Will You / Did You... Tell Your Boss & Workmates about Your Dialysis?

[Swee_tone]

I was wondering about that in days to come for me.
I think there was a thread last year about this, but I would like some recent thoughts on this.

Are you concerned they will try to get rid of you if they know? Or perhaps maybe  you dont want people feeling sorry everytime you come into the room?
What about employers concerned about what you will cost their company? That is a legitimate concern if the greedy bean counters get word!
I know it's not like some dirty little secret or something, but there could be consequences of revealing a major health condition to someone who expects you to produce and pull alot of weight.
Pros / Cons of revealing?
I'm just curious....







EDITED:Moved to work topic section-kitkatz,Moderator

[paul.karen]

I told my boss mainly due to the fact i had to have an operation and i didnt feel threatened with being fired.   Also i knew i would need time off to do training and go to the clinic once a month.
We are a small business and she,  the boss often leaves town to do trade shows leaving me here alone to run her business
I told her if i thought i wouldn't be able to continue ( i have to lift heavy stuff) i would give her plenty of notice.

As for anyone feeling sorry or pity for me it has pretty much been life as usual which is fine with me.  Sometimes i will get tired and i wont work as fast  as usual other then that life goes on day by day.  As far as medical bills go i pay into my insurance and i told them after 30 months i would be on Medicare and i would only need a prescription plan so in the long run they will be saving money. 

I think when it is an invisible infliction like ESRD is that people forget that we/you are even sick.  Which again is fine with me.

[Hanify]

Didn't have much choice as I was in hospital for weeks before I started haemo.  It's a hard one cos the reality is that some bosses would hold it against you.  I think being open about it is best, but I say that from a position of an incredibly supportive work place, and I just know it's not the case for a lot of people.  I just think with kidney failure you are unlikely to be able to continue without something going wrong sometime, and then you'd be in the awkward position of NOT having told the boss you know?

[Deanne]

I told my manager a few months ago, when it looked like I was about to be headed for a transplant evaluation. I'm still pre-ESRD. I told because I know I'll need to take time off work for the evaulation process or for surgery to get set up for dialysis. I also think my performance has slipped because it's sometimes hard to concentrate. I wanted to tell him before performance becomes an issue.

I my case, it went very well. He said that when it becomes necessary, he'll assign me to tasks that are less critical so I won't have to stress about trying to meet critical deadlines. I'm thankful to have a supportive workgroup and great insurance. I know not everyone is as fortunate.

[Bub]

Did I???  I blather on and on and on to any one that will listen.  Complete strangers, the postman, the cab driver, you name it.  I wont shut up!  I am not shy about even the worst details.  I would put out a newsletter if I could get any subscribers.

[willowtreewren]

I can't get the quotes to work, but Bub you said "I would put out a newsletter if I could get any subscribers."

That is a hoot. I don't have my smileys, but I would put the rolling on the floor one right here!

Aleta

[rookiegirl]

I told management and most of my co-workers who asked.  Work has been very supportive.  I'm thankful that I work a full time job and doing well with my new kidney.

[lizabee]

I told my boss, I had no choice since I had to go from FT to PT.  I have been very lucky!  My boss has bent over backwards for me.

[sico]

I can't get the quotes to work, but Bub you said "I would put out a newsletter if I could get any subscribers."

That is a hoot. I don't have my smileys, but I would put the rolling on the floor one right here!

Aleta

Yeah no smileys.     That was funny Bub.

Are you concerned they will try to get rid of you if they know? Or perhaps maybe  you dont want people feeling sorry everytime you come into the room?
What about employers concerned about what you will cost their company? That is a legitimate concern if the greedy bean counters get word!
I know it's not like some dirty little secret or something, but there could be consequences of revealing a major health condition to someone who expects you to produce and pull alot of weight.
Pros / Cons of revealing?
I'm just curious....

I had no choice, was really sick and hospitalized when i started "D". Took 3 to 4 months before my PD got working and to recover from all the abdominal surgery.
Used up 9 weeks of sick leave, then some annual leave and was eventually retrenched while on leave without pay. But about 20 other people got put off at the same time. So i didn't really get the chance to go back. I was more upset about losing my job than my kidney failure.

[pamster42000]

I am speaking as a caregiver....My bosses were very supportive when I needed to take off from work to be with my daughter when she was hospitalized. I work in a nursing home and I have found over the years that working in this profession the bosses are very understanding and I always knew they supported us.

[HubbysPartner]

Did I???  I blather on and on and on to any one that will listen.  Complete strangers, the postman, the cab driver, you name it.  I wont shut up!  I am not shy about even the worst details.  I would put out a newsletter if I could get any subscribers.

      

[Des]

Did I???  I blather on and on and on to any one that will listen.  Complete strangers, the postman, the cab driver, you name it.  I wont shut up!  I am not shy about even the worst details.  I would put out a newsletter if I could get any subscribers.

funny,,,

Me too... is your birthday in May?  It somehow makes me feel better to tell people....

[RichardMEL]

I always feel it is better to be upfront about such things - specially when you have warning that something will happen. I put myself in their shoes and I would have to have a "surprise" hit on me when suddenly employee X can't show up for work for X time because they had to go on dialysis or something - and didn't inform me that they knew this was a likely thing. I'm not a manager, but if I was, I would appreciate the heads up (in my case it wound up that I told them almost too early as it was like 2.5 years before I ended up starting!) and being able to plan for it.

Now if you don't know you're going to have this stuff happen - well that's a whole other thing of course.. but I did know Dialysis was coming up for a long time, and I knew it would have an impact on my work. I let them know and they were totally supportive about it. Even now they say when it comes up "just get the transplant. Don't you worry about how much time you need or whatever."

I know I am very lucky to have such a supportive workplace (or maybe they just want to get rid of me for awhile )

[Jie]

I told only my boss and someone under me. If I cannot work, both of them need to find a way to deal with my duties. An employee in our work place took about 9 months off during dialysis and transplant. Her whole division was geared up to help her, donating more than half of year of leave to her. Every step of her progress was emailed out to everyone. My boss is supportive, indicating that my health comes first. When you are on dialysis, it is difficult to hide. Work productivity would be lower than before.

[cloud393]

My husband and I worked for the same small company.  We were both in management positions.  We were told all the time that we were part of their family and they would always be there for us.  Well, last October when I found out I needed to start dialysis, boy did things change!  Starting with getting "layed off" a week later.  Since then they've "suggested" to my husband that we find other insurance cause I was making their rates go up.  Well, to no suprise, they are cancelling the coverage for the whole company. Supposedly. So, Dec. 1st, we have no coverage!  So I say it doesn't pay to be completely honest.  After all we were "part of their family" and it didn't really matter.  I wish we wouldn't have been so upfront with them as to what my medical problems are.  After all, all they really need to know is that you have an appointment, not what it's for. 

[Jie]

It is sad for things occurred this way. There is always a risk when one works for a small co. with a small pool. It costs about 1 million U.S dollars during the first 30 months when the private insurance is primary. Even when Medicare becomes primary after 30 months, the private insurance still needs to pay 20%, which, plus medicines, could easily over 40k a year. It does not save any money for the company, period! If the insurance pool is small, these costs alone could drive some companies out of business. I guess this is what it needs for healthcare reform.

[Melissa]

I was always upfront about what was going on with me, and was very lucky to have a very supportive boss.  I had a great relationship with her, so she really went above and beyond in making accommodations for me.  I did work for a very large company though, so the impact on insurance and workload was probably less than it would have been in a small company. 
But, as I got sicker and needed to cut back more the company had some layoffs which impacted my workload.  I couldn't keep up, took a leave and was eventually asked to come back or leave for good.  It was hard to part ways, but of course for the best. 

[Des]

Did I???  I blather on and on and on to any one that will listen.  Complete strangers, the postman, the cab driver, you name it.  I wont shut up!  I am not shy about even the worst details.  I would put out a newsletter if I could get any subscribers.

funny,,,

Me too... is your birthday in May?  It somehow makes me feel better to tell people....

I think Gemini's do that....... weird. My bday is the 23 May. and yours is in June. I tell the world if I have a problem. But I only talk about the facts. I always downplay my feelings though. That creates the image that I am doing fine. I see you also have that problem. hehehe

[Maker]

I was also in the hospital (A LOT) before starting dialysis so there was just no hiding it.  Although my boss can know, he's forbidden from telling my co-workers.  But I have been very open about it to them also.  Otherwise people think crazy stuff 

I think HR would like to fire me, but I work for big corporate America...they know better.  The AMA requires them to accomodate me.  I won't be able to work my usual 40 hours because my center's latest dialysis start time is 3 PM.  So I will only be paid for 32 hours.  Just thankful to keep my job.  Unfortunately, every time I am scheduled to go back to work something comes up (fistula surgery, infection...)  Oh well, at least I am off Thanksgiving week!!

[MIbarra]

I told my first boss right away because I was comfortable with her. The next principal that took over the school I was uncomfortable with (still am) and did not tell her until I had to because I had to start dialysis. Amazingly, she has always seemed to be supportive about it. Of course, it's pretty darn hard to get rid of us teachers!  =)

[Goofy]

At first I didn't tell anyone at work because I was afraid that it might impact my job.  But when I had to go on the transplant list, I felt I had to tell my manager because I knew I would be taking a lot of time off for all the testing.  He was very good about it.

I asked him not to tell anyone and he said that was fine with him.  I still kept it from my co-workers.  Now that I'm thinking back, I'm not really sure why I did that.  I guess I didn't want anyone to think that I was "sick" and that I would be able to do my job.

Then I ended up with a transplant (which eventually rejected) so that that point everyone knew because my manager was so excited for me, he sent a note to the whole department to let them know I was getting a transplant.

It ended up actually helping me by everyone knowing.  One man went home and told his wife about me and she ended getting tested to donate.  I had never even met her before. 

All along, my doctor has told me to tell everyone I know or meet.  He said you never know who is wiling to donate but you have to let them know you need it!! 

I'll be starting dialysis next week and I've let my manager and co-workers know.  They are all very supportative.  I keep telling them how dialysis detour me from coming to work every day.

Actually, I hope its working in my favor.  For the last few months, I've been really messing up at work.  I keep apologizing for my mistakes and I tell everyone that once I start dialysis, I’ll be back to my same old self and that I won't be messing up anymore!!

All my co-worker tell me to take as much time off as I need because they are here to back me up!

[Goofy]

See how I always mess up!  Below I meant to say.......I keep telling them how dialysis detour me from coming to work every day.  Obviously I meant to say WON'T detour me.........

I'm like Bub now.  I tell everyone I meet.  I don't just start off saying hi, I need a kidney but I somehow get it in the conversation.  I'd wear a tee-shirt with something printed on it saying I need a kidney, but I'm afraid there are too many people out there that are financially strapped and  I wouldn't want someone to think that maybe I would "pay" for their kidney. 

That may sound like a stupid statement but I've watched documentaries that show how many people who are so desperate for money, will sell their kidney.

[nursewratchet]

My secretary is a Dialysis patient.  she is AWESOME, and wonderful.  She works all day, and goest to Hemo after work, for a 3rd shift.  She is very open about it, and we all support her.  She is also a very good friend.

[Swee_tone]

Thanks to everyone for the informative and honest replies!
I am not sure what I will do yet, i'll see how things go, I guess. I'm kind of leaning towards keeping personal things personal if it is all possible. 

Here's another question:
I'm on a group plan insurance. I think I know the answer, but i'll put it out there:

 Does the employer have the ability/ right to know what medications it's employees are taking if you are on the group plan medical insurance coverage?

[jennyc]

When i applied for my old employer (NRMA, Oz largest general insurer, they also own hastings in the UK and one other) i was worried about how i'd tell them. Thing is due to anti-descrimination act they weren't actually allowed to ask me if i had any pre-exisiting illnesses, so I didn't disclose it. When i had to go back onto PD i sat down with my team manager and told him the situation. They allowed me to use up 2 weeks of my holidays for the operation and the other 2 weeks for the training. I didn't have to touch my sick leave, they let me save that.

They were tight in some ways and very controlling of their staff (real toilet nazi's, they'd follow you as soon as you logged off the phone to have a coffe or goto toilet) but they were supportive in other ways. I ended up leaving becuase i was too sick to work and i wanted to leave before it started to affect my performance levels. I didnt' want to get a bad name.


They were pretty cool with it all though. I worked there from 05-08. The last jerk i worked for put me on permanent graveyard shifts (12-7am) when he found out i was pregnant. That's hospitality for you i guess. I had already done 2 weeks straight (14 days working on graveyard no day off) whilst 3 months pregnant then he approached me and asked why i was tired, told him i was pregnant and he switched my shift to permanent nighttime which meant it was me as manager and one barman on duty and that i'd be working another 10 days straight without a day off. I resigned on the spot.