daughter dyed her hair torquoise!

[texasstyle]

OMG, this is horrible. 14, lives w/her father and he "approved". Did it herself and it is a blob mess in the front and half the sides. She looks just riduclous. Mouthy all day w/ me yesterday "I'm keeping it"."you can't make me change it"... and I mean mouthy. Well, last night they sent her a message that she cannot try out for cheerleading (doing it 5 years) today w/ that hair. I say yippie to tthat coach!  I thought she made that decesion now she has tolive with it. She NEEDS the lesson very badly might I add. i did not Mike told herlast night we'd pick her up from school, get her hair bleach or what ever she plans, and bring her back home to do it and take her back to cheerleading.  Not gonna work out. School is 35 minutes away (staying w/ me,her father away this week). Pick up at 3 and back by 5 PLUS hair bought and dyed in between? Yikes! I am NOT going to stress about it. If she doesn't make back , oh well. Like I said, she needs this lesson. I was in the lines of too bad, until Mike has inadvenertntly come to her rescue thinking he's doing a good thing.

[willowtreewren]

I say good for the coach. And this would be a valuable lesson, even though it has been somewhat side-railed....

The down side is that you may have been made to look like the bad guy if you cannot make this "solution" happen. Too bad Mike made plans for YOU to handle it without clearing it with you first! 

Kids....got to love them!

Aleta

[billybags]

tex she is 14 can you think of some thing daft you did at that age.

[cariad]

 

(Sorry, only joking!)

I agree with Billy, she's a kid and it's only hair, but the backchat has to stop.

Since cheerleading has taken the decision out of your hands, it might be time to consider softening your position. As in well, I guess it's your body and your decision, but it's their cheerleading team, so you need to follow their rules. You can take this bit of serendipity from the cheerleading team and let THEM be the villain now. Also, taking time out of your busy day to save her from her own choices should never happen.

Good luck, hun! I am just over 4 years away from the teenage years, and I grow more terrified every day! 

[Sugarlump]

I can!!!     
Least dyed hair is not forever like a tattoo!!!!!
Better turquoise hair at her age than mine (think that might be quite cool actually!!!!)

[rocker]

My daughter did this when she was 10 or 11.  Same hideous glob style as well.  (It looked like she took a handful of blue dye and grabbed the back of her head.)

But really, I had the same reaction I did when she cut her bangs (completely off) when she was 4.  "Dude, you're the one who has to wear it around.  I can walk 20 feet away from you in the mall, no one needs to know you're mine."

And my attitude on small battles was set early on.  I remember once she was 2, and we were in NY in the winter, it was snowing outside, and she refused to put on her jacket.  Her father started yelling at her and fighting with her.  I said "Whoa, wait a minute.  Let's think this through.  She goes out without her jacket.  One of two things happens - either she's cold, which won't kill her, and then she knows she'll be cold and we'll never have this battle again.  OR - she's not cold.  In which case, what's the point of this fight in the first place?"

  - rocker

[jbeany]

Actually, I'm with cariad - take pics!  Promise her that you plan to embarrass the crap out of her by posting them everywhere - right next to her naked baby pics when she gets older and starts dating.   

Seriously, better hair dye than something that can't be fixed.  And kudos to the coach, too.

As for the rush to fix things - I think I'd offer her a safety razor and some some shaving cream!

Perhaps taking her to salon near the school might save time, if you feel like it - but only if her dad agrees to pay!

[YLGuy]

I had long hair and used to wear it in a pony. Once I even had a mullet so I really can't judge here.

[MooseMom]

My son spent most of his school years in a brilliant special needs school outside of London.  All of the students were of a normal IQ, but they all had some sort of speech and language difficulty.  Some were autistic, some had other problems, but they all benefitted from intensive group and individual SALT.  It was pretty much a normal school in every other way in that they had to follow the National Curriculum, etc.

Anyway, the students were going to put on a talent show, and my son happens to be a good bassist and drummer.  He formed a band and wanted to perform in the show.  Of course he had to look the part and wanted to dye his hair purple.  His dad wasn't keen at all, but I was all for it and even offered to help him dye it; it was just so....normal, and I LIKE normal!  He eventually decided it wasn't worth the effort.

Last year he decided to get one ear pierced.  Again, his dad wasn't keen, but by this time, he was an adult and could do what he pleased.  Without telling anyone, he went and got one ear pierced only to be later told by a facebook friend that he got the "wrong" ear pierced (it supposedly signalled that he was gay!).  So my kid just went ballistic, and there were many frantic phone calls from London.  He let the ear heal and then had the other one done.  His dad was afraid he'd look like a thug, but again, my son has to live with his own decisions just like anyone else.  He finally got tired of having to keep it clean and just couldn't be bothered looking after it anymore, so he stopped wearing it.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say that in my son's case, I was just really pleased that he was sort of experimenting with his image; this is something that all young people do...they endeavour to find what image "fits".  Despite my son's autism, he still wants to project a certain image; he just doesn't know what it is yet!  I'm really thrilled about this.  That may sound weird, I know.

One thing about my son is that he has no real filter.  He asked me if I was shocked that he got his ear pierced.  The right answer was, "no."  I think a lot of teens WANT to shock their parents...that's their job.  So turquoise hair is MEANT to shock you! 

I'd love to see a photo of that!  You've got to tell us what's happening now, TS!  I'm really curious!

[YLGuy]

I am on the fence on this.  I believe in letting my kids express their individuality.  My daughter, when she was little insisted on picking her own outfits out.  To say that the tops and bottoms didn't match would be an understatement.  She didn't care what others thought and it made her happy.  Hair will grow out and the color can be changed.  My oldest when he was 5 really liked Michael Jordon and wanted his head shaved just like him.  We didn't shave it completely but they used a 1 blade on him and it made him happy as heck.

As for the piercing.  When I was 19 I went to spring break in Florida.  I saw a shop that said free ear piercing and thought, "why not?" BTW I did not get the pierce on the wrong side for my sexual orientation. When I went home for the weekend my mom immediately yelled out, "You look like a fag!" I just laughed and said it was on the wrong side for that.  A couple years later I had a second pierce on the same ear.  To this day the holes are still open and I could wear earrings if I chose to. My daughter came home from visiting her mom's with a pierce in the cartilage.  It looked cool but I was a little upset that I was not asked.  Not that she did it, but that they did it without asking me.  My daughter insists that when she turns 18 that she is getting a lip pierce.  I told her that I cannot stop you but you will haver the scar of a little hole your whole life. She also wants to get the same tattoo as I want. A little NY on my left shoulder.  I have very mixed feelings about that.  I did not get my first tattoo until I was 40. By the time she is 40 the tattoo will be pretty blurry.   Again, this will be her decision but I am glad that she is discussing it with me.

I guess I was wondering if you were more upset that she did it without discussing it with you or the fact that she did it?

[WishIKnew]

Pictures!

Frustrating in the moment, but having been a high school teacher for many years, very normal. 

Hang in there mom, and when my 13 year old son does something equally off the wall, feel free to send my response back to me!  LOL

[Sugarlump]

This is one of life's growing up steps...a look what i've done moment...it will pass. Enjoy it for what it is! 

[cariad]

My daughter, when she was little insisted on picking her own outfits out.  To say that the tops and bottoms didn't match would be an understatement.  She didn't care what others thought and it made her happy.  Hair will grow out and the color can be changed.  My oldest when he was 5 really liked Michael Jordon and wanted his head shaved just like him.  We didn't shave it completely but they used a 1 blade on him and it made him happy as heck.

I can totally relate to this!

My son wanted a mohawk, though we later discovered that he did not realise what a mohawk actually entailed. He wanted to shave designs into his head when he was five. I did not let him, but it was more because I am not sure we can do that with his hair, and I did not want to spend the extra money. Fauxhawks have been all the rage for years with little boys. I thought my son would hate his last cut - really, really short on the back and sides, scissor cut on top. But the woman cut it so that he can shape it to stick up like a fauxhawk, yet it combs down and looks really cute and clean cut. When I lost all my hair, we thought Aidan would shave his head, too, and we would let him draw an arrow on his head like Aang (Avatar reference - not the film, the anime series). Surprisingly, Aidan was not game for that so we did not bother.

My younger boy insists on picking his own clothes. We have a pair of bright red fleece trousers that I bought for a few dollars from Children's Place so that we could keep them at school and use them for emergencies. We had one of those emergencies last Friday, and we were going to drop them at a friends' so their babysitter could watch them. Well, I happened to have an extra pair of trousers for him with me, but he flatly refused to change. Gwyn was going to start shouting at him, but I told him to drop it because who cares what he looks like on a Friday night with his friends and the babysitter. It is so easy to get drawn into arguments with kids that just sap our energy. My youngest has extra pressure, because I look at him as my last chance to get to dress up another human being, and in a year or two, that will all be over. So, I just enjoy the times he does let me pick his clothes all the more.

[jbeany]

Yeah, I'm all for letting them muck with their hair - other than pictures to embarrass them with later, it goes away.

My step-niece's endless tats and piercings make me shudder, though.  Someday, when she actually might manage to get her act together (she's only 18, but doesn't act even that old) she's going to be looking for a job with enough holes on her face to pass it off as a cross-stitch canvas, and tats she can't hide without wearing a nun's habit.

And what is it with the ear "plugs" anyhow?  Geez, at least the holes left over from regular earrings fade into nothing.  We're talking about something that will require plastic surgery to make disappear.  How else would you remove a loop of flesh meant to hold a thick plug the circumference of a dime?
That, and I keep picturing what those things are gonna look like at 70.  Ewwwwww!!!!!

[YLGuy]

Here is a picture from 1968. I was 5 and wanted to look like an Indian so my dad did this.  My mom was mad but I still remember how happy it made me. Yes, my brother and I were tow-heads.

[cariad]

Awwwww, Marc. Little cutie!!

[Poppylicious]

Once I even had a mullet so I really can't judge here.

Now that I would like to see a photo of ... (I need a good giggle)

 

I think that turqouise hair is a tiny little blip for a 14 year old.  And if she can look back and laugh at herself in a few years then all is good.

And what is it with the ear "plugs" anyhow?  Geez, at least the holes left over from regular earrings fade into nothing.  We're talking about something that will require plastic surgery to make disappear.  How else would you remove a loop of flesh meant to hold a thick plug the circumference of a dime?
That, and I keep picturing what those things are gonna look like at 70.  Ewwwwww!!!!!

We have 14 year olds at work who do this and it completely freaks me out.  In fact, seeing anyone with nasty massive holes freaks me out and makes me want to vomit.  I share your 'Ewwwwww!!!!!'

[rsudock]

as kids grow they are trying to test their autonomy and push the bounds of the rules. Not only testing parents but also seeing what fits for their personality and the kind of adult they are going to be. I think their is a lot of pressure out their for kids (especially girls) to look a certain way. A few girls reject these societal pressures and experiment with other looks to express their individualism. Just FYI

Just wait until a person she likes says a negative comment about it...she'll change it back. 

xo,
R

[YLGuy]

Once I even had a mullet so I really can't judge here.

Now that I would like to see a photo of ... (I need a good giggle)

Business in the front & party in the back.  I know some of you have some pictures of either hair styles or wardrobe that you look at now and wonder what you were thinking. I'd love to see them.

[rsudock]

lol LOVE the mullet!!     thanks for sharing!!
xo,
R

[greg10]

Sounded like one of these blue wigs would have been simpler:



http://www.meritline.com/synthetic-fiber-short-length-blue-women-wig---p-63224.aspx

[Sugarlump]

Oh funky I must get one for going out on the town and frightening my relies!!!

[Poppylicious]

*chuckling at the mullet*

 

(love it; very fetching!)

[rsudock]

And what is it with the ear "plugs" anyhow?  Geez, at least the holes left over from regular earrings fade into nothing.  We're talking about something that will require plastic surgery to make disappear.  How else would you remove a loop of flesh meant to hold a thick plug the circumference of a dime?
That, and I keep picturing what those things are gonna look like at 70.  Ewwwwww!!!!!

At my former school district there was a child in THIRD GRADE that had ear plugs!!! It was disgusting....what were those parents thinking?   

[jbeany]

And what is it with the ear "plugs" anyhow?  Geez, at least the holes left over from regular earrings fade into nothing.  We're talking about something that will require plastic surgery to make disappear.  How else would you remove a loop of flesh meant to hold a thick plug the circumference of a dime?
That, and I keep picturing what those things are gonna look like at 70.  Ewwwwww!!!!!

At my former school district there was a child in THIRD GRADE that had ear plugs!!! It was disgusting....what were those parents thinking?   

I don't think there was any thinking going on there at all....

Helped a guy on Wednesday while I was volunteering who had two of those things in the same ear.  Only they weren't solid, they were hollow silver tubes with scroll work around the edge of the tubes.  Very distracting talking to someone who has light shining through the holes in his head!