My thoughts and prayers are with both of you, and the children. My husband's son adopted a little boy who went to their church with his foster family. He is adorable and oh, so sweet. But, please be cautious. Mike and I were hoping to adopt a baby from a young girl we knew. She went into labor a several weeks premature (on MY birthday!) the doctors were able to stop the labor but she realized how much she and the baby's father cared about the baby when she almost lost it and they kept her! I was so heartbroken, and more so after I heard she was being neglected before she was a year old. It took me years to get over that.
What a painful situation, I am so sorry. Even if my friend decides to let us adopt, there's always that chance as she's farther along, or after the delivery that she will change her mind. She's the type of person who really doesn't want children, doesn't enjoy interacting with them, etc. but there's still a risk.