Blog: Poetry on DialysisDomingo 30 de mayo de 2010
These blogs are not an attempt at literature. I am writing them for myself. The intention is to deal with the confusion which I feel on account of the illness I have, which has forced me to look at life and at my person in a way I had never expected when healthy. Nor do these blogs have any consistency in terms of story line or intent. I merely write them as the ideas, in many cases totally disparate, come into my mind-
It scares me to think that, as it tends to happen, my personality and thoughts will become entirely permeated by the fixed idea of dialysis. That is unacceptable to me. I would choose to ignore that I am on dialysis and continue living as if I werenīt ill. It isnīt difficult for me to do that. Fortunately, the only time I feel sick is immediatly after a dialysis session. The next day I am again full of energy and I even wonder if I am actually ill, since I feel fine. Even the formerly dreadful experience of going to the hemodialysis clinic every other day and getting needled has ceased to be traumatizing and, with time,even become pleasant. The nurses and doctors here have been wonderful, never impersonal, and always efficient and very friendly. Excepting two male nurses, one gay and the other one a socialist, both extremely charming, the rest of the employees are all women, a lot of them quite beautiful. And that works for me, since when it comes to being given a needle it is preferable that the torturer be nice looking and female. It simply is more spiritually comforting- Inevitably one wonders if any of those nuerses would be capable of developing an attraction for a patient. Sadly, I think that would be very unlikely.In spite of their empathy, the feeling is always in the air that they are doingee a good deed taking care of infirm people- The doctors , however, who are three women with a lot of sex appeal, might be suspicious if one were to let his imagination run free. It took me a long time, for example, to accept that I was actually ill, and I suspoected that the doctors werenīt givin me the exact results of all the blood tests they had done on me. I began to fear that one of them had developed a powerful attraction toward me and intended to keep me on dialysis for her own purposes of control and domination.This doctor was a very curvaceous redhead with beautifully cruel green eyes. I began to fear her, always realizing that there was nothing I could do to free myself form her authority.
Publicado por vidal alcolea en 05:03
http://dialysisjoe.blogspot.com/2010/05/this-blogs-are-not-attempt-at.html
I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Author
