My brother and I have been called in to see the neph.....

[RichardMEL]

Anyone following my sig will have noticed the comment about my brother being tested for a potential ABO incompatable transplant - this started about a year ago and has dragged on for months - in part because my brother went to India twice - but also mostly because the neph has dragged it out. I think a bit on purpose. My neph is one of the most senior renal professors in the country and highly respected(Good) but I think he's a bit old school and somewhat wary about the newer technology involved with ABO incompatable transplants. My gut feeling is that he has been hoping that I'd get the call and we wouldn't have to do the ABO. In a way I'm actually sort of OK with that(if that's the case) because I'm a bit iffy about taking an organ from my brother because I know I would always feel this responsibility for his health.

Well a week ago my brother was admitted to the ER with a suspected kidney stone (oh no!) which passed uneventually(if you discard the pain he was in). More tests have happened apparently he has cysts all through his liver but they think he's had them all his life and not a big deal.

Well in between all this drama a call came in from my neph's P/A asking BOTH of us to come in to see him - pulling forward my regular appointment from the end of July to July 8th(his first free slot).

So initially I thought "Well he'll say because of the kidney stone thing that the testing is off we won't bother proceeding" but then I figured why would he want to see BOTH of us for that - he'd only need to see my brother.

So then a potential reason came to me - during my last appointment the doc mentioned to me that they were considering starting up paired exchange here, and he asked how I felt about that. I said honestly that I probably would prefer that to ABO as the technology was more settled for a live donation of a compatable kidney.

So i figure, what if they have a paired donation in mind and someone lined up possibly? That would explain calling both of us in, and possibly why he wants to do it "ASAP" (yeahin his world 3 weeks is ASAP given how busy he is!).

The more I think about it, the more I can't see any other reason to get us both in together.

I'm still not sure how I feel about it - even if my brother winds up donating to a stranger - I'd still feel funny/responsible about it -should anything happen to him health wise that could be tracked back to him donating - well that weighs on me.. even though I understand it is his choice to want to donate and his understanding of the risks etc in doing so... if I didn't need it he wouldn't have to go through something like that.

So anyway i guess it will be interesting to find out what it's all about....

[MooseMom]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!  This is just so wonderful!  I think you are probably right in your hypothesis!!  If a paired donation program is being started, who better to be the initial pair than you and your brother. OK, so July 8 is really just around the corner, and once you've had your appt, you MUST come and tell us all about it.  Oh, this would be so fantastic that I can hardly find the words.

I don't know what to say about your feelings of "responsibility"; these seem to be common feelings, and I'm sure I'd feel the same way.  I think I would just 1. make sure the donor knew how very grateful I was and 2. hope that the donor is thrilled to be doing something to save the life of someone he loves.  Before FSGS, I gave blood on a regular basis, and it always gave me such pleasure to know that what I was doing could literally save a life; there is no better feeling.  Your brother has the opportunity to do something truly heroic, and you both should feel great pride.

I agree that the paired donation route would be better than ABO incompatibility because the great thing is that both get to help another pair of people.
I just can't wait to hear more!!!!

[RichardMEL]

hey if the donor is a hot blonde (gal) i'll accept in an instant... 

no wait, I think that should be the other way around..... 

anyway will let you all know ASAP what, if anything, transpires

[bette1]

Hope that it's good news.

[Jean]

This is sounding really good Richard and I am excited to hear what he has to say. OMG, I so hope you are going to get a kidney.

[RichardMEL]

Well I suppose this is an ok place to post this, but I did see a psychic last week (first time ever!) and she claimed that I would get a transplant between oct and march, and that I would be in hospital for 10-12 days. There would be a concern with rejection but it would be OK and while it would be painful it would be worth it as it would wind up a success.

Sooooooo you read it here... if it comes to pass... well... that would be nice  

[MooseMom]

Oooooooooooooooooooooo!  Who needs a neph when you have a psychic!  That would be so cool if she's right.  Why not?!

[RichardMEL]

well she also claimed that I would live well into my 90's which gave me a giggle given my condition AND that my cat sees dead people - so the source may be a bit questionable! 

[Mimi]

Well Richard I don't know about the psychic but if the Drs are thinking of a paired donation,
I'm all for it.  Will be sending good thoughts your way in the meanwhile.

Mimi

[natnnnat]

Well if anywone was going to see dead people it would be a cat.  Haven't you ever seen their reflector eyes?

[Dianejt]

  I sure hope everything works out for you Richard. The waiting can be hardest part. Years ago I went to a psychic & she told me I would get a brand new red car & the first time I drove it I would be in an accident.......... I never buy red cars & Frank teases me about this all the time & every time we go to a "car dealer" the psychic story is told....
Just remember your brother loves you & I'm sure if the tables where turned you would do the same. Best wishes.

[galvo]

Sounding good, Richard. And the Tiges are winning!

[Beth36]

I don't post as often as I used to but there are a few people I check up on from time to time and you are one of them. I am so hopeful for you and your possible transplant opportunity!! Fingers crossed for you!!!

[RichardMEL]

Sounding good, Richard. And the Tiges are winning!

truly proof that miracles CAN happen!!!!  (2 in a row!)

[cariad]

This was such a delightful read. I cannot wait to hear whether your suspicions are confirmed. I cannot think of another reason for you both to be called, either. Receiving across blood groups sounds really complicated. It was described to me by a surgeon years ago, and he told me it was not a pleasant option. Sounds very much like desensitization or what I went through with chemo, and I think it's so new, they do not know if these transplants hold out long term.

I love the psychic story, Richard. I desperately want to know, though - did you explain kidney transplant risks to her, or did she come up with the rejection story on her own? So many people seem to be unaware that transplants require lifetime maintenance and that one can reject the organ. In hospital for 10-12 days for a standard transplant??!! Crikey! I hope not....

I am so wishing that one way or the other, this is it for you. You've been on the list such a long time, who knows, perhaps you'll get the call as you wait to finalize things with your brother. The universe has a funny way of operating. Good luck! I am ludicrously impatient, so I'll be expecting that update July 7 (US). 

PS: I actually went to a psychic party many years ago, although I do not believe in them at all. I've read a lot of James Randi, so I know their tricks. I met with the psychic, and kept my hands under the table (to hide my wedding ring). After listening to her stutter for a couple minutes, getting everything consistently wrong, I finally decided that as I was paying for this, I would treat it as fun theatre, and put my hands on the table. Suddenly she perked up, and started going to town with the predictions. She asked who the little boy was that she saw me holding. (I was pregnant at the time, but made her take a few guesses first.) We sooooo wanted a boy, and she had a 50% chance of being right, and she got it. She also said I would be a teacher, to which I immediately thought 'no way' but I did end up teaching ESL, maths, and citizenship to refugees for a year. My husband and I wanted to move to Africa at that time, she said that probably was not going to happen, but that the UK was a strong possibility. She also said we would sell our house around Easter, and that did actually happen. I still do not believe in psychics, but October to March sounds like a safe, promising prediction.

[RichardMEL]

I love the psychic story, Richard. I desperately want to know, though - did you explain kidney transplant risks to her, or did she come up with the rejection story on her own? So many people seem to be unaware that transplants require lifetime maintenance and that one can reject the organ. In hospital for 10-12 days for a standard transplant??!! Crikey! I hope not....

Well I don't want to keep a lovely lady desperate  so here goes

Like you I am a bit of a sceptic, so I went in waiting to see how it would all work and I gave this person as little as possible. When I booked the appointment I gave her my first name only and my mobile phone number. When I called I called from my work phone which is in the city, and if she had caller ID and checked the number it would come up as my work's general number - if she somehow managed to get hold of a staff list, there are heaps of Richards.... I went in wearing long sleeved top to obviously hide my fistula(plus it's winter, so it was cold, so it wasn't an abnormal outfit to wear).

I have to say - I understand a lot of them use body language and listen VERY carefully to what you say to get hints and use psychology to hone in on things you will react to... so I tried to be careful with that and not give her anything much - but really at some point you have to share a bit or else it's a pretty dumb exercise.

Anyway look I have to say there are MANY things that she got absolutely right, and I can think of NO possible way she could know that stuff - even with body language and anything I might have said. Some quick examples - she got exactly the correct suburb I live in (even she was floored when I confirmed it!) - and there is NO WAY she could have known. I did not mention the way I got there, or anything like that, so there's no way. She talked about lots of little details that if they were random guesses they were pretty spot on, like my mum had great skin(she did!) or that my dad was "odd" (true!)... now if you were just throwing stuff out there hoping to get a hit, these don't seem like things to just throw out there because they're kind of specific.

Anyway on to the kidney answer. It basically went like this. We were talking about my beloved cat and she suddenly upped and said "You were worried about your cat earlier this year.. because she had problems with her kidneys" (true) "but she was OK" (also true - I am not sure if I posted the whole story in the pet thread but I took my cat in for a check up and flu shot and the vet said she had a too fast heart beat and he thought maybe it could be a kidney problem.. so that really worried me. He wanted her in for a urine test (we all know about that stuff here, right!? ) and after some stress by me worrying about it (and thinking oh the irony) they reported that her urine tests were perfect and there was probably nothing to worry about. Well so the psychic got that right (how???).

Well, during the hour talk she didn't mention anything to do with MY health and I was thinking hmm this is pretty major and you haven't mentioned it - what's the deal. So after covering various subjects - with I reckon about a 90% hit rate - she said OK do you have any questions? So I asked her about my general health (again not giving away that I had a specific concern or worry etc). Well she then said that I had a problem with my joints(I said no, but when I think about it isn't bone disease kind of close??) so she then said "You have something that makes you tired" (yes) then "something to do with the blood" (well, yes really - kidneys filter blood!)... and then she said "I'm hearing... 'like the cat'" - and well I had to say yes... kidneys. So she said "OK you're not on dialysis?" I said "Well yes I am" (had to give in at that point lol) so she shuffled the tarot cards again and said something like "You will get that transplant much sooner than you think. I'm hearing that 'doctors used to have many problems with rejection but it's much better now'"(and I got the impression she didn't really know much about that stuff) then she continued "It will be sometime between october and march, and you will be in hospital for 10-12 days. There will be pain but it will be worth it as it will be a success so don't worry."

Now we can take it all with a grain of salt.. but they are very specific predictions. Now don't anyone worry at all. I am not sitting here planning on it happening that way and if it gets to next April and nothing's happened that I'll fall into a pit of depression. I promise that. I have to say though I am more open minded about this stuff. I mean I can't rationally explain how she could get so many things correct - not just about me, but my family etc. She even picked that a friend's daughter had been burnt by boiling water the previous weekend(all I had said is that my friend's daughter had an accident). Again - very specific - and right.

Of course she also predicted I would win $380,000-$400,000 in the lottery which frankly I think is laughable, so I don't really think it's all going to happen, but obviously if I do somehow get that transplant during that time, and I did spend 10 or so days in hospital - well you'd have to admit that something was going on there (so hey, I've written this here, so this will be a record of either how wrong the psychic is - or how right).

btw down here it's usually around a week in hospital,but if there WAS to be a rejection concern as was suggested(that's the way I interpreted what she said) well it could well be 10 or more days in. So who knows?!

So there you go. fraud or paranormal talent?! I don't know what to think.. I suppose time will tell. if it works out the way she said, and I win the $$$ well hell I'll totally be a believer!!!! 

[cariad]

I love the psychic story, Richard. I desperately want to know, though - did you explain kidney transplant risks to her, or did she come up with the rejection story on her own? So many people seem to be unaware that transplants require lifetime maintenance and that one can reject the organ. In hospital for 10-12 days for a standard transplant??!! Crikey! I hope not....

Well I don't want to keep a lovely lady desperate  so here goes

I have a vision that you will fast become my favorite person on IHD if you keep up this sort of talk....   

I just love hearing about people's experiences with psychics, especially the spookier ones, like yours. And I definitely am keeping my fingers crossed that you will become a believer by way of a transplant and a fortune. Now that I think about it, the psychic I saw never mentioned my health, and I had my scars from my fistula and shunt covered. This was 8 years ago, though, so it was hardly something I was thinking about regularly.

If you ever have some time on your hands (say, by some unlikely scenario in which you need to sit still for several hours ) and you want to read an utterly killjoy take on psychics, check out Randi.org and do a search for psychic. In case you don't know, James Randi is a professional magician who does mind readings for entertainment while clearly stating he has no psychic ability.

Be well, Richard, and don't let the suspense wear on you too much! 

[billybags]

Richard, I am really excited for you, it will happen my friend. On  another thread , if you win all that money could I send you a begging letter.

[kellyt]

I'm super duper excited for you Richard!  I can't wait to hear the news.  I said this was going to be your year!   What if I am right?  I may have a new career, too!     

[okarol]

I hope all your predictions come true ( and you share your lottery money with me!) 

[BASSMAN]

Wow! I pray this works out for you.  Of all the great people I have met on here I would say that you present the best attitude  considering the circumstances.  You give of yourself freely on the site and are a constant inspiration to all!!!

[RichardMEL]

  I mention potential money and suddenly all these new friends come out of the woodwork!! 

no way just kidding!!! Thanks guys.. I guess we'll see and the proof will be in the pudding one way or the other with what happens. Things definitely *seem* to have swung in a more positive direction in terms of something happening sooner rather than later - but then again that could just be my wish fufillment desires working overtime.... (now where are those bikini girls??!!!  )

[paris]

All of this sounds wonderful!  Paired donation, sometime between Oct and March, and you will win $400,000 !  All that adds up to a good ending and you coming to Las Vegas in 2011!!!!!    Seriously, Richard, you know I wish all of this to happen for you.  You deserve this, it is time.  I can't wait to hear what the neph has to say.   This is all very exciting.                   

[RichardMEL]

oh the psychic didn't say I'd win the $$$ anytime soon - she wasn't prepared to name when (typical!  ) so I don't think the two were related.

I will definitely update here when I hear more.

the only snag is that my brother had this kidney stone and he has cysts on his liver - this may rule him out of donating to anyone, so that may put the kybosh on any potential paired donation (even if that's what the neph wants to see us for of course!).

Anyway I will update here. Paris, you better keep AB on standby for me! 

[Sluff]

Richard if you could only have one or the other I hope you choose the kidney...   I hope you get all three... Kidney, Money and AB.