So frustrated Just want to rant dont mind me!

[gothiclovemonkey]

 
Why in the heck do I have to care? I wish I could be the heartless person, the uncaring person, the jerk for once in ym life!
I am getting calls and texts from my ex, my sons father, the same man who i call and text often trying to get him to have a part in his sons life, but he never answers, UNLESS he wants something... and it never has anything to do with his son.

Tonight he messages me... I am going to be homeless.. i need u ...
WTF am i supposed to do exactly? I am SO thankful i moved in with my father officially, otherwise I KNOW what he was getting at! (he would have known that had he bothered to answer my calls and texts!)
And as a side note, hes going to be homeless because him and his gf always fight, physically/mentally, and it gets bad, so bad they leave marks on each other. So I guess hse got a restraining order on him.. which means there are 2 MORE kids without a father. He was violent with me, so i dont really feel sorry for him... but  Am I supposed to care? Am i supposed to rush to his side? I dont think so. But why do I feel so bad for him? Why in the heck do i WANT to help him? why do i even love him? it makes absolutely no sense at all.
WHen they get into fights he calls me, tells me he wants me and misses us and loves us, and blah blah blah, I of course say well ur son loves u and misses u too but yet he never comes by, and when he does its waaaaaaaaaaaaay later than any child would ever be awake (so u know why hes there right?) GAH! SO SICK OF IT!

Why cant i find a decent man who isnt a using abusing jerk face? am i a loser magnent?! And people wonder why i chose to be single and celebate ha now u know

Sorry, I had to throw a fit. If anyone has advice on that, id be happy to hear it, but i was mainly just needing to rant there ...

[MooseMom]

Love knows no real rationale; you can love someone but can't live with them.  You can feel bad for them, feel sympathy, feel a whole host of things, but what is important is what you DO.  When you love someone who is so self-destructive, not to mention abusive to you and possibly dangerous to your child, is to stay far far away.  I'll make it simple for you...you have a duty to keep your son safe, period.  Nothing else matters.  Your feelings for your ex don't matter.  Your sympathy for him doesn't matter.  Don't let all of this noise distract you from your goal, which is to keep yourself healthy and to be a good mom to your son.

[gothiclovemonkey]

I totally agree! And that is why we arent together now! I didnt trust him not to kill me or hurt him. When i got out of the hospital from having my son,*by c section* he kicked me in the stomach for wanting to drive MY car....
its just sooo frustrating to feel this way. i know that ill always love the jerk, but at the same time i dispise him. why did i stay with him for sooo long?
I cant hate him, he gave me the most beautiful gift ever, an amazing little boy. And in some ways im glad i get to make all the decisions all by myself. It just sucks for jareth not to have the father... but hes got my brother and grandpa!

[Willis]

I didnt trust him not to kill me or hurt him. When i got out of the hospital from having my son,*by c section* he kicked me in the stomach for wanting to drive MY car....

All I have to offer (besides my sympathy) is to recommend that you also obtain a restraining order as soon as possible. This man, no matter how you feel about him, seems to be unpredictably violent. Now that he is "out on the street" it seems to me that puts everyone around him in danger. If you feel the need to help him (though I don't think you are obligated to do so), then help...but do it remotely or through third-parties and don't let him get within striking distance of you or your kids.

Any male can walk and talk big when he knows that weaker and more vulnerable family members will be intimidated and not strike back. That makes him less than a man. However, I'd guess he appears to be a really great guy when in social situations. But he knows of course that if he got violent with somebody he doesn't know or have control over that they just might kick his ass. A real man lives up to his responsibilities and would never, ever abuse mentally or physically a member of his own family. Sure, a couple even then may come to the point of divorce for some reason, but a real man still lives up to his responsibilities.

I'm sorry you've has such bad luck with men. But believe me, there are good, kind, honorable, hard-working men out there who respect women. They won't be perfect or look like magazine models, but if you set your standards high when it comes to good character, I believe you'll find the man you are looking for. Just keep in mind that when "hunting" for a mate, you have to do like any hunter and go where the game you want is located. You would never hunt for lions in Siberia. I won't get any more specific than that, but if you put your mind to it you will come up with some good ideas for where to look. 

 

[MooseMom]

You don't have to hate him.  You don't have to do anything at all except to stay away from him.  He's a master manipulator, and ultimately, you have control over what kind of contact, if any, you have with him.  And yes, it is too bad for your son, but he will be OK with you as mom.

[jbeany]

My ex wasn't abusive, just stupid.  I finally had to stop answering his texts at all.  Block him from your phone if you need to.  Just cut off all communication.  I know that seems harsh for your son, but the man is not being a father anyhow.  All he wants is that power over you.  Don't let him have it.

[gothiclovemonkey]

I totally agree, and I battle with, should i tell him to bug off for good? it can not be healthy having him come in and out of my sons life like that, and making false promises!

I know that there are great men out there, and hopefully when i lose more weight and make myself more pretty maybe one of those great men will notice me haha

"You would never hunt for lions in Siberia." ROFL i agree infact told my friend something similar the other day!

(side note, i met my sons father while getting gas at the gas station, ran into a friend of mine, he was with him!) and yes he was the "everyone likes and befriends" type, and when i was a good girl and did everything he told me to do, he was a great bf.... as strange as that sounds...

Thankfully he is afraid of my family now, so im not too worried about it, now that i live with my dad! lol sooo thankful i moved in with him!!!
 
and for the record models are my type i like dorks haha

[cariad]

I know that there are great men out there, and hopefully when i lose more weight and make myself more pretty maybe one of those great men will notice me haha

Oh, would you stop, you gorgeous young thing, you!

Girl, please, if you cannot have confidence in yourself looking like you do now then I am going to bet that that might be the crux of the possible "loser magnet" problem that you mentioned. Abusers can sense the people who will and will not tolerate their foolishness, and lack of confidence in yourself is going to be their dog whistle. It makes the loser's life so much easier when you go and underrate any aspect of yourself. Stop.

And I would take some of the other fine advice you've been given above when it comes to dealing with your ex. Good luck!

[gothiclovemonkey]

 
i think im purdy... ish...but i need some work

and totally going to take advice on the ex hes an idiot and im sick of his crap!