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Author Topic: feel helpless  (Read 2706 times)
karen547
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« on: May 01, 2010, 11:35:12 PM »
My mom is not there anymore mentally she is verbally and emotionally abusive to dad and I and we are losing our minds
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Dianejt
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« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2010, 07:08:07 AM »
That happend to my Motherin-law. There are medicines that will help her mood. Ask her doctors. Good luck.
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caregiver to husband Frank

bladder cancer 1994
renal failure April 2009 due to blocked right ureter. Left kidney 20% function
November 18 2009 surgery to remove right ureter.
April 3, 2010 removal bladder, prostrate, left kidney.
June 11, 2010 started Hemo @ hospital
July 2, 2010 Embolized right Kidney due to hemoraging of tumor
September 11, 2010 RIP my love
monrein
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Might as well smile
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2010, 07:25:09 AM »
Karen, is there anyone on your Mom's medical team that you could talk to about how things are at home?  I'm so sorry that you and your Dad are having to cope with this and your poor Mom is going through so much also.   :cuddle;
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
jbeany
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Cattitude
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2010, 07:43:49 AM »
No useful thoughts here.  Just this -  :grouphug;
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.
karen547
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« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2010, 11:21:37 AM »
Well my mom got cutoff medicaid so they are going to get other insurance. I called her doctor and he wants her to come into the hospital but she won't go and on top of everything else she had a car accident today and I'm at the hospital by myself because I had a panic attack this morning
 
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Dianejt
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« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2010, 12:38:23 PM »
Is your Mom still driving? What does your Dad have to say? Can the doctor call her & maybe try to talk her into coming in?
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caregiver to husband Frank

bladder cancer 1994
renal failure April 2009 due to blocked right ureter. Left kidney 20% function
November 18 2009 surgery to remove right ureter.
April 3, 2010 removal bladder, prostrate, left kidney.
June 11, 2010 started Hemo @ hospital
July 2, 2010 Embolized right Kidney due to hemoraging of tumor
September 11, 2010 RIP my love
Rerun
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Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2010, 12:47:06 PM »
Take the keys away.  I'm so sorry you are having to face this.  Call her doctor again and ask for help.

     :grouphug;
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looneytunes
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Wishin' I was Fishin'
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2010, 06:35:54 PM »
Aw Karen...what a tough time for you and your dad.  I agree with taking away the car keys...and maybe this will give you an opportunity to talk with your mom about her need to cooperate with you and your dad as well as the doctors.   :grouphug;
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"The key to being patient is having something to do in the meantime" AU
Jean
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« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2010, 07:35:21 PM »
So sorry you are going thru this . How tough on you and your Dad this must be. I do agree tho, hide the car keys, you dont want her having a bad accident.
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
Sunny
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Sunny
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2010, 10:51:54 PM »
I am so sorry for what you and your family are dealing with right now.
It may be that your Mom will need some medication to level out her moods. If she is still on chemo those drugs and others she may be taking can cause her to become very erratic in behavior. Your anxiety sounds terrible if it caused you to end up in the emrgency room, but you did the right thing in trying to take care of yourself. I hope things will ease up on you soon. Stay focused on things you do have control over, like school work and other things you enjoy.Hopefully your Mom will come to her senses and accept help you and your Dad are trying to provide.
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Sunny, 49 year old female
 pre-dialysis with GoodPastures
karen547
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« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2010, 03:40:50 AM »
Mom is back on Medicaid. She is going to see our doctor monday to get on a new anti depressant. I am in school again, so at least I can escape for a little while.
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Rerun
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Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2010, 03:41:53 AM »
Good!

                                 :cuddle;
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Dianejt
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« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2010, 07:01:48 AM »
So glad to hear this. Enjoy your time by yourself & hopefully the docs can get your Mom settled down.
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caregiver to husband Frank

bladder cancer 1994
renal failure April 2009 due to blocked right ureter. Left kidney 20% function
November 18 2009 surgery to remove right ureter.
April 3, 2010 removal bladder, prostrate, left kidney.
June 11, 2010 started Hemo @ hospital
July 2, 2010 Embolized right Kidney due to hemoraging of tumor
September 11, 2010 RIP my love
billybags
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« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2010, 08:35:35 AM »
karen547, what a terrible time you and your dad are going through, I really feel for you. Your mum must be having a bad time as well. it must be so frustrating for all of you. I hope your mum gets the right treatment so she can come back to you as her old self, probably to your mum she thinks every thing is normal, that is why she wants to drive. Try to keep positive, I know that is hard for you, is there any one in the family that can help out at this time?
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