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Author Topic: Things I would rather do than dialysis...  (Read 8408 times)
kitkatz
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« on: February 01, 2010, 06:47:59 PM »

I would rather tackle ten porcupines
 than tackle those needles I am assigned



Keep the rhymes going.
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
twirl
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« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2010, 05:33:02 AM »

I would rather have sex
than get stuck by the techs     
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dwcrawford
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Getting the heck out of town.

« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2010, 09:57:10 AM »

While Twirl continues to have sex with the techs,
I'd just as soon watch movies all day at the big multiplex.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2010, 11:58:55 AM by dwcrawford » Logged

Come to think of it, nothing is funny anymore.

Nothing that I post here is intended for fact but rather for exploration into my personal thought processes.  Any slight, use of words with multiple connotations or other percieved insults are totally unintended.  I reserve my insults for private.
JennyGiggle
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« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2010, 11:16:09 AM »

spend those 4 hrs in a boring college classroom than in  at the dialysis unit! And to think last year id do anything to get out of those classes!
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Stoday
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« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2010, 01:41:14 PM »

So Twirl is a girl
With the best ass in the class
Who likes sex with the techs
In her chair when she's bare.

Erm a bit blue but it has to rhyme see?  :yahoo;
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Diagnosed stage 3 CKD May 2003
AV fistula placed June 2009
Started hemo July 2010
Heart Attacks June 2005; October 2010; July 2011
twirl
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« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2010, 11:33:21 AM »

 :shy; :shy;twirl is the girl with the biggest ass
                        in the class

Dan is the man with the most asses
                        in the classes

thanks for writing a poem about me -- the last one written about me was by a student  ---- can't repeat it but he sure knew how to rhyme words with  --- "luck"

things I would rather do than dialysis --

I'd rather go to a church service and sleep --      ( our preacher is long winded )
than listen to all the machines beep
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kitkatz
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« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2010, 06:50:51 PM »

I would rather go to the mall
than go the that dialysis hall!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
iketchum
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« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2010, 07:22:07 PM »

I feel like I have gone to hell,
all I want is to feel well.
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kitkatz
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« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2010, 07:29:33 PM »

I would really rather see
myself at home watching my own TV
Than at the dialysis center where I be.
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Bub
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« Reply #9 on: February 08, 2010, 11:02:29 AM »

Go to the dentist.
Have diarrhea.
Marry Roseanne.
Kiss a pig  --- wait, sorry, I am being repetative.
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fc2821
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Just another hamster on the dialysis W.O.F.

« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2010, 12:24:41 PM »

Go to the dentist.
Have diarrhea.
Marry Roseanne.
Kiss a pig  --- wait, sorry, I am being repetative.

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

things I would rather do than dialysis:

       You name it......I'd probably do it! 
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In center hemo dialysis since Feb 14, 2007. 

If I could type properly, I'd be dangerous!

You may be only one person in the universe but you may mean the the universe to someone else.
dwcrawford
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Getting the heck out of town.

« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2010, 02:10:41 PM »

Sleep naked on a bed of razor blades.
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Come to think of it, nothing is funny anymore.

Nothing that I post here is intended for fact but rather for exploration into my personal thought processes.  Any slight, use of words with multiple connotations or other percieved insults are totally unintended.  I reserve my insults for private.
SkyDancer
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« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2010, 05:08:52 PM »

 The techs are nice they're lovely lasses,
but I'd like to stick those needles up their Asses!
( thanks mom)
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SkyDancer
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« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2010, 05:19:03 PM »

Sorry, thought of a few more

 The seating there ain't too groovy,
I'm with you let's go to a movie. :bandance;

The chairs in the lobby sure are hard,
I'd rather be slopping pigs in the barnyard. :puke; ( not me, no way! )

 Oh, those machines sure do beep,
I'd rather be at home counting sheep.

One of the techs sure can't carry a tune,
I'd rather be home looking at the :sir ken;  ahem...moon?
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fc2821
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Just another hamster on the dialysis W.O.F.

« Reply #14 on: February 20, 2010, 11:42:14 AM »

     SkyDancer   :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;  Thanks
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In center hemo dialysis since Feb 14, 2007. 

If I could type properly, I'd be dangerous!

You may be only one person in the universe but you may mean the the universe to someone else.
lunadatura
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Fate happens, Destiny is what you do with it.

« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2010, 02:26:44 PM »

Ride my bike 100 miles  :bandance;
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Diagnosised FSGS via biopsy 11/2006
Started Dialysis 5/2009
hemo-dialysis except 9.09-6.10 = peritoneal then back to hemo
currently in center hemo 3x per week
Evaluation for transplant July 2010
Almost received transplant 8.13
repeated calls and admissions for transplant since then but no kidney yet
3.1.14 got ideal kidney and having exceptional recovery - creatine went from 8.5 to 1.1 in less than 2 weeks.
okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #16 on: October 29, 2010, 09:45:57 PM »


I'd rather be wandering out in the cold,
Than listen to a nutritionist scold.
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Simon Dog
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« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2013, 04:43:50 PM »

Stick a needle in my eye; jab a dagger in my thigh; eat a horse manure pie.
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liverpool101
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« Reply #18 on: September 20, 2016, 08:00:21 AM »

"Stick a needle in my eye;"

I DO get a needle stuck in both eyes (diabetic retinopothy)
as well as being on Hemo.
In fact I even wrote a Blues song about my experiences
on dialysis. I call it the Dialysis Blues.
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jmintuck
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« Reply #19 on: September 29, 2016, 09:54:10 PM »

 I would rather have a very bland meal of porridge with no sugar or sweetener and just water w/o tea or coffee and non-buttered toast than the additional noise of dialysis for 3 and 1/2 hours. Not even a smudge of peanut butter, jam or even Marmite. I happen to LOVE Marmite, even. I mean any meal that IS extremely bland would be preferable to all this noise.

OTOH, I don't have to sit for 4 or so hours over 3 times a week, that is still bad, enough, but preferable over the alternative hours. MY hours are 3 and 1/2 hours 3 times a week which IS better than the other one.
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Whamo
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« Reply #20 on: April 12, 2018, 11:56:27 AM »

I'd rather be surfing Rocky Point, Hawaii, or even my beloved San Onofre, than do dialysis.  I haven't even been in the ocean for years.  I actually don't mind dialysis these days since I do PD.  I do hate the first fill when the belly swells like I'm 9 months pregnant.   I do hate the time it takes.  I'd rather be at Disneyland.  I didn't write a book about Disneyland because I didn't enjoy it.  I love the place.  I love shopping on main street, dancing with Minnie Muse, Goofy, the Pirates, and singing along with the New Orleans jazz band.  I enjoy the restaurants, the food, like monte cristo sandwiches, pineapple treats, ice cream, chicken at the Plaza Inn, the rides, the parades, the fireworks, and the shows.  And I loved doing it after a few marijuana edibles.  I also enjoy tooling around the park on a scooter instead of walking for miles. :clap; :clap;
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Paul
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That's another fine TARDIS you got me into Stanley

« Reply #21 on: April 12, 2018, 01:30:06 PM »

And I loved doing it after a few marijuana edibles.

They sell those at Disneyland? ??????

PS don't tell your transplant people about this, they frown on illegal drugs, even in states where they are sort of legal.
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Whoever said "God does not make mistakes" has obviously never seen the complete bog up he made of my kidneys!
Simon Dog
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« Reply #22 on: April 12, 2018, 03:41:53 PM »

I'm not so sure about this one, but "attend a timeshare sales presentation".
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kristina
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« Reply #23 on: May 10, 2018, 06:27:38 AM »

Listen to some of Igor Stravinsky's and Arnold Schoenberg's painful "toothache-symphonies" ?  ::)
... But ... on second thoughts ... perhaps not ...  ;D
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Bach was no pioneer; his style was not influenced by any past or contemporary century.
  He was completion and fulfillment in itself, like a meteor which follows its own path.
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                                          ...  Oportet Vivere ...
Michael Murphy
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« Reply #24 on: May 10, 2018, 06:43:49 AM »

Take the Carolina Reaper challenge.  (Check it out on YouTube)
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