DECREASE IN SEXUAL DRIVE...

[maritza0486]

IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE DONE WHEN ON DIALYSIS AND THE SEXUAL DRIVE IS DECREASING AS TIME GOES BY? I AM ONLY 23 YEARS OLD AND IM STILL SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND ALL BUT I CANT SEEM TO REACH MY PEAK EVER...IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I WAS THINKING OF TALKING TO MY SOCIAL WORKER OR DOCTOR ABOUT THIS, BUT I WOULD HONESTLY FEEL TOO WEIRD. I WOULD RATHER ASK YOU GUYS OUT THERE WHO UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION MORE PHYSICALLY...

[kimcanada]

I really can't answer you, but I think that its an excellent question to ask.

23 is to young to have problems without sharing them with someone.  Good Luck maritza ... I hope they can help you

[twirl]

I think you should ask your doctor and good luck.

[maritza0486]

Ok. Thanks for the advice and support. I guess I just wanted to hear some opinions and some experiences with anyone else. I will builld up courage to ask my doctor tomorrow and see what she says. I will keep you guys informed. Thanks again for your help. 

[KICKSTART]

Ooooooo see you can write without using capitols all the time !  Difficult one that because your body kind of shuts down and only keeps going what it really needs to ! and im afraid 'sex' isnt top of its list !

[monrein]

Maritza, have you tried using a vibrator and lubrication to stimulate yourself while you fantasize about sexual activity?  Be sure to go slow and take your time and don't think about orgasm at all.  Just relax and enjoy the sensation and think about all the things that you find arousing.  It's probably best to do this while alone at first although you can incorporate this for sure into couple activity later on if your partner won't be too threatened.  If he/she is then a good chat is the necessary next step.  Dialysis is of course an issue but quite often, especially at your age, part of the trouble is also that your partner (especially male partners if you are heterosexual) reach orgasm on a way different timetable than we females so the trick is to slow them down without frustrating the living life out of them so that we can take our time to get where we want to go.
Sex toys are a great way to get to know what you like and how you like it so then you can train your partner in a very specific to you way.  Men often like to believe that they really know what they're doing in the area of sex but the truth is they don't have our equipment so they have little or no clue.  They tend to let us know very directly what they like and want but in general women seem to prefer to let guys take charge of the timing and the order of things and that usually only works best for the male equipment.

[MIbarra]

I too had a decrease in sex drive during dialysis and it was a definitely a problem so I understand how you feel. I wish I had spoken to my doctor about it.

I believe part of my problem was a high blood pressure pill I was taking during dialysis so there could be many reasons for this.

I definitely recommend talking to your doctor and exploring with other options (like Monrein so tactfully wrote).

[Jay72]

Sex???  What's that?  HA HA HA   Just kidding, but talk to your doc Iam sur ethey can help.  I can say that my drive has gone down from what it used to me and things don't seem to be working as good as they used to.  When I was on dialysis 13 years ago I still had the same problem and I was 23 then!!

[MandaMe1986]

I have the same problem. Nice to know I am not alone.  But you are better then I. I never would have asked.   If you get a good anwser let me know.  I really don't think there is much that we can do though. 

[twirl]

and now I can not drink to help get in the mood 

[dwcrawford]

Occasionally I venture to places I should not.  This thread was one.  I'm embarassed.  Carry on Ladies!!!!

[Wenchie58]

LOL!!  Dan, you crack me up...stick around, you might learn something.  It's in your brain folks....getting tired, low blood counts, bp meds..they all effect your body, therefore your brain.  It's difficult to get "in the mood" when you don't even have ambition to clean your house....or brush your teeth for that matter.
I had a ....ummm..."friend" we will call him, when I first got sick....he couldn't or wouldn't understand.....so I removed him from the situation...and relieved myself of much frustration! (No, it doesn't involve a gun, a shovel or the woods behind the house.)
We all do what we need to do to get ourselves through. To some sexuality is a sidebar in life, in others it IS life.  Just gotta find your spot on the grid.

[twirl]

Occasionally I venture to places I should not.  This thread was one.  I'm embarassed.  Carry on Ladies!!!!

Oh big freakin' deal - we are all adults here -
no harm done -
and was it deleted ?
and you make me laugh and I like that in a person   

[MandaMe1986]

Come on Dan you don't want to feel us in on weither guys have the same problem?

[twirl]

guys may have it worse - they can't fake it - I mean I don't think they could -

[napala turki]

Dont know weather its thru, but I can feel the moody of sexual has decrease... I'm 51 just on dailysis 3 yrs old. My sexual is still perform but has no interest, why? can someone share this problem... aiya......

[iketchum]

Diabetes, high blood pressure, and pirones, and now dialysis. No sex for 3 years or so. Definitely see your Dr.

[napala turki]

Diabetes, high blood pressure, and pirones, and now dialysis. No sex for 3 years or so. Definitely see your Dr.

My kidney failure is not due to BP or diabetes... but overdose of pain killer or drug...

[Hanify]

It is normal to have a decrease in desire for all the above reasons.  There have been lots of studies dones, and not only is the decrease common, but it's also common that we find it a hard conversation to have with our doctors.  I ended up discussing it with what we call a district nurse - I don't know if you have the equivalent over there.  She had to discuss anything she wanted me to try with my oncologist anyway, so it was a bit of a waste of time.  But I felt way more comfortable talking to her than to my onc or neph.

[dwcrawford]

You people are forgetting one major contributiong factor.  Old Age!  And a cardiologist who won't let you take viagra.  (What's the commercial:  See a doctor if "it" last more than four hours... Hell, I'd see the Ripley reporters.

[RichardMEL]

I love Monrein's advice! No seriously - I think it is considered(and probably comes of experience) and it makes sense. I have to admit at the times I have been with someone and have not always been able to er.. function.. fully.... I've suggested and/or participated in exactly what she's suggested.

(dan turn away now!)

Sometimes I've found that pleasuring my partner in terms of masturbating them and other related activities has been a good way to help them experience pleasure(and hopefully orgasm) when I'm unable to fully satisfy them(for whatever reason).

I think having a partner that is very comfortable with their body and their sexuality helps - they won't feel weird about using a vibrator with you or helping out in the ways I've outlined.

Oh and for those that asked do men suffer in the same way? I would say in my experience it is a different sort of problem. I have no problem being aroused and wanting to, but it's the energy to keep going that can strike.. and usually at the worst possible moment(very embarassing!) - and unlike a woman who can fake a few things or it's hard to tell sometimes(for me, anyway!) it's very obvious when a man has this kind of issue and obviously in the heat of passion it really can kill things. That's when you need the understanding partner and a sense of humour. As I say when that sort of thing happens and I'm with the right person I make every effort I can to pleasure them in other ways so hopefully they can enjoy themselves....

[kitkatz]

I think some creativity and a good sense of humor helps in any situation!

[dwcrawford]

True... and Richard is funny...

[RichardMEL]

Dan!!! I told you to turn away!!!!! 

[maritza0486]

I am glad that you are all being very open minded on this matter. I still have not had the chance to speak with my neph but now I am thinking I will not feel uncomfortable in doing so. Why? Because she is a woman! That makes it all the more comfortable for me because I guess in a way she would understand. My boyfriend knows and sees that I can never reach my peak and I told him that it is because of the kidney failure and the dialysis, not necessarily because of him. Not to go informational on you guys, but he really does try his VERY BEST to get me where I need to be and unfortunately it just does not work. It is frustrating at times but hey, what can I do. At least it is overall enjoyable. Thanks to all the men who posted here. It should not be an embarassing topic for we are all humans and sex is a natural thing. I just wanted to see if anyone else went through the same thing as I. Thanks again for posting!