Wow, I have just had some time reading back through your posts & what a rough time you've had....as sad as it is to have lost this man,
my belief is that if you have to also want to help ones self and boy he gave you a hard time....and often didn't help himself!
I am sorry for your loss, but I really hope that your life is now much easier for you and that you know the joy of being good to yourself & enjoying your life.
Your life has really been on hold for him, so now it's your time to spread your wings and be happy and do things for you.