LIMERICKS

[mm2010]

HPS,
A+.  Well done.   

[Henry P Snicklesnorter]

.

[kristina]

Kristina loves the music of Bach
everything else is second-rate art...
But she’s quite content,
hoping, her kidneys might mend
on a strict diet,
"garnished" with Bach...

[kristina]

There once was a renal physician
who hated to make a decision...
In a fit of despair
he sprung into the air
and was last seen over county Kildare...

[Stoday]

A man who was trying to cannulate
His wife in her arm with a fistulate
Fancied sex in the chair
But his wife in despair
Told him to go off and masterbatistulate

[kristina]

I am just getting into the swing of this limerick-business:

Here lies a politician called Thatcher,
better known to the world as the “milk-snatcher”.
With an iron fist she crushed...her victims to dust:
the NHS, the Unions...and, everything we trust.

[kristina]

Sorry for this second political Limerick, but I just have to get this off my chest:

There once was an oil-man called Blair,
A politician without any care,
who honoured his tribe
and came out alive,
leaving thousands in total despair.

[knittingdan]

I suppose I should give this a shot
Although a great rhymer I'm not
At the dialysis place
Snow had covered my space
So I stole poor Rerun's spot!

A dialysis patient named Chuck
Went in to get his blood sucked
Said the tech, you cannot
For your arm's one big clot
I'm afraid you are $#!+ out of luck

All night the machine was beeping
For eight hours I was weeping
The tech for the night
Was nowhere in sight
I guess he was in the back, sleeping

[kristina]

My previous political Limericks (nonsense verse) were a little bit on the border
of a Limerick and a satirical poem. But what about this for a true nonsense verse (Limerick)?

There once was an honest politician
who looked at dishonesty with derision.
He worked day and night
to help kidney-patients’ fight
and back-handers were not in his vision.

[kristina]

Hospital food is so unappealing,
the smell takes the paint off the ceiling.
The greens are yellow, the custard is green
and the sandwiches border on the obscene.
So, to enjoy a good meal in hospitals today,
take a packed lunch of oats, water and hay.

[Stoday]

Kristina avoided dialysis
By giving phosphated foods a miss
She scoffed oily fish
Caviar by the dish
And now she's experiencing dialysis

[galvo]

3/10.

[kristina]

Kristina avoided dialysis
By giving phosphated foods a miss
She scoffed oily fish
Caviar by the dish
And now she's experiencing dialysis

For visitors to IHD who happen to read Stoday’s Limerick about Kristina:

It bears no resemblance to me as I have no fish in my diet,

(my vegetarian diet is described in other posts).

I am in ESRF but I am not on Dialysis yet.

I only write this because I don’t want visitors to IHD to be misled or confused.

Thank you, Kristina.

[okarol]

Thanks Krisitna! I guess he was trying to rhyme LOL

[Stoday]

It's only because Kristina has three syllables which met the dactyl foot I was looking for.

I don't think anyone believes these limericks; they're just little poems with poetic licence.

[Iwannabean]

I went to my dyalysis center
After a week long bender
The nurse gave me flack
I laid on my back
now im a little bit slender

[Riki]

The nurse fancied herself a singer,
But a tune she could never bring 'er.
If she even began to hum,
One patient would pelt her with gum,
And another would give her the fing'r.

The thing about kidney disease,
Is transplant people aren't easy to please.
You jump through the hoops,
Run around in their loops,
And they still cut you off at the knees.

Blood is cleaned at the dialysis unit,
Cuz my kidneys are no longer doin' it.
To keep boredom at bay
I sleep time away,
Unless a doc comes round to ruin it.

My nurses, they are a bit bitter,
And one thinks I need a sitter,
For when they're not lookin',
Their pictures get tookin',
And I post them all on twitter.

[Bajanne]

Great, Riki! 

[Riki]

it's kinda funny what you can come up with when you're bored in the middle of the night.. *LOL*