visited a Dialysis center today

[needlephobic]

I visited a D center today it is smaller than the one I go to now. The waiting room was nice had a water despencer  was met by a guy not sure of his rank. He was very nice and he showed me around the center. The treatment center has 12 chairs that looked very confortable and bigger than the chair I have been in and it was padded. the place was very clean each chair had a tv that is attached to a arm he said no cable bummer. I can have food or drinks while I am doing dialysis. They can fit me in on the same days I do D now but different time. They don't like chest caths and would be wanting to stick me. I don't like being forced in to it cause that would make me not want to go in. People just don't understand my fear of needles. But everything I seen I liked but still looking for that right center hopfuly I'll find it. 

[MooseMom]

Well, maybe this center has a better social worker who can do a better job at helping you cope with your fear of needles.  Keep an open mind and go on searching.  Good for you for looking for a better clinic!

[needlephobic]

Thanks MM I told him I am in the dark on my treatment now they don't tell me anything they don't explain my lab numbers and the neph I have now all I get is stupid looks and no answers. He told me here I can ask all the questions I want they will answers them right on the spot the neph will explain my lab work when he comes in and will answer my questions. He told me I will be treated as a person not a number and I like that. But I am still looking  but I got to get out of the center I am at They are going to raise heck when I tell them no more epo cause of bad side effects I am having pluse underlineing heart condition the doc knows I told him it is in the paper work but he don't care I am just a pay check going in his bank. Time for action. I need to borrow a big stick lol   

[MooseMom]

You deserve all the answers to all of your questions.  Those docs and techs are trained in dialysis; you are not, so that you have questions is normal and GOOD!  They should be GLAD that you are interested in your health and in your treatment.  Clinics that don't answer your questions have something to hide, I suspect, so I am glad you're getting out.

You may be afraid of needles, but to demand better treatment and to take the steps to get it...THAT takes guts, my friend!   

[needlephobic]

Sometimes I wonder bout the techs and nurses at my center. They are supposed to know more than me but I find out i know more than them they must have fell a sleep in class lol Yes MM it took guts to go over there but still I have trust issues so it is hard for me to trust anybody and my D center didn't help that any. I belive when I find the right center I will know I just listen to little voice so to speak

[Meinuk]

Needle, almost every center you go to is going to want to use your fistula/graft.

I know that you have heard this all before, but now I'll tell you why they are pushing you.

Years ago, Medicare (CMS) started the Fistula First Breakthhrough Initiative.  It was because studies have shown that when people have fistulas and grafts, they live longer and the incidents of infections are MUCH LOWER.  Because of this, Facilities are monitored and checked regarding their fistula/graft rates.  Medicare has set a national goal, and the Networks set a goal, and for facilities are expected to set a goal to reach (this is called a Quality Improvement Plan (QIP)).  This was done to make dialysis safer and healthier. Right now, the national average is just 57.4% (as of 11/10), this is well below other nations and one of the reasons that we have such terrible statistics (deaths).

See Fistula First:  http://fistulafirst.org/

There are people who are looking at clinic numbers, and they are questioned when they have catheter patients, and they also track how long a patient has had a catheter in.

So, hopefully you see that they may be pressuring you, but they are getting some pressure as well from Medicare/the Network.

Here is a sample of Newtwork 13's Quality Improvement tools for their facilities:  http://www.network13.org/resources.asp#QIP
I hope that this unit works out for you.  You deserve the best dialysis possible.

[RichardMEL]

I feel for you - your fear must be so crippling and when you have little support to deal with it that makes it worse.

I never liked the needles - and I used to always look away and just think about something else to distract me. I am not saying that would work for you - that's far too simplistic and I do not want to make it sound like I don't believe your phobia is so difficult to overcome.

One thing to know about fistulas is that after a time of using it they mature (a.k.a. harden up!) and most of the time you don't even feel the needles. I would say 70-80% of the time i was stuck and it totally wasn't an issue. Not that I ever looked, but it was nothing. I've also never had an infection in my site or other problems (my fistula is still thrilling along even though I haven't had to use it "in anger" since early December). Really it is true the fistula is a much better solution than a catheter and I can understand why they would push that - both for them (ie: medicare) and for you because it really is much better than the catheter, even allowing for the fact you just don't want those needles near you. Fistula access provides more efficient and safer dialysis - which you'd benefit from.

Anyway like I said I am not trying to trivialise your phobia, and clearly you need some serious help to address this - and I hope you can find it because I really think it is in your best interests.

(also that unit sounds great if they're willing to answer questions, explain labs etc - that sort of thing helped me feel more a sense of being part of *M&* treatment team and understanding more about what was going on. That was/is very important to me)

[paul.karen]

Needle,

Are you paying out of pocket?  Or do you have insurance.
Before i started D i went to a clinic just to look around and see what eveything was about.  My neph didnt send me i went out on my own.  heck i even signed up at the clinic i went to.  Got a call from that clinic a few days later stating my insurance wasnt good there.  And i have pretty good private insurance.
So i owuld hate for you to find a place you really like, only to be told you cant go there for whatever reason.  So maybe your insurance can give you a list of places they accept.

Good luck..

[KICKSTART]

RM is right every centre will push for needles , so maybe a compromise is better ? A nice clean small unit , then let them help you work on your phobia ?  Sadly everyone you go to will mention needles to you , i dont know how but its a bridge you are going to have to cross.

[needlephobic]

No not paying out of pocket. I am looking around for another D center because the one I am at is pushing me out the door. I found out I am not the only one from that center looking around. The only way i know how to explain my fear of needles is this way. How many people here will go out of there way to avoid there fear or phobia at all cost? Like will not go in a highrise cause your afraid of heights or the elevator in closed places. How you ladies that are afraid of mice or spiders or bugs? I seen the way you jump and climb on counters and chairs or just run. That feeling you get when that happens is the feeling I get. Sadly to say I don't faint I fight. But this phobia if you look it up is the most deadly of phobias. All I just ask is help me with therapy don't force them needles on me or I will not go in. My phobia is so bad I will not go into hospitals to see friends or family. I hated when i was in the hospital.

[okarol]

I may have asked this before, but cannot recall. Why don't you do PD and save yourself from dealing with needles?

[needlephobic]

I may have asked this before, but cannot recall. Why don't you do PD and save yourself from dealing with needles?

Was told I would need a partner. I don't have room for the supplies and the machine. And thanks to my greedy Bros and Sister I have no clue to where I am going to be in mid summer or at the end of the year when they kick me out of my mom's house and sell it because they have no clue as to what I am going through right now and can care less all they want is money money money since my parents died. Housing here is on freeze and there is a wait of up to a year if it wasn't on freeze. Plus I would have to go and have blood work done which requires a needle (((shivers))). So I am dead man walking if I can't find help to over come my fear. I am shaking now as I type  this .

[PatDowns]

Is visual impairment the reason you need a partner?  If yes, then there is no need to address the other issues.

I may have asked this before, but cannot recall. Why don't you do PD and save yourself from dealing with needles?

Was told I would need a partner. I don't have room for the supplies and the machine. And thanks to my greedy Bros and Sister I have no clue to where I am going to be in mid summer or at the end of the year when they kick me out of my mom's house and sell it because they have no clue as to what I am going through right now and can care less all they want is money money money since my parents died. Housing here is on freeze and there is a wait of up to a year if it wasn't on freeze. Plus I would have to go and have blood work done which requires a needle (((shivers))). So I am dead man walking if I can't find help to over come my fear. I am shaking now as I type  this .

[needlephobic]

Is visual impairment the reason you need a partner?  If yes, then there is no need to address the other issues.

I may have asked this before, but cannot recall. Why don't you do PD and save yourself from dealing with needles?

Was told I would need a partner. I don't have room for the supplies and the machine. And thanks to my greedy Bros and Sister I have no clue to where I am going to be in mid summer or at the end of the year when they kick me out of my mom's house and sell it because they have no clue as to what I am going through right now and can care less all they want is money money money since my parents died. Housing here is on freeze and there is a wait of up to a year if it wasn't on freeze. Plus I would have to go and have blood work done which requires a needle (((shivers))). So I am dead man walking if I can't find help to over come my fear. I am shaking now as I type  this .

no can see just fine They told me when I was at the center learning about it that I will need a partner. I also have down under medical probs too and when I was working since I lift heavy things they were worried about it giving me hernias plus I worked in a mental hospital and was worried patients would grab it when they through a fit and they was worried about infections where I worked at so it was out of the question. I thought maybe I could handle needles but still can't looking for a therapist but not many deal with my phobia 

[PatDowns]

Is visual impairment the reason you need a partner?  If yes, then there is no need to address the other issues.

I may have asked this before, but cannot recall. Why don't you do PD and save yourself from dealing with needles?

Was told I would need a partner. I don't have room for the supplies and the machine. And thanks to my greedy Bros and Sister I have no clue to where I am going to be in mid summer or at the end of the year when they kick me out of my mom's house and sell it because they have no clue as to what I am going through right now and can care less all they want is money money money since my parents died. Housing here is on freeze and there is a wait of up to a year if it wasn't on freeze. Plus I would have to go and have blood work done which requires a needle (((shivers))). So I am dead man walking if I can't find help to over come my fear. I am shaking now as I type  this .

no can see just fine They told me when I was at the center learning about it that I will need a partner. I also have down under medical probs too and when I was working since I lift heavy things they were worried about it giving me hernias plus I worked in a mental hospital and was worried patients would grab it when they through a fit and they was worried about infections where I worked at so it was out of the question. I thought maybe I could handle needles but still can't looking for a therapist but not many deal with my phobia

OK, this helps a lot.  Since you have no visual problems, what are the medical/physical problems you were told wouldn't allow you to do PD?

What exactly do you do at work?  As far as having to lift things  - how heavy?  Are you a group home worker?  Can you work something out with your supervisor for different responsibilities? 

How would the patients in the mental hospital know you are on CAPD unless you say something?  There are undergarments FOR MEN who are on CAPD that help keep the tubing more secure. 

As far as doing a couple of fluid exchanges at work, those could be done while at lunch and on a break in an employee restroom.  Have with you at work a bag with CAPD supplies and disinfectate/wipes to have a clean working area in the restroom.  Good technique should address the possible infection issues.

As for your fear of needles - Have you contacted the Mental Health Division of the OU Medical Center in Oklahoma City to see if they can refer you to a program that deals with your phobia?  Call them for a consult.  405.271.5251 ext.47643

Whether you are on hemo or PD, you will have to have monthly bloodwork drawn.  How about taking xanax or antivan before going in to take some of the edge off?

I'm not really going to address your family dynamics, except to say that since your parents are deceased, didn't they leave in the will plans for you and your siblings to be taken care of?  Wouldn't all three of you have to agree to sell the house?  If so, then wouldn't you get a third of the proceeds?  I have more questions, but feel they would be too invasive.

In the meantime, you mentioned nothing was going to be happening until mid summer.  Plenty of time for you to go ahead an get established at home for CAPD.   And, when the house does sell, put a plan be into effect.  If you get an apartment, it should be large enough to handle a month's worth of supplies.  If it is too small, then ask a good friend or neighbor if you could store some product with them.

Hope some of this strikes a chord and you will follow up.

[needlephobic]

Is visual impairment the reason you need a partner?  If yes, then there is no need to address the other issues.

I may have asked this before, but cannot recall. Why don't you do PD and save yourself from dealing with needles?

Was told I would need a partner. I don't have room for the supplies and the machine. And thanks to my greedy Bros and Sister I have no clue to where I am going to be in mid summer or at the end of the year when they kick me out of my mom's house and sell it because they have no clue as to what I am going through right now and can care less all they want is money money money since my parents died. Housing here is on freeze and there is a wait of up to a year if it wasn't on freeze. Plus I would have to go and have blood work done which requires a needle (((shivers))). So I am dead man walking if I can't find help to over come my fear. I am shaking now as I type  this .

no can see just fine They told me when I was at the center learning about it that I will need a partner. I also have down under medical probs too and when I was working since I lift heavy things they were worried about it giving me hernias plus I worked in a mental hospital and was worried patients would grab it when they through a fit and they was worried about infections where I worked at so it was out of the question. I thought maybe I could handle needles but still can't looking for a therapist but not many deal with my phobia

OK, this helps a lot.  Since you have no visual problems, what are the medical/physical problems you were told wouldn't allow you to do PD?

What exactly do you do at work?  As far as having to lift things  - how heavy?  Are you a group home worker?  Can you work something out with your supervisor for different responsibilities? 

How would the patients in the mental hospital know you are on CAPD unless you say something?  There are undergarments FOR MEN who are on CAPD that help keep the tubing more secure. 

As far as doing a couple of fluid exchanges at work, those could be done while at lunch and on a break in an employee restroom.  Have with you at work a bag with CAPD supplies and disinfectate/wipes to have a clean working area in the restroom.  Good technique should address the possible infection issues.

As for your fear of needles - Have you contacted the Mental Health Division of the OU Medical Center in Oklahoma City to see if they can refer you to a program that deals with your phobia?  Call them for a consult.  405.271.5251 ext.47643

Whether you are on hemo or PD, you will have to have monthly bloodwork drawn.  How about taking xanax or antivan before going in to take some of the edge off?

I'm not really going to address your family dynamics, except to say that since your parents are deceased, didn't they leave in the will plans for you and your siblings to be taken care of?  Wouldn't all three of you have to agree to sell the house?  If so, then wouldn't you get a third of the proceeds?  I have more questions, but feel they would be too invasive.

In the meantime, you mentioned nothing was going to be happening until mid summer.  Plenty of time for you to go ahead an get established at home for CAPD.   And, when the house does sell, put a plan be into effect.  If you get an apartment, it should be large enough to handle a month's worth of supplies.  If it is too small, then ask a good friend or neighbor if you could store some product with them.

Hope some of this strikes a chord and you will follow up.

Ok I already have 2 groin hernias and a detached bladder in which the bladder said was a saggy bladder grrrrrrrrrr.
As for the job they let me go could not form the function of the job they say. One reason I was housekeeper and they have the chairs that are full of sand the weight is about 200 to 300 pounds they have theses wooden low beds which took about 3 people to lift. and do to fistula that was out and they told me they had no light duty jobs and let me go. They were worried about the patients  grabbing my chest cath when they blow up there is always a fight going there or a employee getting caught up in a fight. I had a guy come at me twice so it is a dangerous job. and if I did have the PD cath they wouldn't let me work cause of it. and at work don't think you could do a exchange in 15 min on break not sure about a 30 min lunch got to eat you know and they would complain I was doing that at work. Thanks for the number I'll give them a call. At D they take my lab out of my cath so no prob there. And with the Bros and sis the idea was for me to stay put but my sis got to talk with my greedy bro and his girlfriend and talked her into selling the house. they are so greedy they are looking into changing the zone so a business will buy the house and land. I asked my sis about that and I was threaten about them taking me to court to get me kicked out. As of right now bro's girlfriend is painting the walls of the house to get it ready  to be sold. As for me they can careless they don't check on me there are days I feel like crap. One day my bros girlfriend came in and wanted to see how I was doing in her own words I have not seen you in 3 days and she lives here. I could die and they won't find me for over 3 days pretty sad. And finding a apartment with the disability I make wood take almost all of it for rent  so I don't know what I am going to do. Just wish they would walk in my shoes a week or too to see how I feel. 

[kristina]

I visited a D center today it is smaller than the one I go to now. The waiting room was nice had a water despencer  was met by a guy not sure of his rank. He was very nice and he showed me around the center. The treatment center has 12 chairs that looked very confortable and bigger than the chair I have been in and it was padded. the place was very clean each chair had a tv that is attached to a arm he said no cable bummer. I can have food or drinks while I am doing dialysis. They can fit me in on the same days I do D now but different time. They don't like chest caths and would be wanting to stick me. I don't like being forced in to it cause that would make me not want to go in. People just don't understand my fear of needles. But everything I seen I liked but still looking for that right center hopfuly I'll find it.

Dear needlephobic,

I have had for many years enormous difficulty in seeing a doctor.
This is because of the real abuse which I experienced.
It is not because I have manifested in my mind a distrust of doctors.
My feelings are based on direct experience.

I wonder, needlephobic, whether your fear of needles
is based upon a direct unfortunate real experience,
or whether it is a fear which has just grown of its own accord?

I mention this because there are two clear reasons for someone fearing something,
and therefore their resolution must take two different forms.

I wonder if you have explored the different ways of resolving
whatever type of fear of needles you have?

I went privately to someone professional to be helped through my doctor-trauma
and initially they thought it was a “normal phobia” manifesting of its own accord.
But after my detailed explanation of my experiences with doctors
that professional person realized my trauma was based upon facts and experiences,
and therefore the approach had to be tailored to meet my particular type of trauma.

It took me a long time and a lots of courage to make the decision to speak out and explore
whether anyone professional could find a way to help me resolve, as much as possible, my trauma.
 
In my case it is a fact that I cannot ever forget the abuse and experiences,
and I am not trying to wipe it from my memory,
I am merely trying to find a better way of dealing with it,
so I can go forward and not stand still suffering.

I wish you good luck to find your way,

all the best wishes from Kristina.

[carol1987]

When I was on Dialysis.. I used emla cream and never felt a needle!

I did not have a phobia though... I feel for you needle phobic!!

[KICKSTART]

What caused you to hate needles so much ?
Have you ever actually been needled for anything ?
If you havent then what are you expecting? What is it the frightens you ?

[needlephobic]

What caused you to hate needles so much ?
Have you ever actually been needled for anything ?
If you havent then what are you expecting? What is it the frightens you ?

I don't hate needles I am terrified of them.
Yes been needled was traumatized some time back when I was little here in the US back in the early 60s they would take kids away from there parents to examine or give shots they would stick you anywhere they could so they wouldn't have to fight the child. I can't remember when or what happen but when somebody comes at me or I see a needle I freak out and try to get out of there. With D I am trapped in a chair so I will fight to get out of that chair with any means possable. I don't faint darn the luck I just fight.
My former social worker worked with me to face my fear. It ended up making me worse as in I was setting in a chair in her office she put the D needle in front of me about arms leangh away and I was so scared I was in a fetal postion asking her to get rid of it
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/trypanophobia

[KICKSTART]

I think somewhere in your memories this has got out of hand. I dont know if this will help you at all to maybe just face a needle (not for D) Sit at home and hold a sewing needle , you know this is not going to be stuck in you and you have hold of it so you are in control of it. Now think back , have you ever been scratched by a cat ? The truth is an injection or taking bloods is no worse than that. Having a line in your neck would have hurt far more than needles , How did they put a line in your neck because you have to have needles for that ? I do recognise phobias , i have some myself, but if you hold a small sewing needle it poses no threat to you and you control it , i would start with small steps like just getting used to that . 

[needlephobic]

Really not sure how to explain it anymore. I am not scared of sewing needles just afraid of medical needles. Social worker tried to help me before she retired had me face my fear but made it worse. had the D needle in front of me with in arm reach and the chair I was in I was so scared in a fetal postion tell her to get it away. It is real read the web site on my last post. 

[rsudock]

how about hypnosis for your needle phobia? also it seems like your work is not very accomodating but they have to be it is a law. they cannot discriminate towards you and just fire you for having to do your D at work.



xo,
R

[RichardMEL]

When I was seven I had to have a needle in my eye. "Now hold right still. Don't move..." and this bloody thing is coming straight for you. Yes, that was terror. So compared to that hey a little needle in the arm, or even two in the fistula is a doddle!!

[needlephobic]

Richard I don't think they could ever do that to me I wouldn't even go in for that.As for little D needles they are not little them things are huge I freak out everytime i see one