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Author Topic: Sharon has made the BIG decision  (Read 13801 times)
silverhead
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« on: September 21, 2010, 07:49:22 PM »
I had to call the ambulance last Thursday morning after Sharon experienced about three days of vomiting and not eating, the bottom line was that she has so much scar tissue from previous abdominal surgeries that it has caused a complete blockage of her intestines and the only possibility is for invasive surgery, today the surgeons finally came and laid out what can be done, they feel she would probably survive the surgery but would have to go into intensive care afterward and be on a ventilator and that the prognosis of survival was not good at all, Sharon was lucid enough that she understood what they were saying and told them clearly that she did not want any more intervention medically, she wants to stop dialysis and let nature take it's course. It's painful as hell, but I have to respect her wish's, her quality of life is just too poor to ask her to continue......
Tom
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boswife
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« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2010, 07:54:55 PM »
oh my Tom, im so awful awful sorry.... This breaks my heart.. I was so hoping that this wasnt what i was going to be reading..  Bless your heart dear husband for respecting her wishes.  Im just so sad right now..  You are doing the right thing, bless you, but it's what no one wishes we had to do..  I pray for comfort and peace through this.  bless you
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im a california wife and cargiver to my hubby
He started dialysis April 09
We thank God for every day we are blessed to have together.
november 2010, patiently (ha!) waiting our turn for NxStage training
January 14,2011 home with NxStage
cariad
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« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2010, 08:13:56 PM »
Oh, Tom. I just had no idea. Of course it's devastatingly painful. I am so sorry to hear this.

You both are in my thoughts.
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jbeany
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« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2010, 09:12:04 PM »
 :grouphug;
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RichardMEL
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« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2010, 09:13:50 PM »
 :grouphug;

my best wishes at this difficult time.
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
thegrammalady
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« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2010, 09:35:01 PM »
 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; not an easy decision
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« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2010, 09:44:45 PM »

I am so sorry. When we love someone we want them with us, but not if life is without joy and comfort. My heart breaks for you both. Sending love and hugs  :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
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« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2010, 09:53:54 PM »
 :cuddle;
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caregiver to husband Frank

bladder cancer 1994
renal failure April 2009 due to blocked right ureter. Left kidney 20% function
November 18 2009 surgery to remove right ureter.
April 3, 2010 removal bladder, prostrate, left kidney.
June 11, 2010 started Hemo @ hospital
July 2, 2010 Embolized right Kidney due to hemoraging of tumor
September 11, 2010 RIP my love
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« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2010, 09:57:46 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear this and glad that you are strong enough to grant her wishes.  My prayers are with you both. :pray;
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looneytunes
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« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2010, 10:34:17 PM »
Tom:  I am so sorry that you both are going through this.  It is a difficult decision for her to make and for you to agree to.  Bless you for caring enough for her to allow her to do things her way.  And bless you for being the man you have been for her.  My heart aches for you both and my prayers will include you daily.   :grouphug;
« Last Edit: September 22, 2010, 07:29:33 AM by looneytunes » Logged
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Sunny
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Sunny
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2010, 10:57:19 PM »
This must be so hard for you but standing by Sharon in her time of need is a wonderful expression of your love for her.
I am sorry things worked out this way. She must be having a lot of difficulties and I hope the medical people will make things easy for her.
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Jean
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« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2010, 11:24:46 PM »
Oh Tom, that is just awful. I do understand tho, Sharon has been thru a lot and I would not want to go thru that either. God Bless you for allowing her to make this decision.
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« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2010, 12:40:06 AM »
What a shame Tom.  First Frank and now Sharon.  But there comes a time when the quality of our life is so bad that it is not worth it to fight on.  I pray that the medical team will help it be as easy on Sharon as they can.  Please know that our prayers and thoughts will be with you and Sharon.  And I pray that God will make this time as easy as possible. 
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« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2010, 02:38:20 AM »
Many, many *huggles*.  Thinking of you both.
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
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Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
monrein
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« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2010, 05:00:09 AM »
 :grouphug;  for you both.
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
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« Reply #15 on: September 22, 2010, 05:27:02 AM »
 :'(  :( :(
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Natalya – Sydney, Australia
wife of Gregory, who is the kidney patient: 
1986: kidney failure at 19 years old, cause unknown
PD for a year, in-centre haemo for 4 years
Transplant 1 lasted 21 years (Lucy: 1991 - 2012), failed due to Transplant glomerulopathy
5 weeks Haemo 2012
Transplant 2 (Maggie) installed Feb 13, 2013, returned to work June 17, 2013 average crea was 130, now is 140.
Infections in June / July, hospital 1-4 Aug for infections.

Over the years:  skin cancer; thyroidectomy, pneumonia; CMV; BK; 14 surgeries
Generally glossy and happy.

2009 - 2013 PhD research student : How people make sense of renal failure in online discussion boards
Submitted February 2013 :: Graduated Sep 2013.   http://godbold.name/experiencingdialysis/
Heartfelt thanks to IHD, KK and ADB for your generosity and support.
paul.karen
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« Reply #16 on: September 22, 2010, 05:47:52 AM »
God bless you both.
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Operation for PD placement 7-14-09
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« Reply #17 on: September 22, 2010, 08:35:03 AM »
 :grouphug; :grouphug;
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gothiclovemonkey
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« Reply #18 on: September 22, 2010, 11:32:16 AM »
Im sorry to hear this, and i cant imagine what u both must be going thru
 :grouphug;
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MooseMom
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« Reply #19 on: September 22, 2010, 12:23:36 PM »
What a terribly sad thing.  Hold her close and comfort her heart.   :grouphug;
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Meinuk
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« Reply #20 on: September 22, 2010, 12:54:33 PM »
Tom, my heart breaks for both of you.  I hope that you both find peace and comfort in the next days.  You and Sharon have been an amazing inspiration for me (and so many others) you are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Anna Bennett
« Last Edit: September 22, 2010, 05:18:38 PM by Meinuk » Logged
Research Dialysis Units:  http://projects.propublica.org/dialysis/

52 with PKD
deceased donor transplant 11/2/08
nxstage 10/07 - 11/08;  30LS/S; 20LT/W/R  @450
temp. permcath:  inserted 5/07 - removed 7/19/07
in-center hemo:  m/w/f 1/12/07
list: 6/05
a/v fistula: 5/05
NxStage training diary post (10/07):  http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=5229.0
Newspaper article: Me dialyzing alone:  http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=7332.0
Transplant post 11/08):  http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=10893.msg187492#msg187492
Fistula removal post (7/10): http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=18735.msg324217#msg324217
Post Transplant Skin Cancer (2/14): http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=30659.msg476547#msg476547

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Darthvadar
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« Reply #21 on: September 22, 2010, 01:20:22 PM »
Tom, I'm very sorry to hear this.....

Thankfully Sharon was in a position to make this decision herself... That's really important.... This way you're absolutely certain that this is how she wants it....

Thinking of, and praying for you both....

May God bless and protect you...

Love...

Darth....
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
Mizar
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« Reply #22 on: September 22, 2010, 02:13:33 PM »

 This is Difficult and I'm Sorry, your Family is going through it. Peace and Courage, to both of You.
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carol1987
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« Reply #23 on: September 23, 2010, 04:52:34 AM »
Thinking of you....... so sorry.... :cuddle;
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Diagnosed with  PKD July 2002 (no family history)
Fistula placed April 2009
Placed on Transplant list April 2009
Started HD 10/6/10
Transplanted 1/6/11 (Chain Transplant My altruistic donor was  "Becky from Chicago" , and DH Mike donated on my behalf and the chain continued...)
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« Reply #24 on: September 23, 2010, 04:57:26 AM »
 :pray; I pray that God will give you and your family, as well as your wife, the strength to get through this awful time. 

God be with you! 
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Brother Passed away - 1990 - Liver Disease
Diagnosed w/ Polycystic Kidney Disease - 1998
Mother passed away - Feb. 1999 - PKD
Sister passed away - Feb. 2006 - PKD
AV Fistula / Upper Left Arm - September 2009
Father passed away - September 2009
In-Center Hemo Dialysis - April 2010
Broken Knee Cap - January 2015
Diagnosed w/ A-Fib October 2017
Surgery to repair Hiatal Hernia 2018
Multiple Fistula Grams / Angioplasty's since then!


Hating Dialysis since Day 1 and everyday since then!!!!  :)
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