feeling alone

[Cordelia]

  to you

[looneytunes]

OLB...how are you holding up?  I'm thinking of you two.   

[texasstyle]

I am not currently employed outside the house but at home, I am working ALL the time. It's soooo hard (like the others have said) being a caregiver. My best friend sometimes makes me remarks about me not working (which I am able to do) and sometimes I get a little hurt. If they only knew. His siter kinda gets it but his daughter doesn't. She's just not around enough to see how it is. She has children and I understand she is busy. It's all up to me. 3 days ago he injured his back and who is there w/ him? Me. We are there when they are sick, when they are weak, when they are cranky, when they don't feel like dialysis, when they need their special meals. We are there when (and if) they're congestive heart failure starts taking it's toll. We are there through all the medications, the medical bills, the paper work, the medical phone calls, everytime they are in ER, ICU, or regular hosp. We clean up when they throw up, when they have diarrahea, when they are occassionall dizzy after dialysis. We are there to pick up slack because they are not able to do exactly what they could before. We are there to constantly worry about them. e are there to check to see "if they breathing" at night or evrytime they're napping. And my friend thinks I sit around doing nothing all day lol. I know you feel alone but you're not. You may not have much support where you are but you have it here. It can be draining on the caregiver and you need to let a little loose too. Most importantly: take care of YOURSELF.

[billybags]

texasstyle, could not have said it better. Hubby has been in hospital with a heart attack since Friday, scared the shit out of me. So it has been stressful, tiring going backwards and forwards to hospital but the good thing is they have sorted him and I got him home to-day. Remember to say this to your self every morning, I get a laugh with it. Say GOOD MORNING, LET THE STRESS BEGIN and it frigging does. Thinking of you both.

[Poppylicious]

I am not currently employed outside the house but at home, I am working ALL the time. It's soooo hard (like the others have said) being a caregiver. My best friend sometimes makes me remarks about me not working (which I am able to do) and sometimes I get a little hurt. If they only knew. His siter kinda gets it but his daughter doesn't. She's just not around enough to see how it is. She has children and I understand she is busy. It's all up to me. 3 days ago he injured his back and who is there w/ him? Me. We are there when they are sick, when they are weak, when they are cranky, when they don't feel like dialysis, when they need their special meals. We are there when (and if) they're congestive heart failure starts taking it's toll. We are there through all the medications, the medical bills, the paper work, the medical phone calls, everytime they are in ER, ICU, or regular hosp. We clean up when they throw up, when they have diarrahea, when they are occassionall dizzy after dialysis. We are there to pick up slack because they are not able to do exactly what they could before. We are there to constantly worry about them. e are there to check to see "if they breathing" at night or evrytime they're napping. And my friend thinks I sit around doing nothing all day lol. I know you feel alone but you're not. You may not have much support where you are but you have it here. It can be draining on the caregiver and you need to let a little loose too. Most importantly: take care of YOURSELF.

Damn it tx! This made me cry.  I spend so much time insisting that I'm not a 'caregiver' that I don't think I truly realise that actually I am. 

*sigh*

[RichardMEL]

Good post TS. Well written. It is not an easy lot to bear for the caregiver - specially when you also feel so helpless to do much more for the patient than what you already to, and probably also feel unappreciated half the time for what you DO do which often goes taken for granted or unnoticed.

We appreciate all that you, and all the other wonderful caregivers, do.

[silverhead]

Texasstyle, I think I  Love you, Happy Valentines Day!.  I read your post and each and every item was exactly what I experienced with Sharon, especially stopping by her bed in the middle of the night to make sure she was still breathing......

[boswife]

Yes TS  you said it true... Dont think it could be more clear..  kinda in a loss for words, just want to knod and say 'yes'. 
And to   OLB, i send prayers for comfort. 
And to all of us, patients, and caregivers, i wish for peace, and content in what we do have.  whew,,,

[paris]

OLB, keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

[texasstyle]

See how NOT alone you are? I know it still feels like it probably. It's darn frustrating when there's no one to talk too either. VENT out your stuff!  It's not good to keep it in. One day at time is what we do.

[vcarmody]

Well said texasstyle.  OLB, I have been thinking about you everyday, wish there was something I could do to make it easier... were here to support you in anyway we can.   

[looneytunes]

OLB...wondering how you both are....please let us hear from you.  Lots of prayers and good thoughts going out for you two.   

[karrye]

 

Hang in there.  Believe me there is silver linings...you just have to wait until the clouds thin out a bit!  Here is a cute joke for you:

What do you call a burglar in armor?

A thief in a knight!  lol

Sorry, but I have to have some humor or I would go insane.

karrye

[looneytunes]

OLB...still thinking of you two and praying for you.   

[looneytunes]

OLB..haven't heard from you.  Hoping things are still ok there.   

[ODAT]

There's is no way a person can say they understand how it is to be alone unless they have been for a length of time. I wish I could understand how my mom feels being alone so I can help do things and say things that might make it easier. She has always had people around. Six kids, plus babysitting, then working and grandkids. We all have our times to be with her. Mine is every Wednesday and every other Saturday. Of course, I see her more often due to parties and just wanting to see her.

I also know that mom sometimes gets complacent and wants to reach out and call someone, but is too tired. I've never been alone and when I find myself alone in my house, I know it doesn't compare to what someone who is truly alone feels because I know it won't last.

Being alone at any age, healthy or not, by your choice or not, is difficult. I know when my son went to PA for a job, he was alone for 3 months. He didn't know anyone and came home every weekend. I know he "grew into himself" during that time. You do have lots of time to think that's for sure.