Is anyone else alone??

[rsudock]

mizar i find i have little patience with healthy people and their "problems". everyday i ask not to be that way but for the most part people know i am not the one to complain to if u have a cold...just to deep in my battle right now. i had a friend the other day go on and on about how depressed she was over losing a 3 month loser boyfriend....i had to hang up on her.

hang in there!

xo,
R

[RichardMEL]

Hugging hour?! Wait I'm booking my flight.....

[gothiclovemonkey]

 

xoxoxox

[billybags]

Lots of hugs for the people who are on their own.    I said hugs not gropes.

[RightSide]

Yes, I'm pretty much alone.

I live alone. No one lives in my home but me and the dust mites.

I was an only child, no brothers or sisters.
My mom passed away in 1993.

My dad and aunt don't live near me.  I had moved to MA to pursue my career.  I was always a loner chap, following my nose.   I had a number of friends, but one by one they either moved away--or pursued other personal interests--or, in a few cases, passed away.

For those who give us lonely folks hugs, you have my appreciation and my thanks.

[Bruno]

Golly, I don't want to spoil the sad party, but I'm happy with a wonderfully supportive family. I reckon life is great.

[vivalaslele]

Hey GLF,
I just read through a lot of the responses to your post and I got a little choked up. I am currently having the same feelings and its just soooo not like me. My family has been very supportive, but as supportive as they try to be they still dont really understand. I dont think anyone who hasnt been through this can really understand. Im single and I really envy people who have a significant other to lean on and help them through this. Ive lost my confidence and I feel like Im never going to meet someone who wants to be in a relationship with a sick person. My friends were great at first, even giving me rides to dialysis when i wasnt feeling good, checking on me everyday, really being there. And now most of them have dwindled away. The ones that care all live super far away, so I miss out on the physicality. I feel like Ive lost everything, especially my independence. But I hang in there and I hang in there, like we all do. I am new to this site and just so thankful for it! Its the first time since I started dialysis that I feel like people are really listening to me. Stay strong Gothic!! Youve got friends here!!!

[Joe Paul]

We should have a meet up, and having "hugging hour" for those who would like a huggie....
hehehe just go around hugging random people hehe 

GROUP HUGSS... that could be intresting          

[monrein]

 

[gothiclovemonkey]

vivalaslele-- i too am single, and feel that no one would want a sick girl, also since ive lost a ton of weight, my body disgusts me, so now i have added more too that lol ill be single forevers! lol

A good point :
 I was tlaking to my bro, and mentioned feeling lonely, he says, HOW? i said well because no one is going thru this but me. AND HE GOT MAD!!!!!! He said I take u to dialysis, i see you almost daily, how can u say i dont go thru what u go thru..........................
LOL How do I even respond to that/?? So I simply said, yes, my dear brothe u go thru alot with me, i appriciate that, you are right. (When inside i felt like saying screw you, you have NO clue... your the one who constantly tells me u would love to switch lives with me, and that u would drink all u want, and suffer the cramps and stuff...ya.....)

[gothiclovemonkey]

My first Christmas without my family, just me and my son...
it is kind of weird but also kindof nice too i have a lower stress level than normal! lol I am usually such a basket case, but it feels like any other day only will lights and presents!

[looneytunes]

Sending cyber hugs to all of you.        

[ChickenLittle56]

Its Christmas day and I am am alone and fighting to keep upbeat. I am trying to the bad thoughts out of mind by keeping myself busy making a Christmas dinner and doing my using chores outside. Several of my sisters have called and talked briefly about whats going on today. After the phone calls I sometimes feel a little down on what I am missing. The sounds of presents opening, the oohs and ahhhs of what they got and the nieces and nephews playing with their toys(sometimes I'm there playing with them ). I'll make it through today and be OK and feel blessed for another year of living.

[gothiclovemonkey]

ive neve been alone on xmas before....
the bad thoughts im ahving arent making it easier, and not feeling well to boot. its been odd.

[vivalaslele]

Im sending much love to those of you spending this holiday "han solo" (hahaha star wars, get it!!??  ). Just remeber that the rest of us are thinking about you and wishing you well. XOXOXOXOXO

ps GLM- maybe we should start a kidney patient dating site, like match.com except for people with kidney probs!! lol we might be millionaires!!!

[noahvale]

***

[kitkatz]

We tried a kidney dating site, but there was not enough participation at the time.

[Riki]

Gothic, sometimes the best thing to happen to you.  When my dad moved out last year, the atmosphere in the house changed.  We think my dad is bipolar (his sister is, and I'm told that his mother was, so, odds are good) and we always had to walk on eggshells around him.  The smallest thing could set him off, and I'm very non confrontational, so I'd run and hide.  I don't have to do that anymore.  Also, when he does start, I feel empowered to know that I can now tell him that if he's going to act like that, he can go home. *LOL*

I'm lucky to have my mom.  Even though she doesn't understand everything, she does try.  I know that when I start getting into transonic results and stuff like that, she kinda glazes over, but at least she's pretending that she's listening. *L*  I know she understand some, but she understands PD much better than she does HD.  She was who looked after me when I was on dialysis as a child.  She did all the work with the machines, hooking and unhooking me, giving medications, taking samples.  I wasn't allowed to do any of it.  The HD, however, is a whole new world to her, and she doesn't like being at the unit when I'm on.  When we're in NY, she goes for a walk.  She went for a walk when we were in Ottawa this summer, and neither of us had been there before.  I get it, and I don't hold it against her.  Everyone has a breaking point, and I think hers was the realization that for her daughter to live, she'd need to be stuck with huge ass needles 3 times a week for an unknown period of time.  I know she loves me, and she's the only one in my family who's willing to be tested to give me a kidney, even though she knows she's a incompatible blood type.  She's going to make an appointment in the new year with the neph to see what we need to do to get on the paired donor exchange registry.

As awesome as I think my mom is, she's not a really touchy feely kind of person, and I am.  It's something I don't mind getting from my dad. *L*  I get most of my hugs concentrated in a 5 day period, when I visit my friend Kelly in New Jersey.  Like me, she's rather touchy feely, and doesn't get nearly as many hugs as she should.  Sometimes I think that it sucks that the person I talk to the most is about 1000 miles and across the border to my south.  I'm glad I have her, though.  We came into each other's lives when we needed each other.  I can only wish that everyone could have a friend like her.

I know I"m lucky to have the few people that I do, and if they'd go for it, I'd gladly share

[vivalaslele]

Check out: http://prescription4love.com/

ps GLM- maybe we should start a kidney patient dating site, like match.com except for people with kidney probs!! lol we might be millionaires!!!

OMFG!!! Im checking this out right now!!

[RichardMEL]

Some years ago it was tried - renalromance it was called. Kind of was a bit of a flop, sadly.

[KICKSTART]

Yeah i remember that , to be honest i think the problem was kidney patients dont want to date kidney patients ! Although we have a 'bang tidy' chappie just started dialysis with us a few weeks ago ...  

[cdwbrooklyn]

I agree.  I must be honest as well.  As a kidney patient, I do not want to date another kidney patient.   Why, I don't want someone to remind me of myself.  It's bad enough that I'm on dialysis.  Both of us don't need to be.    Just the way I feel.   

[RichardMEL]

Question: Would you date a transplant patient? They still have kidney disease, even if they aren't on dialysis at the moment.

I'm in two minds on the subject of dating a kidney person. On the one hand you know all the struggles they will have to go through and the various things that can happen (both good and bad) and vice-versa. That's a positive in my book because at least you'd both get some understanding when the disease gets in the way(eg: tiredness). However by the same token it is negative when you have to deal with your own stuff and then there's another person also trying to deal - that COULD get overwhealming at times - specially if both partners were going through rough patches at the time.

I am reminded of a recent new member who met her partner right after they BOTH got kidney transplants and now are both on dialysis. I believe they're now married. Clearly it can work for some - and I think that's wonderful.

I think if the right person came along for me that would be more important than worrying about the kidney disease aspect.. I mean I *know* that CKD is not the end of the world...... and you CAN have a life with it.

[vivalaslele]

Richard I think its awesome that you are so positive. I agree with you about dating someone with cdk. On one hand you know your partner will  totally understand what youre going through, but at the same time it might get dificult if you are both going through a rough time at the same time. I guess im feeling a little hopeless about dating in general or ever meeting someone that will be able to handle my medical issues. At this point i guess it doesnt matter because im not even feeling good enough about myself to really let another person into my world. Anyway, I appreciate your positivity!! Its awesome and gives me some hope!!

[casper2636]

I think a dating site for kidney dialysis patients would be great! I'm always feeling like I'm alone and who would want to date some one like me? I would! I'm a great person who is going through a period of time that is especially hard. I would like to talk/date some one that can relate and sympathise but also some one that can say "SNAP OUT OF IT!". There is always hope and the future can hold unknown possibilities!!! I have my quirks and challenge anyone that claim they do not.
All we want out of this world is love and peace (within and out), and we should be able to find it. If not by dating, but by at least making good friends and confidants.
Could we try it again??