the fact that i will stir up emotions that is what i am trying to achieve i want to hear your reply's negative or positive  they make me question myself and give me something to think about which is a good thing and your reply was from the heart i love this and thank you for that.

would i have cheated if i was in love with my wife? no i would not have...i had many an opportunity during my ten year marriage to be with many beautiful woman and i turned them down...so on that note i will leave you to decide!

thank you again soo much for you thoughts about the situation

take care for now

bren

[paris]

I do enjoy your style of writing.   You have a gift and you make things seem very real.   Reading it just came at a very sad time in my life.  I struggle with the thought that a man can just fall in love and move on.   An age old problem.

I've probably been married longer than most on this site. What I have learned through the years, is that the level of love ebbs and flows. But behind that ebb and flow is  promise I made years and years ago.  To be faithful.   Remember Jimmy Carters quote about "lusting in his heart?"     I appreciate a fine looking man, so I don't go as far as Jimmy.   

There are many members who have had their spouse leave them when they were diagnosed. It happens with lots of major diseases.  It takes a while to "get to know" each others stories, and we all have one.  The funny thing is, I amnot the one who usually speaks out!!  I am more of a peacemaker!!    Back to my nice girl mode             Keep writing - I know people like reading your posts.  And the creator of this sight wanted this to be a safe place to say what is on our mind without censorship.         

[YLGuy]

I do enjoy your style of writing.   You have a gift and you make things seem very real.   Reading it just came at a very sad time in my life.  I struggle with the thought that a man can just fall in love and move on.   An age old problem.

That a person.
I have more of a problem that the excuse of, "well, the marriage was over." If it was in your mind then you should have filed papers before you started looking. 

Very touchy subject for me as well.

[paris]

You are right, YLGuy.      My husband keeps reminding me that women do it too.   It is hard for me to understand why a person doesn't put their house in order before moving on.   My daughter can handle a marriage not working out, but not "I was bored, she was good to me"  What lame excuses.  End the marriage - make things right before hurting more people. 

I said I wasn't going to say more, but here I am again!    I need to go work on IHD things for the Vegas meeting!     

[Meinuk]

This is life.  It is messy, people often get hurt and sometimes the wrong people make you feel wonderful.

I was trying to explain "love" to a fourteen year old yesterday.  She is in the "in love with being in love" romantic phase of her childhood.  I can easily relate (I really never grew out of that phase...).  But then I reminded her that being in love is also a lot of work and responsibility.  We talked about relationships that have worked over the years and those that didn't, and why they didn't.  We talked about letting go and moving on rather than staying and being miserable if you're not going to work at making it better. I hope that she makes wise choices in her future relationships; and if she doesn't, I hope that she has the emotional support to survive life's rough patches.

When I read that post, I thought to myself, once upon a time, that screaming woman in the car was in love.  But somewhere along the line, communication was lost.  You can't communicate by just being louder. You have to be prepared to listen too.  Who can hear anything when there is screaming? Yes, her husband was emotionally cheating, but did she really think that yelling at him would make him want to be with her more?  Screaming at your spouse/boyfriend is a passive aggressive way to push them away. Think about that ladies when you want to rip your man a new one.  Every time that you yell at him and don't really talk to him, there is a Ginger somewhere who will listen to him.  (and men, the inverse is true too, if you feel the need to constantly berate the person that you "love" well, would you want to be with you?)

Relationships are a lot of work, I can attest to that, I have plenty of failed ones under my belt. But I also live by the credo that when a woman suddenly finds herself single, the only words that come from her lips should be "Next".  Move on with your life and don't dwell on what is over. If it couldn't be fixed, then just move on.

Paris, I feel for your daughter.  My family has had it's share of running off with the secretary.  But we have also had our share of being that secretary.  Life is messy, and we laugh, cry and ultimately move on. I hope that your daughter can get some closure from this, and that he steps up to the plate with his financial responsibility.  I say attack him on the financial responsibility, but emotionally, he is the other woman's problem now.

Oh, and a GREAT line that I heard in London years ago was "When a man leaves his wife for his mistress, he creates a job opening".