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Author Topic: The laws of ultimate reality  (Read 1425 times)
okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« on: August 16, 2009, 10:54:54 AM »

The laws of ultimate reality

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Variation Law
If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every  time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
 
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
 
Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.  Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
YLGuy
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« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2009, 11:43:16 AM »


Variation Law
If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every  time).


This also holds true regarding checkout lines at the grocery store.
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MandaMe1986
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« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2009, 11:53:00 AM »

haha, thanks
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Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theres is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they whohunger and thirst for righteousness, for theywill be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Matthew 5:3-9
tyefly
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This will be me...... Next spring.... I earned it.

« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2009, 12:08:08 PM »

     How about the 

  Law of Trucking...........Size doesnt Matter.......

        that is what we have on the back of our sleeper..... 
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IgA Nephropathy   April 2009
CKD    May 2009
AV Fistula  June 2009
In-Center Dialysis   Sept 2009
Nxstage    Feb 2010
Extended Nxstage March 2011

Transplant Sept 2, 2011

  Hello from the Oregon Coast.....

I am learning to live close to the lives of my friends without ever seeing them. No miles of any measurement can separate your soul from mine.
- John Muir

The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
- John Muir
Bajanne
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Goofynina and Epoman - Gone But Not Forgotten

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« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2009, 12:55:59 PM »

My dad used to talk about 'the perversity of inanimate objects'!
Example - you need a red pen. All you will find are blue pens.  When you need a blue pen, there are only red ones.  It works for pins and needles too.
You find stuff when you are not looking for it, and you don't find the stuff you are looking for.
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"To be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own ...but that which is based on faith"



I LOVE  my IHD family! :grouphug;
Jean
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« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2009, 08:56:14 PM »

Funny..............and so gosh darned true!!!
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
Des
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« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2009, 02:37:33 AM »

also... The minute you make a hair appointment ... You have the best hair day ever ... and you wonder why you want to have it cut?
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Please note: I am no expert. Advise given is not medical advise but from my own experience or research. Or just a feeling...

South Africa
PKD
Jan 2010 Nephrectomy (left kidney)
Jan 2010 Fistula
Started April 2010 Hemo Dialysis(hate every second of it)
Nov 2012 Placed on disalibity (loving it)
peleroja
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I have 16 hats, all the same style!

« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2009, 09:58:58 AM »


Variation Law
If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every  time).


This also holds true regarding checkout lines at the grocery store.

And banks, too.

The law of logical argument reminds me of the time I wrote a term paper and made up every single statistic.  I got an A plus on it!
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paul.karen
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« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2009, 10:16:38 AM »

These are all great  :2thumbsup;
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Curiosity killed the cat
Satisfaction brought it back

Operation for PD placement 7-14-09
Training for cycler 7-28-09

Started home dialysis using Baxter homechoice
8-7-09
Darthvadar
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« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2009, 10:30:25 AM »

Add the Law of Dentist visits...

You develop a problem, you do the right thing and phone the dentist's surgery straight away... Secretary tells you that the earliest appointment's three weeks away... Then when you eventually get into the chair and open wide, the dentist sighs loudly and says "Honestly Darth, I wish you'd come to me sooner!"...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
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