Outward appearance can be deceiving

Outward appearance can be deceiving

May 10, 2010

If you have ever seen someone parked in a
handicapped parking space who looked like they
had absolutely no business being there, you are not
alone. Abuse of handicap placards and license
plates seems to be almost commonplace. However, if
confronting (harassing) the person who has parked
in the space has ever crossed your mind, I urge you
to please read on.

Does the word disabled make you think of a person
in a wheelchair? Someone using a cane? An
amputee?

Unfortunately, disabilities or disabling conditions
are not always limited to manifestations that are
easily visible.

Darrell, a 26-year old former horse trainer is living
with progressive stiffening of the spine. This,
combined with a genetic abnormality, is causing his
spine to fuse and become solid and his body to
attack its own soft-tissues and internal organs.

Carol lives with the effects of fibromyalgia. She deals
with constant sleep deprivation from continuous,
chronic pain and depression.

Alan is a former emergency medical technician who
battles a relapsing form of multiple sclerosis as well
as a degenerative spinal condition. He experiences
varying degrees of paralysis in different areas as
well as balance issues and pain. The unpredictable
effects of the multiple sclerosis "can be something
different every day."

Barbara lives with traumatic brain injury from the
cumulative damage of several severe falls. She
struggles with remembering recent events, slower
mental processing speed, changes in her brain
chemistry and migraine headaches.

Linda was diagnosed with failed back syndrome and
has lived with chronic, unresolved pain since 1996.
Many years of back problems, a car accident and
multiple failed treatments have taken a heavy toll on
her both physically and mentally. She often comes
home in tears after just a trip to the grocery store

due to the severe, chronic pain that never goes
away.

These are just a few real people with a handful of
invisible, disabling conditions that look "perfectly
normal." There are also people who are undergoing
chemotherapy, dialysis (kidney failure treatments) or
who deal with many other conditions that can make
even simple tasks exhausting or excruciating.

The following are actual quotes from the people in
this article:

"People ... don't have to make judgments about
people like me."

"If I have my placard, leave me alone."

"People aren't aware and don't want to be."

"... Learn as much as you can about what a person's
life is like."

"Everyone has imperfections - some are more
obvious than others."

"Try to understand and be more tolerant. It would be
nice if (people) would not pass judgment."

"I wish someone would do a public service
announcement on invisible disabilities."

"Awareness, tolerance, education."
Advertisement

A relatively normal-looking outward appearance can
do a great job of concealing debilitating or painful
medical realities. Imagine how it would feel having
to deal with a chronic condition every day of your
life in addition to enduring snide comments,
disdainful looks or worse because you didn't look
handicapped or handicapped enough to a casual
observer who knows nothing about you or your life?
It only takes a moment to be kind, and it is as easy
as being silent and nonjudgmental.

Deborah Hayes lives in Fort Collins.

http://www.coloradoan.com/article/20100510/OPINION04/5100314/1014/OPINION/Outward+appearance+can+be+deceiving