I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 28, 2024, 10:20:41 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
532606 Posts in 33561 Topics by 12678 Members
Latest Member: astrobridge
* Home Help Search Login Register
+  I Hate Dialysis Message Board
|-+  Dialysis Discussion
| |-+  Dialysis: Humor, Pictures, Stories and Poems
| | |-+  Good dialysis is like good lovemaking		 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 Go Down Print
Author Topic: Good dialysis is like good lovemaking  (Read 17499 times)
jester
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 26
« on: January 15, 2007, 11:47:51 AM »
Good dialysis is like good lovemaking
The longer, the better
The slower, the better
The more gentle, the better
The more "frequent", the better

Richard  C/O  Jessie







EDITED: Moved Thread to Proper Topic: Dialysis: Humor,Pictures,Stories and Poems - Sluff, Moderator
« Last Edit: January 15, 2007, 05:14:13 PM by sluff » Logged
Epoman
Administrator/Owner
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3368


Want to help out? Become a Premium Member today

WWW
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2007, 04:33:11 PM »
Quote from: jester on January 15, 2007, 11:47:51 AM
Good dialysis is like good lovemaking
The longer, the better
The slower, the better
The more gentle, the better
The more "frequent", the better

Richard  C/O  Jessie

WRONG SECTION, PLEASE STOP THE DOUBLE POSTINGS, AND POST IN THE CORRECT SECTIONS, WE HAVE TO KEEP FIXING YOUR THREADS. - Epoman, Owner/Admin.

THREAD LOCKED
Logged
- Epoman
Owner/Administrator
13+ Years In-Center Hemo-Dialysis. (NO Transplant)
Current NxStage & PureFlow User.

Please help us advertise, post our link to other dialysis message boards. You
Sluff
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 43869
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2007, 05:42:36 PM »
Thread Unlocked with Permission from Epoman - Sluff, Moderator
Logged
Rerun
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12242


Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2007, 08:04:09 PM »
Dialysis is like sex:    Get it over with!

                            :wine;
Logged
kitkatz
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 17042
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2007, 08:36:17 PM »
Quote from: Rerun on January 15, 2007, 08:04:09 PM
Dialysis is like sex:    Get it over with!

                            :wine;

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
jester
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 26
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2007, 09:42:20 AM »
Well thanks glad you like it but the words are not meant to be a poem

We believe the author, a heavy weight in the dialysis community and champion of the nocturnal cause, did not intend to have his words misinterpreted and taken in a sexual context. But merely his way of conveying a factual  message to  those who haven’t a clue about options available to them. I guess you could/should compare nocturnal to lovemaking and likewise compare PD.. CAPD, CCPD and in-center hemo   to raw sex..... ya that wam- bam sort of thing  Jester
Logged
Sluff
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 43869
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2007, 07:14:12 PM »

Quote from: jester on January 15, 2007, 11:47:51 AM
Good dialysis is like good lovemaking
The longer, the better
The slower, the better
The more gentle, the better
The more "frequent", the better

Richard  C/O  Jessie




This was posted earlier here:
« Last Edit: January 17, 2007, 07:17:08 PM by sluff » Logged
jester
Newbie
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 26
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2007, 10:40:34 AM »

Hi

Yes I see that..... it came from another site that I had posted at in.... November... the original author Dr. John Agar.. Geelong clinic... Australia " nocturnalhaemodialysis.org"     had given us  ( Jess and I ) permission to use it....

Richard  C/O  Jessie
Logged
Treasure
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 183


Dialysis Schmalysis!

WWW
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2007, 07:19:09 PM »
Hmmm. Well, in my mind-boggled state, those words are puzzling to me because I have had neither good dialysis nor good sex in a long, long time.
Logged
You may worship me anytime you like... go ahead...bow down.  Now! Ok, I'm hungry, go get the grapes.  What? They're not chilled. You're useless! Ok...I'll forgive you...this time hehehe
boxman55
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3635
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2007, 05:32:12 PM »
Quote from: Treasure on January 19, 2007, 07:19:09 PM
Hmmm. Well, in my mind-boggled state, those words are puzzling to me because I have had neither good dialysis nor good sex in a long, long time.
Hi Treasure- I am trying to figure out which problem I need to help you with >:D
Logged

"Be the change you wished to be"
Started Hemodialysis 8/14/06
Lost lower right leg 5/16/08 due to Diabetes
Sister was denied donation to me for medical reasons 1/2008
bluedove57
Jr. Member
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 90
« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2007, 09:41:38 AM »
 :o Can't compare love making to dialysis. Would much rather have the love making than sitting in that big green chair stuck on a machine. At least with love making you can move all over the place.  :2thumbsup;
Logged
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #11 on: March 30, 2008, 07:38:01 PM »
Quote from: Rerun on January 15, 2007, 08:04:09 PM
Dialysis is like sex:    Get it over with!

                            :wine;


 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;    :clap; :clap; :clap;
Logged
jbeany
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 7536


Cattitude
« Reply #12 on: March 30, 2008, 08:39:28 PM »
Nope, sorry, not buying it.  Even boring sex is better than good dialysis!  >:D
Logged
"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.
kitkatz
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 17042
« Reply #13 on: March 30, 2008, 08:47:26 PM »
I think it all depends on what you are really doing in that chair for four hours!
Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
flip
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1742
« Reply #14 on: March 30, 2008, 08:55:22 PM »
I think it's a frequency issue....if I had sex as often as I have dialysis, I might be a happy camper.
Logged
That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
kitkatz
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 17042
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2008, 08:57:37 PM »
Quote from: flip on March 30, 2008, 08:55:22 PM
I think it's a frequency issue....if I had sex as often as I have dialysis, I might be a happy camper.


Me too!
Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
jonn r
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 154


my little girl maiah

WWW
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2008, 10:03:11 AM »
Quote from: kitkatz on March 30, 2008, 08:57:37 PM
Quote from: flip on March 30, 2008, 08:55:22 PM
I think it's a frequency issue....if I had sex as often as I have dialysis, I might be a happy camper.


Me too!



yes and it would never last 4 hours....... :beer1; :beer1; :beer1; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Logged
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #17 on: April 10, 2008, 10:23:56 AM »
 :rofl; :rofl; john r  :rofl; :rofl;

                                                    and if it lasts four hours the commericals say to go to the ER     
Logged
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #18 on: July 22, 2010, 10:46:40 AM »
 :bump;  :lol;
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Riki
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3408


WWW
« Reply #19 on: July 25, 2010, 09:02:50 PM »
well, the viagra commercial does say that if the erection lasts longer than 4 hours to seek medical attention... if dialysis lasts longer than 4 hours, I'd be seeking attention as well.. of the nurese.. to get me off the damn machine
Logged
Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
RichardMEL
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 6154
« Reply #20 on: July 25, 2010, 09:03:51 PM »
Quote from: Riki on July 25, 2010, 09:02:50 PM
well, the viagra commercial does say that if the erection lasts longer than 4 hours to seek medical attention... if dialysis lasts longer than 4 hours, I'd be seeking attention as well.. of the nurese.. to get me off the damn machine

I do 5 hour treatments. What are you trying to tell me?!
Logged


3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #21 on: July 25, 2010, 09:31:30 PM »
Quote from: Riki on July 25, 2010, 09:02:50 PM
well, the viagra commercial does say that if the erection lasts longer than 4 hours to seek medical attention... if dialysis lasts longer than 4 hours, I'd be seeking attention as well.. of the nurese.. to get me off the damn machine

 :rofl; :clap;
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
RightSide
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1117
« Reply #22 on: August 11, 2010, 07:12:12 PM »
Dialysis is like sex:  Try not to fall asleep in the middle of it.
Logged
Stoday
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1941
« Reply #23 on: August 11, 2010, 08:42:23 PM »
Dialysis is like sex:  I have it three times a week.

I should wish!  :rofl;
Logged
Diagnosed stage 3 CKD May 2003
AV fistula placed June 2009
Started hemo July 2010
Heart Attacks June 2005; October 2010; July 2011
Des
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2318
« Reply #24 on: August 12, 2010, 06:13:19 AM »
Just get "it" in, but keep the lights on.!
Logged
Please note: I am no expert. Advise given is not medical advise but from my own experience or research. Or just a feeling...

South Africa
PKD
Jan 2010 Nephrectomy (left kidney)
Jan 2010 Fistula
Started April 2010 Hemo Dialysis(hate every second of it)
Nov 2012 Placed on disalibity (loving it)
Pages: [1] 2 Go Up Print 
« previous next »
 
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP SMF 2.0.17 | SMF © 2019, Simple Machines | Terms and Policies Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!