Dear Diary (A look at the first few sessons of dialysis)

[Rerun]

September 5, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day on dialysis.  Everyone was so nice to me.  They used my Hickman because my fistula is not “mature” yet.  I don’t know what that means.  I’m not sure what the difference is between the Hickman and the fistula.  Guess I’ll find out.  I like it there.

September 7, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my second day on dialysis.  I didn’t see any of the same nice people today.  I had to tell the new people everything I told the people on Monday.  I didn’t feel that good afterwards.  I didn’t get to watch TV today because it was broken.  I still like it there.

September 9, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my third day on dialysis.  I didn’t see any of the same nice people I saw the first day or any of the same people I saw the second day.  I had to tell the new stupid ass people everything I told the people on Monday and Wednesday.  This is getting old!  I had to sit by some old lady that shit all over the place.  God it stunk!  What the hell kind of place is this!  The damn TV is still broken and the light above me is out.  It must be 40 degrees in there.  But… they are trying to save my life… I still like it there.  Yippee, I get 2 ½ days off. 

September 12, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my fourth day on dialysis.  I guess they just get new people all the time because I never get the same nurse or tech.  I got yelled at for gaining too much fluid.  They had to pull off 6 pounds and my legs were having seizers but the nurse said I deserved it.  The machine has bells and horns that keep going off.  I wish someone would tell me what is going on.  I got a different chair today.  It didn’t have a TV at all.  They fixed the TV in my old chair.  I watch the guy watch it for 3 hours.  I’m not sure I like this anymore.

September 14, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my fifth day on dialysis. The Social Worker sat with me today.  She asked me if I liked dialysis.  When I said “not really,” she told me that I was “depressed” and suggested that I read 10 or 11 self help books by Friday.   She wanted to know about my sex life.  When I told her I wasn’t married, she suggested I read “Sex and Dialysis”….. by Friday.  She asked me how my relationship was with my parents.  I told her they were both gone.  She suggested I read “Mommy Dearest” by Friday.  Wheeew, I’d better get busy.  They had to call 911 for the lady next to me today.  I guess she died.  The nurses said she drank too much fluid and she deserved it.  I don’t think I like this place.  They are going to use my fistula next session.  I’ll be glad to get rid of this Hickman.

September 15, 2005

Dear Diary,

Holy CRAP!  They came at me with these HUGE needles.  They said they were going to poke them in my arm.  NO WAY!  This girl was out of there!  They chased me down the hall and caught me at the elevator.  They still had the needles.  I grabbed one and tried to stab this one bitch in her arm to see how she would like it.  I missed and she gave me a shot.  I woke up in the dialysis chair all hooked up with a ton of tape on my arm.  I felt dizzy and sick.  They said I deserved it.  I HATE DIALYSIS…………

Feel free to write to this Diary.......

[cabarle]

September 5, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day on dialysis.  Everyone was so nice to me.  They used my Hickman because my fistula is not “mature” yet.  I don’t know what that means.  I’m not sure what the difference is between the Hickman and the fistula.  Guess I’ll find out.  I like it there.

September 7, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my second day on dialysis.  I didn’t see any of the same nice people today.  I had to tell the new people everything I told the people on Monday.  I didn’t feel that good afterwards.  I didn’t get to watch TV today because it was broken.  I still like it there.

September 9, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my third day on dialysis.  I didn’t see any of the same nice people I saw the first day or any of the same people I saw the second day.  I had to tell the new stupid ass people everything I told the people on Monday and Wednesday.  This is getting old!  I had to sit by some old lady that shit all over the place.  God it stunk!  What the hell kind of place is this!  The damn TV is still broken and the light above me is out.  It must be 40 degrees in there.  But… they are trying to save my life… I still like it there.  Yippee, I get 2 ½ days off. 

September 12, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my fourth day on dialysis.  I guess they just get new people all the time because I never get the same nurse or tech.  I got yelled at for gaining too much fluid.  They had to pull off 6 pounds and my legs were having seizers but the nurse said I deserved it.  The machine has bells and horns that keep going off.  I wish someone would tell me what is going on.  I got a different chair today.  It didn’t have a TV at all.  They fixed the TV in my old chair.  I watch the guy watch it for 3 hours.  I’m not sure I like this anymore.

September 14, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was my fifth day on dialysis. The Social Worker sat with me today.  She asked me if I liked dialysis.  When I said “not really,” she told me that I was “depressed” and suggested that I read 10 or 11 self help books by Friday.   She wanted to know about my sex life.  When I told her I wasn’t married, she suggested I read “Sex and Dialysis”….. by Friday.  She asked me how my relationship was with my parents.  I told her they were both gone.  She suggested I read “Mommy Dearest” by Friday.  Wheeew, I’d better get busy.  They had to call 911 for the lady next to me today.  I guess she died.  The nurses said she drank too much fluid and she deserved it.  I don’t think I like this place.  They are going to use my fistula next session.  I’ll be glad to get rid of this Hickman.

September 15, 2005

Dear Diary,

Holy CRAP!  They came at me with these HUGE needles.  They said they were going to poke them in my arm.  NO WAY!  This girl was out of there!  They chased me down the hall and caught me at the elevator.  They still had the needles.  I grabbed one and tried to stab this one bitch in her arm to see how she would like it.  I missed and she gave me a shot.  I woke up in the dialysis chair all hooked up with a ton of tape on my arm.  I felt dizzy and sick.  They said I deserved it.  I HATE DIALYSIS…………

Feel free to write to this Diary.......

October 31, 2005

After several weeks of dialysis, I've come to the conclusion that everbody around me "cheats" on their diets, complains of cramping, and nurses & doctors like to inject sunshine up my ass. People I know have casually asked me "How's my health?", instead of the customary "How are you?" Lucky for me, I am still getting my post dialysis snack consisteing of a chopped tuna sandwhich or chicken salad sanwhich (on a hamurger roll), a little pack of applesauce, and a cup of cranberry juice. The top of the bag has my name on it along with the label "sodium free". The contents resemble something edible, but I just find the "consumables" life sustaining.

[Epoman]

This was a great idea for a post. Good job Rerun.

[LifeOnHold]

You clearly are depressed!  I recommend you read "I Am So Thankful To Be Alive, Please Feel Free To Screw With My Treatment, Call Me Names And Imply That I Deserve Every Cramp I Get" before Friday!     

[twirl]

I read your diary, did you really run down the halls?   Did you write anymore on your diary? I loved it. Is there a book in the works?
Please write more..... It was great..... and so honest..... it's like I wrote it......

[Wattle]

 

This diary needs a rerun of its own! 

[mcmkids]

I think you have truly captured how many people feel! I can appreciate it form two fronts, as the wife of someone on dialysis and as a nurse. We in healthcare are very quick to "diagnose" depression! In my professional, albiet humble, opinion....you are adjusting well! 

[dwcrawford]

Fabulously funny.  I loled out loud... as Monk would say.  Write some more...

[twirl]

I pm her all the time to write more ---
it is great reading -
I am her biggest fan -
and she knows it -
to heck with working at Sears -- write for Reader's Digest -
( I know Sears was awhile back )
I asked for this thread to be placed where new members would read it -

yes, I am yelling to ReRun --

THANKS FOR MOVING THIS THREAD  -- I AM PM'ING MANDAME AND TINAH TO READ IT

[dwcrawford]

DON'T YELL AT ME WOMAN!

Reader's Digest would be a good start Rerun.  Then try the Davita Magazine.  It is so funny that they wouldn't be offended at all.  What over Kindey publications are there?

[Rerun]

                   

[Rerun]

OK here is another Diary entry..... feel free to post more entries.

Dear Diary,

I finally was able to sleep on dialysis.  I have been so tired and was so glad that I was finally relaxed enough to doze off.  Then I hear my name... and I hear it again.... then something bumped my chair.  I awoke to this lady calling my name.  It was a "dietition"?  She shoved a piece of paper in my hand and said it was my "Report Card" and it had Frowny Faces all over it.  She said all my labs were bad.  Then she asked if I was taking "binders" with every meal and I asked her "what is a binder".  Then she hands me a bunch of reading material and leaves.  Man.... I've got enough reading material for a year.  I still don't know what a binder is.  Maybe it is a band to go around my stomach?  I hate that bitch for waking me up . 

[twirl]

 

[MIbarra]

lol  I hated those frowny face report cards! What the heck are we, 5 years old?

[Hanify]

That's hilarious rerun  - I thought it was just me that didn't know what was happening most of the time.  I took binders for a whole year and didn't realise I was supposed to take them with food!  When they said 'take with food' I thought it was just like antibiotics where you should take them with food so they don't upset your stomach.  As it happens I have a really tough stomach and don't usually bother, so there I was taking my binders when I went to bed.  My neph then found out and nearly had a fit.  I mean REALLY!  Someone should have told me ha ha ha.  Luckily my levels were only just getting a bit high when I realised, so I've fixed that now.

[greco02]

  EXCELLANT, WELL DONE, KEEP IT UP, WE LOVE THE DIARY....








EDITED:Fixed smiley tag error-kitkatz,Moderator

[Rerun]

You guys really should NOT encourage me.....   

Dear Diary,

Today a nice man in a white coat came by and asked me how I was doing and I said "fine"..... and he walked away.  I think it was my kidney doctor, but I have only seen him once a long time ago when I was really sick.  Wow, that was nice of him to come see me.  I wish I remembered his name.  I should send him cookies or something.  I'm sure he is very busy but he took time out of his day to stop by to see if I was doing alright.  That makes me feel safe and cared for.  Ahhhhh it was a nice day until I started feeling sick and puked all over myself but I only had to sit in it for 35 minutes. 


                                         

[twirl]

           get it    tossing your cookies

 

[Jean]

ReRun, you are hysterical!!!! Keep writing, MORE please.

[MandaMe1986]

Haha wasn't able to get around to reading this till today. I love it!

[twirl]

rerun - if you have learned one thing ; you have learned to listen to me
- I told you that you are hysterical - to Hell with Sears and that job -
your career is in writing - you have a gift  -- USE IT
and I am your agent and I get 10% or 1% -- I do not care - you need to be in print
and then you could write a very humoress letter to tell Sears to F- off

[kitkatz]

Dear Diary,
      I have had enough of this dialysis crap already.

[dwcrawford]

Finished my 5th week (15 Treatments).  I can honestly say that the whole process sucks.

[okarol]

Rerun - you always make me laugh!

 

[Treasure]

oh, rerun. you are so     i would totally "wet 'em" but i no longer pee! 

i know, i know...excessive use of 'moties.

but that was some funny shit. and yes, i said that.  btw, hehehe.

ps, rerun, can i include your diary on my blog? hehehe...