LIMERICKS

[Henry P Snicklesnorter]

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[peleroja]

Thanks for the belly laugh, Henry!

[okarol]

"The thing about kidney disease,"
said the doctor with many degrees,
"is despite our very best
and we've checked every test,
You no longer get mac and cheese!"

 

[Henry P Snicklesnorter]

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[YLGuy]

There once was a horrible tech
who made my fistula a wreck
I gave it a lick
and got it first stick!
Whew, better than that thing in my neck!

[kitkatz]

I started dialysis as a wreck
I really felt and looked like heck.
After a few needles in my arm
I would look at it in alarm
But it sure was better than the thing in the neck.

[Dragonette]

There was once a Dragonette
Who hadn't got a kidney yet.
She dialyzed for 2 2/4years.
2 years and 2 months of that in tears.
Then she found a new center
8 months of great care they lent her.
Then one day she got a kidney.
That Dragonette is me!

[kitkatz]

The catheter int he chest was a pain
So off to surgery for a fistula was plain
When later i awoke
The first words I spoke
"I sure do not want to that again!"

[natnnnat]

There once was a man with a fistula
Who feared he would never be kissedula
He said “this thing’s too whack
To get gals in the sack,
And I’m even too sick to get pissedula!”

[okarol]

What has happened to Henry?

[dawson]

Mine is a little on the low-key boring side, but related to kidney disease at least.  I must admit I laughed out loud (really loud!) on Henry's shocking position physician!   

Again and again I awoke with a UTI
The doctor just couldn’t figure out why
He tested and read
FSGS he said
Now strapped to the juice changer I lie!

[kamar55]

Hi...These aren't amusing/funny like the ones above, but here's my take:


My first time at dialysis
I was almost scared with paralysis
But after 5 years
There are no more tears
And no treatment I'd want to miss.

or

It would be kinder
Not to take our binder
But too much phosphorus
Is not good for us
So we need a daily reminder.

or

We must limit our fluid
We just have to do it
Even when it's hot
Don't drink a lot
Get an ice cube and chew it.

[Marina]

Tshirt  idea:

I  know  I  am.......

     are you?

organdonor.gov

[natnnnat]

A charming senora from Spain
Found she could lessen her pain
If she spun on one leg
Flipped, then stood on her head
To finish off every drain.

[natnnnat]

Bored, after haemo, a chappie
Was holding off, and felt a bit ...cr*ppy
In a quick playful burst
He squirted the nurse
Who chuckled to see him so happy

[Des]

Three times a week
its treatment I seek
for my kidneys,brain and heart
are  completely off the medical chart
so now I am no longer a sickly freak.

[kitkatz]

Off to dialysis I go
Where the hours go slow.
When I ask to be let off
The techs just scoff
I feel like I am going to blow.

[kamar55]

I'm such a wreck
I need my tech
  The bp cuff
  Is way too tough
Cause she wrapped it round my neck. 

[Bruno]

This is not original, but I like it.

There was a young man from Moldavia
Who no longer believed in the Saviour
So he erected instead
With himself at the head
The church of decorous behaviour

[Stoday]

My favourite limeric:

As Titian was mixing rose madder
His model reclined on a ladder
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition
So he nipped up the ladder and 'ad 'er

[fiOS-Dave]

That poetry really is fine
 
and I wish that it could've been mine
 
maybe next time I'll try
 
but I don't know why
 
just to get off the end of my spine!
 

[mm2010]

Haven't tried to do this since I was in school, 30 years ago,,,,
Its kinda fun, once you start, its hard to stop.  And everything for rest of the day sounds like limericks.....

Here are a few...

In this chair we do sit for our session,
The machine hums away, our obsession,
Soon the poison it clears,
And the tech lifts our spears,
We go on, and delay the progression.

Its his kidneys they say that are broke,
And the blood they should clean they just won't,
So he drains out the poison,
With these needles and hoses,
Now believe me, this isn't a joke.

My new tech at the center is sharp,
And my keister I might as well park,
Your not going no where,
So sit still in the chair,
For my bite is much worse than my bark.

Its this fluid that builds up in my body,
That makes me look puffy and gaudy,
Till I get to the center,
Drain a couple of litres,
Now I look just like a hottie.

[natnnnat]

 
and I got a good laugh out of your profile pic subtitle too. 

[Bruno]

I'm off to dialysis wearing a mauve thong
And hoping the session won't be too long
If it is
There'll be no tizz
Because I know a wedgie can't break my prong

[Henry P Snicklesnorter]

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