Oh Lostwife, you sure have been through the wringer. The suppressed immune system is just part of renal failure but to have to deal with that and a toddler and a full time job and DC...wow! My only suggestion is to educate your hubby on handwashing, keep sanitzer out everywhere in your home and even get some of those wipes for him so he han keep them in his pocket. Everytime he touches anything, he could then sanitize and hopefully lower the risk a little.
Please be sure to intro youirself in the intro forum as there are lots of folks on here who might have some better suggestions. Meantime, here's a cyber hug for you.