I also have another patient that programs her machine, sticks herself, takes herself off, resets the alarms. I told her she should be on payroll She tried home hemo but did not like it.
My favorite though was the guy who got ticked off because he'd been waiting a while for the nurse to get to him so I jokingly said that if he did it himself he'd have been on already...
I'm fascinated by this thread so let me make a contribution. Firstly, age and eyesight don't matter (as long as you are not blind!) because for most of us as you get older there is some deterioration in your eyes...you end up with glasses for reading at least. So I'm 75 and need glasses to see my buttonhole...lucky me, I just happen to have the right pair for the distance required.As for self cannulation, my centre uses a simple rule...they separate those who will from those who won't. If you won't (and there are plenty for many valid reasons...I'm not knocking anyone) the nurse will look after you.But if you are prepared to try, a nurse will teach you how using the button hole technique. There are fewer of us in this section. We learn how to set up the machine, self cannulate, deal with problems, finish up and strip and clean the machine. After about 3 months we end up going home and dialysing in our own time.But it is real hard being prepared to stick a needle in yourself so i deeply understand why people won't.