Donor Rejected.....

[tyefly]

WEll     Here I am with out a live donor....   All testing was done.....  we were going to set up the date this week.... I talked to my donor and he said that he had quit smoking so that he could prepare for the surgery......( I know he should not smoke and should of quit along time ago..)  He said that he told the transplant coordinator that he quit smoking on presidents day and that he also quit smoking pot on that day too..........   that is what he told me that he told her......  well  yesterday  the transplant coordinator called and said that the transplant team has decided that this donor would not be able to donate...  because of the smoking pot....  and the fact that it probably has damaged the kidney..... yet all the test  ( and there were months of testing and everyone said that the kidneys were perfect..... every thing was good to go for transplant..) showed good results.....  we have been working on all of this since last Oct  09.....   ready to make the date   and   then this.... why didn't he keep his mouth shut......   why would he tell people that he smokes pot......  why does he smoke pot.....   I am really upset now..... It was nice that he offered and went thru all the test  but why did he do it..... Is he stupid..... oh yea..... thats right   he is my ex hubby  and NOW I remember why I divorced him.......   thx again Buddy.......    So  I am looking again ......   Daughter  who is 23 still offers .....not going to use her...she hasn't even had kids yet......   Well   thats the story   and   frankly   its doesn't surprise me......   I think it was too good to be true...    down the drain because of dope smoking......   what a guy....!!!!!

[okarol]

I am so sorry - that's such a disappointing outcome after all the time and effort. I hope you can find another donor soon. 

[paris]

Tyefly         I am sorry this didn't work out.  I got so hopeful each time someone was being tested.  My son is a 5/6 antigen match and Johns Hopkins was ready to schedule everything. Then my son's GP did  a routine blood work and determined he was pre-diabetic.  Low BMI, atheltic, but a blood sugar of 100 and they decided he couldn't donate.    It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach.  You are strong, you are taking charge of your life and you will figure this out too.  There are just so many bumps in the road.   I hate this didn't work out for you.  There has to be a better (non pot smoker) kidney out there for you.   Take a little time to be upset and grieve, then move forward.           

[kellyt]

Chin up.  That wasn't the kidney for you.  There are probably plenty of reasons why you shouldn't get that kidney and you will be appreciative once you receive your perfect kidney.  Hang in there my Friend.    Denying donors is difficult.   Just know that they don't deny to be mean.  I went through all this myself.   

[monrein]

Always disappointing Tyefly.  Very disappointing.  However, I'm keeping everything crossed that a suitable donor will come along as soon as possible.   

[YLGuy]

It does not make any sense to me.  They tested his kidney function and said he was good to go.  Then they found out he used to smoke pot and they think his kidneys may have been damaged???  Sounds like reefer madness.

[kellyt]

It does sound strange.   My husband was a great match for me, they kept saying how unbelievably healthy he was, blah, blah, blah.  Then they said he had too much calcium in his urine and that someday, maybe, possibly, he MIGHT have kidney stones and the "committee" bumped him.  The pre/post nephrologist even said that if he was a big water drinker, which he is, that it was more than likely never going to happen.  He had two tiny, tiny, tiny "things" on his CAT scan of kidneys (one in each kidney).  TINY.   We asked if they could just check him again in six months or even one year (not knowing if anyone was going to step up and test at that point) to see if they have gotten larger or if they were gone and they said NO.  We were both mad about that.  The "committee" is a bunch of bullies.

Hang in there.  You'll get that perfect kidney!   

[Wenchie58]

Sorry for your disappointment Kathy.  Your day will come, I have no doubt about it.

I remember when I was doing the testing for transplant and they asked if I had ever used illegal drugs, I was honest and said I had smoked pot in the 70's.  I thought their heads were going to spin around.  Hey....it was thirty years ago...don't hold onto it...the buzz is gone now anyway!

Can't be worse than all that tequila I slammed in the 80's could it?     

[Rerun]

Nice how they make him go through all the testing and get their money and then say "no".  I'd be mad too. 

Sorry.   

[galvo]

I'm sorry to hear your story.

[RichardMEL]

yeah that sucks - I'm sorry.. Although as I was reading the post and saw the word "pot" I thought "uh oh" - that's always a red flag for some reason. I guess studies have found that to be an issue. The other thing is that the transplant team have the donors health in the highest regard as well as the recipients.. and they probably thought this was potentially adverse for them also(to remove a kidney). This is exactly what happened to my sister (she didn't smoke anything, with her it was a blood pressure thing).

 

[YLGuy]

I don't think it does have an effect:
From Jack Herer:
"Cannabis use has no toxic side effects to the liver and kidneys; nor is there any danger of the occasional sudden death syndromes associated with the legal pharmaceutical glaucoma drugs/drops."

From Drug Science:
"Studies have shown the long-term use of cannabis to be safe. In contrast to many other medicinal drugs, the long-term use of cannabis does not harm stomach, liver, kidneys and heart."

From Totse:
"Marijuana is two to three times as effective as any currently legal medicines for reducing ocular pressure, without toxic side effects destroying liver and kidneys, toxic effects associated with present legal glaucoma drugs."

[Chris]

Sorry to hear Tyefly, but wasn't president's day last week? If he now just mentioned it to them, maybe it was his way of trying to get out of it? I don't know, but as you said, you know why he is your ex. Hopefully you find another donor Tyefly.

[Jean]

So sorry to hear that Kathy. What a numbskull he is. No wonder you dumped him. Fear not, a better, and healthier kidney will come your way. Got everything crossed for you.

[tyefly]

thank you all  for the great replies...... I knew all of you would understand... how a person can get there hopes up......   and its such a high hope....   Dialysis is not something that I really want to do for the rest of my life... and  I guess I really didn't think that I would.....  but many do...... and many have.....  and I will too if I have to.... I know I will probably get a transplant one day as I am pretty healthy for having CKD....  and I have a strong will to live....  but I want to live free      free to go and do all the things that I planned on.....  Can I still do those things.......  Sometimes I think I cannot...  and other times I think I can do it all.....    I know that I will find somewhere in the middle  and go and do as much as I want and need.....  I am a survivor........   
         I will survive this too..... 

[Sunny]

Tyefly,
Sorry about  your donor being rejected. Too bad he couldn't lie a little about the pot smoking. Just make sure you're active on the cadaver transplant list and keep hoping another living donor comes forward. I'm hoping things will work out for you in the long run.

[staceyand joe92]

I had six living donors denied.....it was heartbreaking EVERY time. It is never easy to get your hopes up only to have it not work out at the last moment. I always thought there must be a reason that I'm having to wait for a donor.....the perfect kidney hadn't found me yet. I waited on the "list" and I received a 6/6 match in December. Keep the faith....your perfect kidney is out there too.

[tyefly]

 thx  guys.....   I am sure I will get that perfect for me kidney .....   after all I am being good........