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Author Topic: Pregnancy while on PD  (Read 23135 times)
shay_pcb
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« Reply #50 on: January 15, 2007, 05:16:01 PM »

I am SO glad someone out there finally understands where I am coming from. I am sorry you had to go through that. I know that had to be hard.

I will keep everyone updated. Only 9 more days till I talk to my doctor. I will listen to what he says, since HE is the one who went to medical school...LOL
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« Reply #51 on: January 15, 2007, 05:55:46 PM »

I am SO glad someone out there finally understands where I am coming from. I am sorry you had to go through that. I know that had to be hard.

I will keep everyone updated. Only 9 more days till I talk to my doctor. I will listen to what he says, since HE is the one who went to medical school...LOL

WOW, I really resent that statement. Myself and others went to the school of "Hard Knocks" real life experiences living with kidney disease. I did not read about kidney disease in text books (well I have but you know what I mean) like a doctor, I had on the job training. I don't care IF you did put "LOL" after the sentence, if you didn't mean it you wouldn't have said it in the first place.

I have just lost a lot of respect for you. :thumbdown;

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shay_pcb
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« Reply #52 on: January 15, 2007, 06:10:24 PM »

Oh, PLEASE don't think badly of me!! It was meant for ONE person, I just didn't want to mention a name, bc I'm not mean like that. Yes, you all, and I, have been through a lot, but I haven't found anyone on here that has ALL of the same problems. What I meant was that my doctor will know best bc he knows ALL of my conditions and the last part was supposed to be a smart-ass comment toward one person, who I won't mention. I'm sorry you took it that way!! *GEEZ* I feel like I'm just making a mess of things!!  :-\
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« Reply #53 on: January 15, 2007, 06:20:11 PM »

Oh, PLEASE don't think badly of me!! It was meant for ONE person, I just didn't want to mention a name, bc I'm not mean like that. Yes, you all, and I, have been through a lot, but I haven't found anyone on here that has ALL of the same problems. What I meant was that my doctor will know best bc he knows ALL of my conditions and the last part was supposed to be a smart-ass comment toward one person, who I won't mention. I'm sorry you took it that way!! *GEEZ* I feel like I'm just making a mess of things!!  :-\

Ok, I understand, it's just I am real protective of my members. I just feel that real life experience is better than any paper degree, believe me I have met some "clueless" doctors in my time WHO have gone to medical school. But don't worry I am not mad at you. I am glad you took the time to explain yourself. But you are correct your doctor knows your situation more than us.

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mallory
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« Reply #54 on: January 15, 2007, 06:20:48 PM »

Shay_pcb, All any of us can ask is that you talk to your doctor and either follow his advice, or, if you don't like it, get another opinion.  It's been my experience on more than one occasion, that after the second opinion, it may be time to face reality.  So I'm glad that's what you're doing.  I do understand how you feel, I really wanted to have children as well, but I have a lot of medical problems, also, and it just wasn't the right thing for me to do to have a child.  You're right, that isn't fair.  But if life was always fair, none of us would have the problems we have and you and I could have a dozen healthy babies if we wanted to.

I am glad you brought this topic up, it's inspired a lot of comment.  I did feel bad about your LOL concerning our posts, we're only trying to help with the experience we have.  And, Epoman is correct, you might be surprised how much experience some of us have.  Try reading more of Stauffenberg's posts, you might even be surprised at the medical  backgrounds of some of the members of this site.

Best of luck to you!
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shay_pcb
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« Reply #55 on: January 15, 2007, 06:28:06 PM »

I don't even need a 2nd opinion. I LOVE my nephrologist!! He's been my doctor for the past 3 years, so whatever he says I will definately listen!
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mallory
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« Reply #56 on: January 15, 2007, 06:34:27 PM »

That's good, shay_pcb.  My Nephrologist is very good, too, and I'd listen to him, even if I didn't like what he said.

I believe you can have a successful transplant and a baby, and I'll be praying that you do!  :grouphug;
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« Reply #57 on: January 15, 2007, 07:15:15 PM »

Nope, sorry you are wrong Laura, people will be judged, that is the nature of the beast when it comes to Internet Message boards, everyone will have different opinions and views on different issues.

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So wouldn't those rules apply to everyone?  I mean, if others can speak their minds and tell this young woman she is selfish for wanting something that most people want out of life - then why can't I express the opinion that, while having a baby at age 19 is not the best choice to make, I certainly don't judge her for wanting to eventually have a child?  Or is this a place where only certain opinions can be openly expressed?




EDITED: Fixed Quote tag errors - Epoman, Owner/Admin
« Last Edit: January 15, 2007, 08:19:18 PM by Epoman » Logged
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« Reply #58 on: January 15, 2007, 07:35:08 PM »

Ahhhhhh  I couldn't fix all your quotes, so I put ****** to draw a line to your response.  Too many quotes!

I just have to say that it won't matter what your Nephrologist says because you only hear what you want to hear.  After reading Melshell's LIFE story you found it encouraging.  I was in tears reading it and then read your reply and it didn't even make a dent in your quest. 

You say you will listen to your Nephrologist, but if he says "Your baby would be born with horns and a tail" you would say "ok let's have a baby."   :banghead;

I just hope your baby is born and you live because I wouldn't want some other mother or father to put its head under scalding water and no one to protect him/her.  Honey you have lots of problems that should not be passed on and they aren't all going away if your die.




EDITED: Struckout first sentence, since I fixed the Quote tag error - Epoman, Owner/Admin
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shay_pcb
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« Reply #59 on: January 15, 2007, 08:07:18 PM »

I don't have that stepdad anymore, so that won't be an issue. I don't hear just what I want to hear. I almost cried reading that too. I didn't find it encouraging. I was just saying that I'm glad someone else knows exactly how I feel bc no one else seems to understand that I can't help wanting it so bad. She understood that. I take all the stories I hear in, but they aren't going to change my mind. Everybody is different. Just bc a few other people had problems doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to have problems. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I will have plenty of problems, but there is always the possibility that the baby could come out just fine. Just like with healthy people there is always the chance that their baby could come out screwed up. I mentioned this before. I was one of those sick babies born to healthy parents. Life works in mysterious ways. Nobody knows whether ANY baby would come out healthy or sick.
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« Reply #60 on: January 15, 2007, 08:24:04 PM »

Nope, sorry you are wrong Laura, people will be judged, that is the nature of the beast when it comes to Internet Message boards, everyone will have different opinions and views on different issues.

- Epoman
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So wouldn't those rules apply to everyone?  I mean, if others can speak their minds and tell this young woman she is selfish for wanting something that most people want out of life - then why can't I express the opinion that, while having a baby at age 19 is not the best choice to make, I certainly don't judge her for wanting to eventually have a child?  Or is this a place where only certain opinions can be openly expressed?


Of course laura, you can tell her how much you support her and even give her advice, you have EVERY right to openly express your opinions on this matter. Speak your mind. Has someone told you that you can not?

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« Reply #61 on: January 15, 2007, 08:28:18 PM »

Wow, pregnancy on any kind of dialysis. I'll tell ya a little story, keeping in mind I'm old enough to be your mom. I have been a hemodialysis patient  for 13 years, a few months after I went on dialysis I asked my Dr. about having my tubes tied. I do have three grown children all born well before dialysis life. He told me I no longer needed birth control because of dialysis there was no way I would be fertile anyway. Trust the Dr, right? Well, 9 years later: I was sure I must be going through menopause. Being pregnant was impossible so it had to be menopause. After about two or three months of this things were getting out of control. My pants no longer fit around me. I'm 5' 2" and 100lbs soaking wet. My weight was increasing, I was soooooooo.... tired. Finally, secretly, I went to an out of the way pharmacy not be recognized in the pregnant test section. I couldn't believe it! I was pregnant! The first person I contacted was my nephrologist, the second was my family Dr for an appointment. We didn't read that little stick wrong, I was pregnant. They quickly made me an appointment for an ultrasound, like the next day, Shay that was the worst experience of my life. Here was a full view picture of a very mature little fetus, 4 months 2 weeks. But no movement, no heart beat, no nothing. My body on dialysis could not support me and a baby too. I know your very young and nature says you need to have babies. But honestly, it's a lot harder road than your thinking. You know if it's meant to be for you some day it will happen. Don't put so much pressure on your self and certainly don't let other people do it too you. In the end the decision is yours. These many years later I still feel so bad about what happened because I knew a lot longer deep inside there somewhere that it really wasn't menopause. Now I live with a little guilt of the what if, what if I went a little sooner, was it something I did wrong besides dialysis. I find dialysis a slow form of torture, don't put a little baby through that. Just my thought..... :(
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« Reply #62 on: January 15, 2007, 08:39:45 PM »

Wow, pregnancy on any kind of dialysis. I'll tell ya a little story, keeping in mind I'm old enough to be your mom. I have been a hemodialysis patient  for 13 years, a few months after I went on dialysis I asked my Dr. about having my tubes tied. I do have three grown children all born well before dialysis life. He told me I no longer needed birth control because of dialysis there was no way I would be fertile anyway. Trust the Dr, right? Well, 9 years later: I was sure I must be going through menopause. Being pregnant was impossible so it had to be menopause. After about two or three months of this things were getting out of control. My pants no longer fit around me. I'm 5' 2" and 100lbs soaking wet. My weight was increasing, I was soooooooo.... tired. Finally, secretly, I went to an out of the way pharmacy not be recognized in the pregnant test section. I couldn't believe it! I was pregnant! The first person I contacted was my nephrologist, the second was my family Dr for an appointment. We didn't read that little stick wrong, I was pregnant. They quickly made me an appointment for an ultrasound, like the next day, Shay that was the worst experience of my life. Here was a full view picture of a very mature little fetus, 4 months 2 weeks. But no movement, no heart beat, no nothing. My body on dialysis could not support me and a baby too. I know your very young and nature says you need to have babies. But honestly, it's a lot harder road than your thinking. You know if it's meant to be for you some day it will happen. Don't put so much pressure on your self and certainly don't let other people do it too you. In the end the decision is yours. These many years later I still feel so bad about what happened because I knew a lot longer deep inside there somewhere that it really wasn't menopause. Now I live with a little guilt of the what if, what if I went a little sooner, was it something I did wrong besides dialysis. I find dialysis a slow form of torture, don't put a little baby through that. Just my thought..... :(

See this is what I am talking about, a piece of paper from a medical school doesn't always mean the doctor knows what he talking about. Brenda I am so sorry you had to go through such an event due to ignorant doctor. Thank you for posting your story, it helped me prove my point.

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shay_pcb
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« Reply #63 on: January 15, 2007, 09:08:50 PM »

I know that not all doctor's are as bright as they should be. I understand that.

I think that if she had known sooner that she was pregnant, then she could have done more dialysis to adjust to having the baby in there. I'm not saying that would have definately would have saved her baby, but I'm sure it had a part in it. I read that the dialysis has to be adjusted in pregnant women so that it's supprting the baby and the mom.

But I will keep that story in mind.
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brenda
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« Reply #64 on: January 15, 2007, 09:18:00 PM »

Wait a minute, I think my whole point was missed. Think about what dialysis does to your body. Have you never been on hemodialysis? You body goes through alot every run, not just every run everyday! Ya adjustments can be made but your talking double torture. I think, and as always this is just my thought, maybe the reason your fighting this so hard is you really know maybe your not doing the right thing. If you were so at peace with the idea it wouldn't be a fight.
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shay_pcb
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« Reply #65 on: January 15, 2007, 09:34:06 PM »

No, I have never been on hemo. I am on PD. I've read that success rates in hemo patients aren't as good as those in PD patients anyway, but that it's harder to get pregnant on PD than on hemo.

I'm not fighting anything. I am just posting my replies, just like everyone else on this forum. I do have my doubts because of things I have read, but my want to have a baby overpowers that doubt, and my family supports me, so that helps too.
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brenda
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« Reply #66 on: January 15, 2007, 09:40:44 PM »

The decision is all your's, as you know. Just please keep in mind your not just making a lifelong decision for yourself but also for a little baby  that can't make decisions or has no oppionion in this matter.
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« Reply #67 on: January 16, 2007, 10:10:58 AM »

shay_pcb, I can't understand why your family, especially your Mom, supports you in this.  If you were my daughter, my main concern would be in doing what was right for you, even if it meant that I would never have any grandchildren.  After all, if I was your Mother, you are my baby.  All of the things that you say you want for your child, I would want for you.  But your family seems willing to risk giving you up for the slim chance of having a baby.  I just don't understand that.

It sounds like to me that you are very determined to do what you want, regardless of what anyone says to you, including your doctor.  Who, specifically, will raise this baby of you are gone?  Your fiance?  What happens when he meets someone else and falls in love and they don't want your child?  Your Mom?  How old is she, what happens if she passes away?  Your sister?  What happens if she wants to get married and have children?  Does your family REALLY think this a good idea and they are encouraging you to do it, or have they just given up arguing with you and said they would support you?

I think most women on this site, including myself,  can understand how badly you want a baby.  But I am having trouble understanding why your main focus seems to be on having the baby, not on raising the baby to be a wonderful, smart, loved, protected adult. 


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shay_pcb
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« Reply #68 on: January 16, 2007, 12:40:34 PM »

No, if my doctor says it's a bad idea, then, of course, I will listen. This doctor has saved my life many times, and I trust was he says. (8 more days till I talk to him, BTW!) I really doubt that my fiance or anyone in my family will not want to keep this baby for me if I die. I don't even want to go into that in detail, I just know that they would want to take care of that baby.

And, yes, my mom REALLY does think it's a good idea. I brought her into another room, when I was at her house, and said that I'm almost as old as she was when she had me and that I think I'm ready to have a baby. She started crying and I started crying and I thought that she would have thought it was a bad idea, but she didn't. She said that she understood what I was feeling and that she wants whatever I want. In fact, she and my fiance are going to talk to the doctor with me so they can hear his medical point of view on it.

I would love to raise the baby, and I hope I get a chance to. I think about all of that stuff, it's just that I have to actually HAVE the baby to be able to do that in the first place. So, yes, right now my focus is getting pregnant. When that happens, I will focus on doing everything right to keep the baby healthy and have the baby. And so on...
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« Reply #69 on: January 16, 2007, 02:53:59 PM »

No, if my doctor says it's a bad idea, then, of course, I will listen. This doctor has saved my life many times, and I trust was he says. (8 more days till I talk to him, BTW!) I really doubt that my fiance or anyone in my family will not want to keep this baby for me if I die. I don't even want to go into that in detail, I just know that they would want to take care of that baby.

And, yes, my mom REALLY does think it's a good idea. I brought her into another room, when I was at her house, and said that I'm almost as old as she was when she had me and that I think I'm ready to have a baby. She started crying and I started crying and I thought that she would have thought it was a bad idea, but she didn't. She said that she understood what I was feeling and that she wants whatever I want. In fact, she and my fiance are going to talk to the doctor with me so they can hear his medical point of view on it.

I would love to raise the baby, and I hope I get a chance to. I think about all of that stuff, it's just that I have to actually HAVE the baby to be able to do that in the first place. So, yes, right now my focus is getting pregnant. When that happens, I will focus on doing everything right to keep the baby healthy and have the baby. And so on...

Wait I minute shay I just realized this, you and your fiance are not married yet. Do you plan to be married before the birth of your child or do you plan to have the baby out of wedlock? Having a fiance is not the same as being married. Why not wait until you and your fiance marry?Mallory has a point, what if you die and you never got married, and what if it's just to much for him to handle and he takes off? Then your mom has to raise the baby. How is your moms health? What if....Just think about this for a moment, what if your mom doesn't want to raise the baby because it's to sad for her to see the baby since she lost HER baby (you). A similar situation happened in my wife's family.
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« Reply #70 on: January 16, 2007, 05:29:51 PM »

My mom is 40 years old and is in VERY good shape. Most people think she's my sister. She wants me to have a baby so that she will still have a part of me if I die, so I doubt that she would feel that way. Also, she was wanting to have another baby, but she's going through menopause and her tubes are tied, so she can't. I think she would love to have a baby around. I'm not trying to make excuses or start crap. I know she could later change her mind, but that's what she wants now...so...yeah... ;D
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« Reply #71 on: January 16, 2007, 07:27:28 PM »

Could it be that you are still trying to win your Mother's approval.  If you can just do one last thing to make her happy you will do it no matter the cost?  Shay honey you don't have to do that.  You get well first.  Your mother has her own issues.  We all do, and you need to learn to take care of you first. 

                                                 :cuddle;
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« Reply #72 on: January 16, 2007, 07:50:13 PM »

I'm not doing it for my mother's approval. I wanted a baby long before I even told her that I wanted one.

And I forgot to reply to what Epoman said about having a baby out of wedlock. Nowadays, I don't think that makes that big of a difference. We know that we love each other, and he wants a baby just as bad as I do. We have been together for a year, so we just think it's time.
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« Reply #73 on: January 16, 2007, 10:45:01 PM »

I We have been together for a year, so we just think it's time.

A year?  Oh, honey. . . .that's nothing, nothing at all!  And given your age difference, you really need to make sure you have a solid, stable relationship before you add a child to this mix.  You may have enough of a stable relationship to want a child, but are you two strong enough to stand the risk of losing one?  You would be wise to take warning from those who have lost one - there is no personal hell worse than knowing you are responsible, even if it is no fault of your own, for the loss of your own child.
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« Reply #74 on: January 16, 2007, 10:52:55 PM »

I don't think I mentioned our age difference on THIS site...I did that for a reason...So PLEASE don't get into that here!!
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