Things I would rather do than dialysis...

[kitkatz]

I would rather tackle ten porcupines
 than tackle those needles I am assigned



Keep the rhymes going.

[twirl]

I would rather have sex
than get stuck by the techs     

[dwcrawford]

While Twirl continues to have sex with the techs,
I'd just as soon watch movies all day at the big multiplex.

[JennyGiggle]

spend those 4 hrs in a boring college classroom than in  at the dialysis unit! And to think last year id do anything to get out of those classes!

[Stoday]

So Twirl is a girl
With the best ass in the class
Who likes sex with the techs
In her chair when she's bare.

Erm — a bit blue but it has to rhyme see? 

[twirl]

  :shy;twirl is the girl with the biggest ass
                        in the class

Dan is the man with the most asses
                        in the classes

thanks for writing a poem about me -- the last one written about me was by a student  ---- can't repeat it but he sure knew how to rhyme words with  --- "luck"

things I would rather do than dialysis --

I'd rather go to a church service and sleep --      ( our preacher is long winded )
than listen to all the machines beep

[kitkatz]

I would rather go to the mall
than go the that dialysis hall!

[iketchum]

I feel like I have gone to hell,
all I want is to feel well.

[kitkatz]

I would really rather see
myself at home watching my own TV
Than at the dialysis center where I be.

[Bub]

Go to the dentist.
Have diarrhea.
Marry Roseanne.
Kiss a pig  --- wait, sorry, I am being repetative.

[fc2821]

Go to the dentist.
Have diarrhea.
Marry Roseanne.
Kiss a pig  --- wait, sorry, I am being repetative.

 

things I would rather do than dialysis:

       You name it......I'd probably do it! 

[dwcrawford]

Sleep naked on a bed of razor blades.

[SkyDancer]

 The techs are nice they're lovely lasses,
but I'd like to stick those needles up their Asses!
( thanks mom)

[SkyDancer]

Sorry, thought of a few more

 The seating there ain't too groovy,
I'm with you let's go to a movie.

The chairs in the lobby sure are hard,
I'd rather be slopping pigs in the barnyard. ( not me, no way! )

 Oh, those machines sure do beep,
I'd rather be at home counting sheep.

One of the techs sure can't carry a tune,
I'd rather be home looking at the   ahem...moon?

[fc2821]

     SkyDancer      Thanks

[lunadatura]

Ride my bike 100 miles 

[okarol]

I'd rather be wandering out in the cold,
Than listen to a nutritionist scold.

[Simon Dog]

Stick a needle in my eye; jab a dagger in my thigh; eat a horse manure pie.

[liverpool101]

"Stick a needle in my eye;"

I DO get a needle stuck in both eyes (diabetic retinopothy)
as well as being on Hemo.
In fact I even wrote a Blues song about my experiences
on dialysis. I call it the Dialysis Blues.

[jmintuck]

 I would rather have a very bland meal of porridge with no sugar or sweetener and just water w/o tea or coffee and non-buttered toast than the additional noise of dialysis for 3 and 1/2 hours. Not even a smudge of peanut butter, jam or even Marmite. I happen to LOVE Marmite, even. I mean any meal that IS extremely bland would be preferable to all this noise.

OTOH, I don't have to sit for 4 or so hours over 3 times a week, that is still bad, enough, but preferable over the alternative hours. MY hours are 3 and 1/2 hours 3 times a week which IS better than the other one.

[Whamo]

I'd rather be surfing Rocky Point, Hawaii, or even my beloved San Onofre, than do dialysis.  I haven't even been in the ocean for years.  I actually don't mind dialysis these days since I do PD.  I do hate the first fill when the belly swells like I'm 9 months pregnant.   I do hate the time it takes.  I'd rather be at Disneyland.  I didn't write a book about Disneyland because I didn't enjoy it.  I love the place.  I love shopping on main street, dancing with Minnie Muse, Goofy, the Pirates, and singing along with the New Orleans jazz band.  I enjoy the restaurants, the food, like monte cristo sandwiches, pineapple treats, ice cream, chicken at the Plaza Inn, the rides, the parades, the fireworks, and the shows.  And I loved doing it after a few marijuana edibles.  I also enjoy tooling around the park on a scooter instead of walking for miles.

[Paul]

And I loved doing it after a few marijuana edibles.

They sell those at Disneyland?

PS don't tell your transplant people about this, they frown on illegal drugs, even in states where they are sort of legal.

[Simon Dog]

I'm not so sure about this one, but "attend a timeshare sales presentation".

[kristina]

Listen to some of Igor Stravinsky's and Arnold Schoenberg's painful "toothache-symphonies" ? 
... But ... on second thoughts ... perhaps not ... 

[Michael Murphy]

Take the Carolina Reaper challenge.  (Check it out on YouTube)