The B**** Nurse from hell..

[KICKSTART]

is at it again . I know many of you find it incredulous the things i endure at dialysis and so do i. So much so i sometimes fear for my sanity ...well bit drastic, but think i may be pushed to a breakdown if this is the way it keeps going.
I know you only know me from my postings , having never met in person, but im a mature person and an HONEST one.
Yesterday was 'another' terrible session' and the staff had put me in that little side room (i guess people are getting fed up of hearing me wretch!)  So i was in the little side room and from nowhere i had a sixth sense kick in ..i knew something was coming. You remember the nurse that tried to throw me off the unit ? well she was working and we had no 'Sister' on duty ..which usually means she thinks shes top dog. So after last times events and her making all sorts of lies up about me , i got my little voice recorder out and into my pocket . The worst thing i want to add is ..it didnt work ! it was too muffled to make out what she was saying. DAM !
Anyway i dont know about your units but we sort of have a start time , but if your machine is ready they will let you in on a first come ,first served business. I drive in , while everyone else uses hospital transport, so i usually get there first. So far its never been a problem , if my machine isnt ready i wait , no big deal. I dont erupt!
So this nurse starts to put me on and makes a comment about me getting here early, i said ..well its the same time i always get here more or less. She then told me ..4 other patients have priority over me ! One admittedly i do know about because he does 5 hours , but its never been an issue, he gets put on first.
Now the second one could turn me racist ..sorry. Its an indian woman who HAS to be on by a certain time because her family want her home at a certain time to eat with them ! Wouldnt we all like to do that ?  Then there are 2 other patients neither have reason to be put on before me, we are all equal.  She then proceeded to tell me the 'Sister ' was DISGUSTED yes disgusted with me for turning up early (we are talking 20 mins max here) I was so hoping i had her on tape ..but i havent  I intend to take this up with the sister on tuesday but in an apologetic way for being early ..rather than attack the nurse , then i can question why the sister is disgusted with me. I think it will get me further. I am just so mad i cannot prove it . She also told me my neph appt had been changed to the last one . Why? because i take up too much of his time !  What the hell am i going to do ? Yes , yes change units , which leaves me travelling a lot further and means she wins . I lose out all round if i do that.





TOPIC MOVED to appropriate Section -  Bajanne, Moderator

[jbeany]

Oooooh, I can be oh-so-polite and a bitch at the same time!
 "The last appointment?  Fabulous!  Now I can take all the time I want for once and know I'm not making another patient wait.  Maybe I'll finally get ALL my questions answered for once!"

"Gee, xxxx told me you were disgusted with me for always being early.  Yep, "disgusted" is the exact word she used.  I would SOOOO hate to be late, either though, since I'm sure that would inconvenience you just as much as my being early.  How early is the right time for me to show up?  Should I just wait outside until the exact minute I'm supposed to be here?"

Now if you can practice saying that while using big Bambi innocent eyes and syrupy cheerful voice, you can really annoy them right back!

Seriously, see if there's a better place to put the tape recorder that's out of sight, but that doesn't cover the microphone.

I'd also ask the sister about the priority list "Just so I could wait out in the hall until everyone who has priority has come in before me - but only if that works better for you....."

Get that recorder working!

[KICKSTART]

jbeany ...i love your sentiment. My plan was sort of similar at my next session. My neph , well im going to tackle him about me taking up too much of his time ..isnt that what he is paid for ? As for what the nurse said , i thought i would go to the 'Sister ' when she is in next session (tues) and firstly apologise for not realising that x and x have priority over me but i found it very upsetting for her to say she was 'disgusted' with me for being early and then take it from her reply ! Also out unit is open till 7pm we are the last shift in. I know the nurses like to have everyone off and be away around 6.30pm . So if going in early is disgusting , lets see what going in late is ..just so im off just before 7pm..well i might as well have that extra time at home than sit in a corridor ! At least all the people with priority will be happy!

[*kana*]

I'm confused.....if you get there 20minutes early what is the big deal.  Your chair isn't going to be used by anyone else for a couple hours anyhow.  So if someone wants to be hooked up earlier then you, they need to get there earlier then you.  I feel if the chair is open, then get there and get it all over with.  What is all this about priority patients?  It should be a first come, first serve business.   

[MooseMom]

This nurse has problems.  Seriously, I think there is something not quite right in her world, and she is taking it out on you.  She may well be taking it out on other people, too, but you're included, it seems, in that little party.

Listen, Ricky G, I'd be very careful about believing what this nurse is telling you.  Are you absolutely sure that the sister REALLY did say that she was "disgusted" with you?  Are you absolutely sure that the neph REALLY thinks you are taking up too much of his time?  REALLY?  How can you trust what this cow is claiming others are saying about you?  I don't know what her game is, but I truly would be surprised if she is telling porkies.

[Genlando]

I agree with JBEANY.  I run for about 4 and a half hours, so I try to get in early most of the time.  Some of the staff will call back some of their "favorite" patients before me, and delay my start time.  A couple of times, I got in at 8:30 am, and didn't get on until almost 11:00.  They eventually realized that they were only making their day longer than it had to be.

[Poppylicious]

I'm inclined to agree with MooseMom; I doubt the Sister used the actual word 'disgusted'.  It seems ridiculous that this nurse would bring it up as an issue if you're happy to wait and never kick up a real fuss.  She does seem to have some sort of problem, not least because anything said about patients shouldn't really then be discussed with patients.  It would be like me grumbling to another teacher about a student at work and then that teacher telling the student what I said.  Which isn't to say that I think the Sister is grumbling about you (it seems a trivial thing; I'm sure she doesn't!), it's just an example of professionality.

So, it's Tuesday - did you go in with the softly-softly apologetic approach to gage her reaction? 

The neph issue could work out better for you; maybe he changed your appointment so that he could give you extra time and not be rushed when answering your questions and queries?

I know I was one of the people who suggested that taping the conversations you have was a good idea, but I'm now a bit wary of that; the angel on my shoulder is wondering if there are any legalities involved which could make it a Bad Thing.  You could always make the tape-recorder known; if she knew it was there she'd only tell you the truth!

Hope everything was okay today.

 

[jbeany]

Poppy, I don't know about the law in England, but in America, you can only complain about being recorded if you are in private.  The nurse can't have any expectation of privacy in an open clinic setting.  Besides, Kick isn't planning on using it to press charges - only to get the higher ups to hear what's going on. 

Besides, she's writing a novel about a dialysis patient, and was using it dictate notes to herself when the nurse just happened to show up while it was on......

[Genlando]

I usually write a poison-pen letter to the head of whatever operation I'm ticked off with.  Here's an excerpt of a letter that I drafted to the head of Fresenius last week, when I was dealing with a nasty nurse at my center (the names and details have been redacted to protect the guilty):


Ben Lipps, CEO
Fresenius Medical Care North America
920 Winter Street
Waltham, MA 02451-1457

Dear Mr. Lipps:

I'm a patient at the _________ Dialysis Center in _______, South Carolina, and I wanted to make you aware of the conduct of one of your employees--_________________.

(Give specific examples of bad behavior here)

Nurse ________'s personality is so caustic, and her treatment of me and several other patients is so hostile thatI have often been tempted to miss treatments, even though this will have negatively impact my health.  I am certain that I'm not the only person dissatisfied with her behavior, as I have heard similar complaints from other patients at the __________ Center.  Furthermore, I have reported this misconduct to the Center Director, ______________.  The only response that I've gotten from him/her is that Nurse __________ is "the best of the best," and that it would be best to simply put up with her attitude.

Mr. Lipps, I find the above response unacceptable.  While technical expertise is an important part of the dialysis treatment equation, it is not the only ingredient.  In my opinion, it's less than half of what's required. Professionalism is the main ingredient.  As I'm sure you're quite aware, End-Stage Renal Failure is a grave disease; I would doubtless be dead by now if it weren't for the treatments that I receive via your ____________ Dialysis Center.  It certainly doesn't help my medical condition, when I dread coming in for my treatments when I know that I'll have to deal with a person as abrasive as Nurse ________.

I'll put this another way, Mr. Lipps:  would you ever again want to patronize a restaurant where the staff is hostile to you? (Maybe that's not a valid question, as I see your headquarters is near Boston--where several restaurants are famous for their impolite staff; even so, I hope you get my point).  Chances are, you'd never want to deal with such an operation again, and that's just for a $100-$200 meal.  How do you think I feel about having to deal with a business that bills my insurance thousands of dollars a month?  I'm astonished that such unprofessionalism is allowed to happen in your operation.

Thus far, Nurse ____________ is the only Fresenius employee with whom I have experienced such behavior; in fact, I'd say that the other people at ____________ Dialysis Center are shining examples of professionalism.  Nurse _________ attitude, however totally darkens  the whole experience at _______Dialysis Center, and I'm sure you can understand why that's the case.

Long-term, I plan to move my dialyis treatments home; however, that probably won't be possible until early next year.  In the interim, the ___________ Center is my lifeline.  It's unbelievable that such unprofessionalism is countenanced in such a mission-critical operation.  I trust that you'll investigate this issue in a timely fashion, and address this as soon as possible.


Sincerely,


Genlando

[casper2636]

I am in shock about these true Horror Stories. How could these nurses (if you can even call them that!) be so horrible! Dialysis is a nightmare in itself, how could they even dare to make it worse? I'm blessed in my clinic that we can come in, sit in our chairs and be on close to our times. If we arrive before the person before us, they will put us on, if the person comes while we are being worked on, the nurse might leave to get the other person started, but no big deal. We do have one man that pitches a fit if he's not first on, but he has no where to go afterward, so I just don't know what stick he has up his butt. But they just shut him up but putting him on ( he is first but always late!) I hope there is so kind of resolution in the future for you.

[Poppylicious]

Besides, she's writing a novel about a dialysis patient, and was using it dictate notes to herself when the nurse just happened to show up while it was on......

*chuckles*

I just wasn't sure; I didn't want this nurse (or others in the unit) to become more of a b!tch if they later found out they were being 'spied' on.  I think I just worry too much.

 

[MooseMom]

1.  I like Genlando's letter.

2.  It's not reasonable to assume that every nurse, tech or doc you come across at a dialysis clinic is going to be your soulmate or your best friend.  However, the nurse in question is downright hostile, and that is not reasonable, either.  If this person was working at any other service organization, she'd be fired immediately because of lack of professionalism.  Just because you are forced to be there does not make her behaviour tolerable.

3.  Be very careful about taping someone without their knowledge.  Here in the state of Illinois, that is a felony.  My husband is an attorney for a city in the state, and had to fire a city employee recently because this guy taped his boss.

[okarol]

I would put the tape recorder right in the open and say, "Oh by the way Nurse PainintheAss, I hope you don't mind if I record our discussion." Maybe she'll shut up. 

[RichardMEL]

Hang a sign up on your machine or inform them in a monotone when they approach you each session: "Your service is important to me. To ensure customer satisfication your treatment may be recorded and/or monitored. If you do not want this conversation recorded please inform your patient immediately and walk away! BEEP!"

[KICKSTART]

Trust you guys to cheer me up from a dire situation! I can always count on you ! Well two things to report back ,firstly i am on the road to proceeding with an official complaint. Neither the nurse or the sister in question was in work yesterday but i did speak to another sister who was covering (in confidence)
Im sorry guys but sometimes its hard to put things across in writing but what i should have said was , i dont have any doubt that the sister in question did say i was disgusting, i get on well with her and its not her style and she is very professional. I think that is just a comment from the b**** nurse, who doesnt for a minute think i will take it any further !
Secondly did i mention somewhere about the same nurse changing my neph's appt?  You know me i make sooooo many posts ! I lose track of what info i put where!
If i didnt quick recap: I had a appt with neph for tuesday and this same nurse changed it on thurs to the last appt, and gave my time to someone else ! When i asked why? she said my neph had requested it because i took up too much of his time , so by putting me last i wouldnt be holding up anyone else.
WELL GUESS WHAT  .....i asked him outright ! He was astounded and said he had made no such request and no such comment . So now ive got that B****.
I have to put my complaint in writing , it will then be looked at and the action determined from it. I have to discuss it with no one on the unit and if that nurse comes to put me on ..politely ask for another nurse, i have been told if she starts or wants to know why to tell her im sorry its not open for discussion today. Luckily if she does start i wont yet be hooked up to a machine ,so can keep her out in the open for all to hear !
She sure is in for a shock !!!! I wish i could be a fly on the wall when she goes up before her seniors !
In the meantime ..thankyou my friends and if any of you would like to forward me draughts or suggestions for wording of my complaint they can only be of use to me !

[Poppylicious]

I LOVE writing letters of complaint!  Maybe I'll offer my services ... 

Blokey's neph told us to write a letter of complaint when we had that hoo-ha with the missed whateveritwas on the x-ray (see, it was SO important that I can't even remember!), and then closed ranks and allegedly defended the person in question.  I was a tad upset about that but realise that by writing the letter and bringing our disatisfaction about the situation into the open (so to speak) it allowed for the person in question to at least realise she'd made a mistake when otherwise she may not have done.  That's just to forewarn you that she may not get into as much trouble as you hope (or at least, not publicly.) 

I do hope it works in your favour though.   

[MooseMom]

If she is lying to you about what other people are saying, then it is probable that she is lying to others about you.  This is your opportunity to set the record straight.

Look, I know that this woman has made your life hell, and you need to do what it takes to keep her away from you.  That's what your letter should be about.  I tend to be a soft touch, so what I'm about to say next you can just ignore if you want.  But I can't help but feel that this woman is deeply bitter and twisted and unhappy, and I don't know if you would feel good about having her punished.  It might be enough to just make sure she is kept away from you, and it looks from your post that this is exactly what will happen.  Keep your letter professional and matter of fact; try not to attack anyone.  I'd bet that the powers that be have no idea of what this woman has done; surely they want to have a happy, well run clinic with satisfied patients, so they'll appreciate you telling them of your difficulties.  I know you can be diplomatic; if you feel like you want to go on the attack (with ever right to feel that way), come to IHD and post all of that here.

I really hope things are settled to your liking; you are having a tough enough time without having to deal with a hostile nurse.  You are a smart lady who knows what she wants and how to get it.  And I know you have a kind heart, too.

[KICKSTART]

Thanks guys ..no i dont want to go on the attack but i will not let her make me feel 2 feet tall and change things round to inconvienence  me and favour others (by changing appt times) I also worry that if she is capable of contradicting the 'top mans' arrangements and making statements supposedly to have come from him , then what else is she capable of ? Does she now think she runs the unit? What else is she altering? I was talking to one of the older ladies yesterday and without prompting she told me that after her last session she was totally drained (she is in her 80's) and requested a chair to take her down to the entrance (a regular practice for some older patients) the same nurse REFUSED to go get her one and said ..no you walked in , so you can walk out. I have been told you cant have a chair. Which is B.S. I told the lady she MUST report it (but i couldnt say why) and will try again tomorrow to get her too. Its things like this im worried about. I can and will if need be, stand up to her and from now on will question everything she says or does, but other people need me to do this. If she is so far in the wrong she will only get the punishment she deserves , i dont not set that . (my ideal punishment would be to give her a month of hemo !) 

[gothiclovemonkey]

Poppy, I don't know about the law in England, but in America, you can only complain about being recorded if you are in private.  The nurse can't have any expectation of privacy in an open clinic setting.  Besides, Kick isn't planning on using it to press charges - only to get the higher ups to hear what's going on. 

Besides, she's writing a novel about a dialysis patient, and was using it dictate notes to herself when the nurse just happened to show up while it was on......

I actually know someone who got arrested for recording a convo had between them and a coworker..... in America, at MCDonalds of all places, so be careful with that thing.

also, sorry to hear that people are giving u a hard time. I know that when they arent nice to u, it just makes it that much harder to go. my old clinic (which was in the town i lived in own a house in) had some mean nurses would tell me to shut up when i got cramps and started crying and stuff. So i switched clinics (an hour drive from my house, ended up renting an apartment closer still a 30 min drive) just because i hated that clinic that much.

[MooseMom]

Ah, so this nurse is making life unpleasant for other patients, too, I see.  Yes, it is time for this problem to be addressed.  If you can help protect your fellow patients from the NaziNurse, then go for it.  Good for you for sticking up for yourself and for others.

[KICKSTART]

I would just like to add that you can tape a conversation without the persons knowledge but CANNOT use it without their permission over here. But to my mind the only way a person would refuse to let you use it was if they had something to hide , if you didnt it would prove you did /said nothing wrong!

[Constantcrave40]

I guess u could talk to the top nurse and request that tech not put u on.

[kitkatz]

I have always been the late comer to the dialysis unit, so if they did not put me on quickly they would be there late with me.   If it was my fault I was late, I would take some of the time loss.  But if it was the unit's fault, I would make them stay until i was done with my hours. I made a few centers grit their teeth at me, but my health is important to me.

[ChickenLittle56]

I totally agree withe Katz, at the old clinic I was on the last shift and if I got there late I knew that I would have time taken away although some PCTs were NICE enough to leave me on the entire treatment BUT if it was due to their mismanagement then I would demand the entire time. I would try to accommodate those who were nice to me. There was one nurse that would cut you off no matter what if it got close to quitting time. I would complain to unit manager and sometimes I would get results but she would go back to the usual treatment of us after a while. BTW I must be a glutton for punishment because I go back that same clinic, even though there dozens of clinics in the city, when I go to visit my family.