Counseling

[mmmmdeedee]

I just noticed, after reading many posts, that some people are seeing therapists or have in the past. I think I really need to see one as I am in a big funk and am not dialysing correctly (ccpd), not taking my medications correctly (Renagel, calcitrol, etc.) and just generally not eating correctly.

I can't seem to get it in my head that I am sick and have to take care of myself. I am tired of being sick and want to be normal. I do not want to be a responsible person.

I know many of you have been through way more than I have and bravo for all of you that are making it through with your wits about you. I just can't seem to do it.

So I just want to know....does it help you to see a therapist?

I also have my brother who is a perfect match who is willing and able to give me his kidney but I can't even call the coordinator to schedule testing. What a big baby I am huh?!

Oh, and does the Kidney Foundation have a list of therapists that specialize in situations like ours? Or anyone else for that matter? I don't really care for my dialysis unit social worker. She's much too chipper for me. Everything is wine and roses with her  !

Anyway, thank you for your input.

Dee Dee

[vandie]

Dee Dee, 
I see a therapist, and she really helps me to deal with the things that friends and family cannot.  I researched and found her on my insurance website under therapists who specialize in chronic diseases.   
I don't think you are a baby AT ALL.  Deciding to take the plunge and accept a donation is a huge decision that weighs heavily and is not easily done.  But if you are ready, and your brother is willing, go for it.   
Stay strong.  You have a tremendous amount of support on this board.

[Sluff]

Your social worker is a third party and as I've said before no matter how well you know somebody you can not feel someone Else's feelings.

You can have empathy for them but you really can't relate because we all see things differently. I try to be careful with my answers because my disease is in the early stages and i am not on dialysis so I can not and try not to act like I know the answers, but a few life lessons from other things, is that a therapist can offer alot in the way of allowing you to come to grips with your disease, feelings about your disease and help you understand why you feel the way you do.

The trick here is you need to feel comfortable with your therapist in order to feel better, if you think they are an idiot then you would be wasting your time and should search for a different therapist.

Your therapist could be someone from IHD that youv'e come to trust, a close friend, clergy, or a professional.

Good luck and please take care of your health as best you can. 

[Epoman]

Well we here at IHD are good listeners and are much cheaper than a therapist. Come here and tell us your problems, rant and vent. I could never afford to pay someone to listen to my problems and help me deal with them but I have found a lot of support on this site. But honestly try talking to us here and maybe we can help you out. and no I don't think you are a baby, I still have not gotten on the transplant list and I have been on dialysis for 13 years.

[Rerun]

I just noticed, after reading many posts, that some people are seeing therapists or have in the past. I think I really need to see one as I am in a big funk and am not dialysing correctly (ccpd), not taking my medications correctly (Renagel, calcitrol, etc.) and just generally not eating correctly.

I can't seem to get it in my head that I am sick and have to take care of myself. I am tired of being sick and want to be normal. I do not want to be a responsible person.

I know many of you have been through way more than I have and bravo for all of you that are making it through with your wits about you. I just can't seem to do it.

So I just want to know....does it help you to see a therapist?

I also have my brother who is a perfect match who is willing and able to give me his kidney but I can't even call the coordinator to schedule testing. What a big baby I am huh?!

Oh, and does the Kidney Foundation have a list of therapists that specialize in situations like ours? Or anyone else for that matter? I don't really care for my dialysis unit social worker. She's much too chipper for me. Everything is wine and roses with her  !

Anyway, thank you for your input.

Dee Dee

Do not, repeat DO NOT tell your transplant coordinator this!  You could ask your Nephrologist for a good counselor who deals with CKD.  Your Social Worker sounds like a flake.  So is mine.  But, yeah, come here.  We will listen.  We will tell you the truth.

[paris]

Do you know anything about Stephens Ministry?  Don't back away because it sounds religious!  A nurse recommended the program to me. No cost. We meet once a week and I am able to say or do anything. She doesn't tell me I am right or wrong. She listens to me, cries with me, lets me be as mad as I want to be.  Some days we only talk about health issues and other days I will say that I am sick of being sick, let's talk about music or books. She isn't there to cure or fix anything. She IS there to listen to all the things I don't want to burden my family with. The other day I talked for on hour about my funeral--it's not happening soon, but my family has a hard time just thinking ahead.  If I ask, she will pray with me, but that is my option. I never thought I would "see" anyone, but we are all carrying a huge burden, even if we think we can handle everything.  We can all use another set of shoulders to help us carry our load. I wouldn't have gone to a therapist, the cost being one reason. I am glad to have found another option. I am the person who helps everyone else with their problems. It is good to have a place to go just for me.

[Sara]

I voted no, because Joe is not currently seeing anyone.  I wish he would though.

[mmmmdeedee]

Thank you all for your support. I just sent a long e-mail to my brother and he supports me also but is raring to go with the transplant. I guess I can understand his side also.

It felt good finally letting him know what my thoughts were though.

I did think more people would be in counseling though. I guess I feel bad spilling things onto friends and family so it just feels better venting to someone who's getting paid to listen!

Well, if not that many of you are seeing therapists, are many of you on anti-depressants?

[meadowlandsnj]

About 9 months ago I was given the chance to talk to a counselor so I talked to her a few times.  I got nothing from it.  She was pushing these meditation tapes on me and I really wasn't interested.  The tapes were of a computer like voice saying these inane, assinine things like "I am a worthy person"  "I like me"  "I am worthy of love"   Ever watch the older Saturday Night Live shows where Stewart Smalley had the affirmations?  This reminded me of that. 
I really don't talk about dialysis and medical things with my friends.  If they bring it up then I talk about it to answer their questions but that's about it.  I figure everyone has their problems and things they deal with plus I don't want any sympathy or pity.  My family is the same, I talk to my mother and sister about things but I don't dwell on it.  I've been around people who only talk about themselves and their problems.  You really don't want to be around them because all they do is whine about how bad they have it.  I never wanted to be like that so hopefully I'm not.

[mmmmdeedee]

I have a big problem with that also - making things always about me. I know I don't do that but we still feel guilty about taking any time to talk about ourselves. That's why I think it's okay to pay for someone to listen!

Well, I called the transplant coordinator. She was not there so hopefully she'll get back to me tomorrow.

The first step has been taken.

Ugh.

[Bajanne]

This topic really made me think.  I have never spent any time in counselling, but there was something you said as you started this topic that really hit a sore spot.  I wonder why I have such a problem complying, like such a simple thing as taking my binders.  That is a big problem with me and I don't even know why it should be.  I think I will have a chat with one of the counsellors at my school.

[Panda_9]

We have a great psychologist here that is available for all renal patients. I see her every couple of weeks and it does help. She offers good advice and support and is not pushy at all. Have been on antidepressants before, and they really did help me to get out of a huge black hole, along with a bit of a change of life situation.

[mmmmdeedee]

This topic really made me think.  I have never spent any time in counselling, but there was something you said as you started this topic that really hit a sore spot.  I wonder why I have such a problem complying, like such a simple thing as taking my binders.  That is a big problem with me and I don't even know why it should be.  I think I will have a chat with one of the counsellors at my school.

Yeah, that's the thing. The simple things I can't do. Which makes me wonder what about the big stuff. If I were to get the transplant? Amyway, feeling better but my family is starting to push for the transplant. My brother is giving me the kidney so he wants to be able to plan his life so I guess I have to consider his time frame also. Just not sure I want to deal with all this stuff yet.